BACK TO BASICS

OUR ROMEO…

I am striving to fix my attention on the things that need my attentiveness the most.  For instance, I would rather plan for my classes both at the Pinnacle Fitness Club and in Papillion, but thoughts of “stuff” precisely the thoughts that I left the Motor to avoid, are cluttering my mind.  Given the preoccupation of my mind, the brain is unable to focus on the work that need to be done.  That said…

A few years ago I found this website, “Wait But Why?” is ran by Tim Urban and he even has a TED Talk about the topic that is at heart of my absence from my journal… procrastination.  He made a series of blog posts about “the why” of the subject and how to avoid the tricks and traps of the instant gratification monkey that lives inside of all of us.  When I started including Kitty into my life, I found that my time for myself began to shrink and I made the executive decision to let my “internet life” go into hypersleep whilst I focused my energies in my real world activities.  Soon, all I had were the small, niceties, of my life to content myself with, as I felt less and less productive with the construction of the life that I hoped to live.  Remembering Tim’s talk, I have decided to adopt some of the discussed principles and apply them to my life.

One of the things that I will HAVE to adopt is scheduling.  Going randomly from task to task is an easy way to become bogged down in the doldrums… the niceties of life.  And in observing Schopenhauer and what can be found in them, such as where a man’s character resides and how prone one is to being a scoundrel (or a**hole… take your pick, as they are too similar for me to make a distinction between them) or someone who you can place trust and faith in, is quite important when you are planning a “grand undertaking”, the operative word being “grand”, because as long as it is an accomplishment of major distinction to you, it is grand enough to be designated as such.  Yet, without a schedule, the “grandness” of your objective is not even a dream that becomes deferred, but something worse… a pipe dream, whether in a hookah or a crack one, may as well be a wish.

So I am going to be producing an entry a week, most likely either Thursday or Sunday.  Occasionally both days, but definitely one of them (unless noted), and it will be low on the ditherings of my social life.  While you can never return to a place, I do long for my initial time of solitude when I arrived in Omaha.  Being alone was something that I looked forward to, and accepting of my own personal faults, thrived while I was so.  I am not outright blaming Kitty for anything… but, I know that I was in a better state of affairs when we first met than I am now.   I did not become a “better person” for my experience with her… I am still tracking to be who I want to be, but after wandering around for a bit, I feel that I have certified the direction that I want to go.