Friday, January 17, 2014

THE CODEFIED LIFE V


TACTICAL
Like the Affordable Care Act, my 2014 roll-out has lurched about in going forward.  Still, things h ave been progressing accordingly and I fully expect to meet all my marks for the year.  
KT, who is on pace to graduate in the top 5% of Carolina high school students this year, has been offered  a scholarship to attend North Carolina Agricultural and Technical University.  Do you know who  else went to Carolina A&T?  I did!!  So I am very happy for her, but it isn’t her top choice.  There  has been no word on what her school of choice is going to offer but Nixxie said that unless the same kind of deal is being proffered, she’ll be an Aggie!  
One of the interesting things that occured when I posted the news on my Facebook page is how   classy Pecan Sandie was when she happened upon my post.  She congratulated KT, we both  exchanged messages with the hopes of getting Lexxie out west this summer.  She, like her older  sister, is a very busy teenager and fitting in two weeks of visiting me is not an easy thing.  We  will keep our fingers crossed!

I have a Bloggie camera and as soon as I figure it out I plan to put a “max lift” workout up here and on my Facebook page.  The last time I did a max lift, I was able to get 265lbs on the bench,  405lbs on the squat and 425lbs on the deadlift.  Along with my conceptual roll-out, my weight  training has lurched about, mainly because I have not taken the time to put together a training   log.  We are incorporating yoga and mindfulness into the fitness equation, which I believe will fit and enhance my life approach.
DO NOTHING WITHOUT A REGARD TO THE CONSEQUENCES - Aesop
I have decided that going through my “Rules To Live By” at this time was appropriate.  After three  full years of living here on my own, I feel acclimated enough with my surroundings to insure my  continued progress.  My ups have been greater than my downs, and I have every reason to think  that I will continue trending as appreciably as I have been since my arrival.  My Algebra is going  swimmingly and I expect to pick up the pace for spring term, testing out how well I do with the added stress of taking on more classes.  If feasible, I would like the next school year to be my last in junior college.
Like many underachievers (please try harder!!) I have had occasion to wonder “what if…” with   certain moments in my life.  They all tend to center around my starter marriage and how it left the   stain of regret in my soul.  In fact, I made the case (to myself of course..!) that the hesitancy to    pull the trigger with the Delta Girl and Tee Jay was due to the stench of the residue from the fail  experience with my starter wife.  As my marriage confirmed that someone who reminded me   Mother would not be a good fit for me, my marriage validated the qualities that were strongest in  my starter wife were not compatible with who I was, or who I wanted to be.
The quotes that I find and use in my journal, my “Rules”and the expectations they create, I first expect of myself.  Having gone  like Leonidas and his soldiers to the outskirts of their mortality and beyond for those that they were sworn to protect, I know that I have done likewise for those that I care about, and also why being willing to make the same kind of sacrifices for another person, I decided to formalize the character traits I was looking for in a partner.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

  Being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there. It's not about winning.  It’s
  about you and your relationship with yourself, your family and your friends. Being
  perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didn’t
  let them down because you told them the truth… And that truth is that you did every-
  thing you could, that there wasn’t one more thing you could have done… Can you
  live in that moment as best you can with clear eyes and love in your heart… with
  joy in your heart?  If you can do that gentlemen, you’re perfect.

This speech from "Friday Night Lights" embodies both what I am looking for and what I have to offer in return.  Existence, living, is all about relationships… relationships that you have with loved ones (family and friends included) with your co-workers and those whose service is engaged in working for you, people who you will encounter repeatedly and those who you will see only once and then never again.  In keeping this on the micro level, for someone that decides that they would like the opportunity to develop a relationship with me, the depth of that relationship can be measured by those above words.

I don’t trust people who can rattle of their limits in a relationship with the ease of a newsreader.   Because, it goes to follow, when you ask them how far they are willing to go for “that someone who  is SUPPOSED (because if they really WERE that someone, they should be able to go as far as needed) to be that someone”, knowing that usually the mark that we aim for we often fall short of, their efforts in a relationship are often going to be less-than-noteworthy.

I can’t be in relationship with someone like that.  I won’t do it.  I can’t do it.  Thanks to the indomitable wisdom of Anton Chigurh, “If the rule you used brought you to this, of what use was the rule?”

2 comments:

abbiestreehouse said...

This was one of your more upbeat posts- I'm glad things are starting to turn your way! I knew they would- you're like a cork, always bobbing to the top!

Ken Riches said...

Great news about the potential Aggie!