BACK TO SCHOOL
Went to pick up my books and I guess I am all set for the next term. Got the same instructor for my Algebra class, so at least I know what I can expect in that class. Human Relations is something I don’t have a good idea of what it is about but I am sure I will do well in the class.
It felt good walking through the buildings on campus and seeing familiar faces with the glint of recognition reflected in their eyes when they fell on me was comforting. It added to the sense of belonging that I have felt here in Omaha since I landed here 2 ½ years ago.
The break was well-needed but it was not without some incident. Had an attack of the gout (man that sounds so old! I keep thinking I am in the 1800’s when I say that!) in the first week I was off. Because it settled in the day after I did some heavy squat weights, I thought that maybe it was residual soreness from the workout. But it would worsen and the pain was crippling to the point where I thought about calling for help to get to the hospital. I decided instead to self-medicate since I have a cornucopia or prescription pain relievers on hand, and once I found what brought relief, I was good. My doctor’s appointment is next Friday and to be sure, I am going to make certain that he address that particular ailment!
I AM HER DA
One down, one more to go! Nixxie and I were able to make arrangements for our daughter to come to Omaha for the summer. So with that settled I can work on finding out if Lexxie’s Mom will let her come west for a couple of weeks.
My relationships with my girls Mother’s are like the relationship the porridge had to “The Three Bears”. One is too hot (Pecan Sandie), the other is too cold (My Ex-wife). Only one is close to being “just right” and that is the one that I have with Nixxie. So it is not about me playing favorites as much as we have been able to set aside “whatever” and let our daughter have both of her parents.
The first time I heard someone call their father “da”, it was when I went home on a school break with Delta Girl back in the way back. I had never heard anyone refer to their father as “da” and I thought of it as a local or regional thing, like the difference between “pop” and “soda”. It made me think that it was a little less formal and a little more affectionate to use “da”. So my heart melts when KT calls me that, and it flows so easily in her conversations with me that I have no doubt how she feels towards our relationship. Lexxie is pretty much the same way but her Mom and I have some differences and when it comes to Skye, what more needs be said about that relationship?
I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?
Not that I am insecure about myself but I do like to get feedback on how I come across to people, because I want to be sure that I am communicating as the person that I think that I am. That is one of the great faults of egoists that they are unable to withstand critique and grow from what they learn from outside observations.
When I ask if I am being too harsh or if I am guilty of extreme bias, it is so that I can question and test what I believe and my opinions against those of others. I am not cool with myself just because I am cool with myself, but because I am not so enamored with myself to where I am excused from the same kind of judgments that I use measure the opinions of others. Every so often I feel like I have wandered “off the reservation” and need to find myself back to where I belong!
So that is what makes the opinion and regard others have of me relevant, as it helps me to attain balance. I don’t have such a fragile ego to where I am instantly thrown into a spiral when I am told something bad about myself. Nor do I allow myself to become light-headed at a compliment.
AnyWHO… got to get my backpack set up for tomorrow. And why is there another Eddie Murphy movie out? Who green-lighted THAT?!? I think it does not bode well for a movie with one of the funniest lines (at least in the commercial I saw) is racist in nature. I am jus’ sayin’…