Saturday, March 10, 2012


This is where I go to school, the south campus here at Metro. It is a very nice place and I really enjoy going to class.

Last term these two were in my Accelerated Algebra class. Other than the obvious, they are a couple, I don’t know much about them. I think that it is super cute that they both are in school and go to the same classes together. Hopefully, a long and happy life in each other’s arms is in their future!

I don’t know what these guys are called but they push these carts around selling Ice Cream, some kind of pastry confection, and corn on the cob! But I remember from being around Hispanic communities in Carolina and in the Motor that corn on the cob and seasoned butter is a big thing with the Latin-South American people. It is early March but here is hoping spring comes early!

Since it is so nice out I did want to see if I could go for a run, especially since I ‘slept in’ (got up and moving @ 7:30 a.m.) and sort of lounged around to start the day. My foot was still a little sore and a little bit of the “stuff” from the most recent episode of gout was still mucking up the joint, robbing me of the movement to run comfortably. So instead I took a bath, dressed, and walked down the street to the Burger King on Dodge Street.

As I got it together to cross Farnham, I can see the #55 bus heading out west coming down the block. I had never ridden that bus to anywhere so I figured ‘why not’ and cross the street and hopped on it. After we got past 84th, we were in ‘new’ territory, so I felt a little adrenaline leak into my nervous system! Though Omaha still looks and in many ways is, ‘new’, this part of town was super new!


If there was any physical characteristic that is ‘small town’ about Omaha, it is the streets. They are narrow, and I remember when I came here to put in my application for housing that I thought it the sidewalks that seemed “smaller” to me. But now that I have been here to adjust to things somewhat, it is the streets themselves that are narrow. Sometimes the bus has to wind through residential areas I still get feeling of surprise because this is the only town I know where big city buses ride through the neighborhoods.

As much as I like Omaha and in spite of the lack of the kind of urban decay that many metro areas have, there is an ‘edge’ to the big O. There are people who in a different society (because society has changed its view of these folks greatly since I was a child to now) who would have been in either under the mental health umbrella or/and in a facility where they could get help and perhaps return to living on their own again. Then, because it is a WHITE town, the meth abusers who look like extras from ‘The Living Dead’ are everywhere. While I consider them way less threatening than your standard drunk (who could be a ‘mean’ one of those) and the crackhead of the late 80’s, it is the ‘ghost that walks’ aspect that makes me feel skitterish whenever a meth head is around.

Also, from the conversations I overhear, I would understand how a tea bagger could be railing about ‘those people who…’ and legitimately not be racist. While I never have thought of myself as someone who thinks he is ‘above’ anything, this is the first time in my life where I have been ‘broke’ and living truly among those who have found themselves on this side of the ‘Mendoza Line’ of life. And in the Omaha I have seen, they have been mostly white.

This summer I plan on taking a look-see what is on the north side of town, where ‘we’ live. So far I have not had too many reasons to go across Dodge Street, which is why I have no idea of what is over there. I would like to know if there are places for me and KT to hang out together, so I can put together a calendar while she is here. While it would be fine for her to sit here and watch the telly and veg, or do whatever she does on the computer, I know her Mom would get after me if I did not have ‘do’ something while she is here.


Finally, I get to be that guy.

It has been 6 years since I have been disabled and I am no longer living beneath the pressure that I had when I told Mookie Dee and our relationship began to suffer. Now I think that the two incidents are unrelated and if they are, well, f*ck you Mookie Dee! She perpetuated the fraud that is the corollary to what is an acknowledge insecurity of mine in intimate relationships… that when I need someone to ‘be there now’ for me, that they won’t be there for me. She wasn’t… ‘sigh ‘and that was that with that.

There is no reason for me to talk about ‘this and that’ because ‘this and that’ are not related to anything going on with my life. School and daughter’s are 1 and 1a in my life and I would need someone to give me a reason to make them 1c. Now maybe some of you are saying that that is too many number 1’s but again I am going to reference a comment that Alaina left a couple of entries ago where she mentioned (and if I mentioned then, I am going to repeat myself because it is that vital to how I approach relationships) that she feels “…that you have to make relationships equally important as everything else because you need the exposure to other people to be able to pick and choose who is really right for you”. Failing that, it will be difficult for you to participate in a fully in a relationship. You will be always falling short of your goals in a relationship and cheating your partner. As for my needs and desires unique to those of others…


Rhapsody B. said...

Wow you had a whole lot to say... trying to keep up.

Great you're in school; I trust you are doing well?

Taking the bus to parts unknown can be adventurous, sometimes i do that, just make the circle, look around, talk to the driver about the place.

hmmmmm, on people being there, though vague, I'll say this much, who is to be there will be there and sometimes that ones you desire is not the ones to show up and rise up. As much as that hurts sometimes you got to see the blessing in it, yes i said blessing and no am not mad, its a blessing because you do not want someone with you who is not as invested in you as you are in them, the love has to be reciprocal nothing else will do.

Have a blessed day and remember even in your trails you are blessed.


Lovebabz said...

Amen to Sister Rhapsody B!

Sometimes what and who we want doesn't show up as support...often they are the barriers.

Truly see who is for you and with you. Anything else is an illusion and a colossal waste of time.

Life must be lived on what is, not how we wish it to be.