BEFORE I RAMBLE ON...
I don't expect this between me and the SFC to 'crash and burn', though the capacity for something like that to happen always exists. Do we still love each other? Yes we do. I don't expect that we won't remain good friends, close even. Maybe that is all we are meant to be to each other. When we could have been more, we weren't.
THE SADDEST MUSIC IN THE WORLD
Pretty good movie set in depression era Canada. If it isn't in your NetFlix queue, it should be.
Vanessa Williams said something to the effect that when you are going through something in your love life, you should listen to sad songs and immerse yourself in that emotion. This will let you come thru it stronger on the other side. That may work for some people, but not me. I mean, I listen to stuff that I could equate with saddness and loss. But they don't intensify whatever is troubling me.
Even as I watch and listen to the video for 'On The Water' by The Walkmen and see myself as the rabbit who was struck and the buddy rabbit gets to hop to its life and future, I still am good with that. I made a conscious choice to live in my past. The results have been what they have been. The conclusion I have come to is, I want to live in my present and one of my own making. And I guess that is why my inner 'Mary Catherine Gallagher' has put 'M.A.D.' by Hadouken on repeat.
What most often weighs you down and brings you misery is the past. In the form of unnecessary attachments, repetitions of old, tired formulas, and the illusions of the memory of a time that wasn't as cool as you recall it being. Not to mention the defeats that were further from victory at the time, but that in retrospect the gap has closed and you think if a 'break or two' had went your way, then maybe...
AND A BROTHER LIKE ME IS GETTING HIS, ANYWAY...
When I left home as a teen to start my adulthood with the help of Uncle Sam, I left the desire to 'wish' for things to go my way, behind me. I meant to go out and make something happen. And this was despite whatever percieved shortfalls I had and the things I would have to overcome. Somehow, I figured that the worst of possible outcomes wouldn't happen to me. Things that cause the bile to roil around in my stomach never has made me bitter, but fueled me to do something about it.
So I see things as obstacles, big whoop. Obstacles are a condition to life. Get used to dealing with them. I think that I have or at the very least, am on my way to becoming accustomed to them.
8 comments:
MArk, you have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself. I love to read what you write.
maybe its a woman thing,but I DO immerse myself in sad songs and such when I'm depressed and lost. Somehow...I feelw orse than I did before, but I always seem to come out of it stronger than ever. that's whats happened to me this time. Things are starting to look up and I'm MAYBE starting to feel hope again, which I haven't felt in a long time..in fact, I didn feel anything for along time.
Whats up with your and your girl? have I missed something, since I've been gone?
hang in there sweetie...you can do it.
I have an idea of what you're saying here. In more ways than not, I think this is for you. Anything anyone says will role off, because you know how you're feeling and only YOU know what you want to do with those feelings.
Take it one day at a time dear friend. Life is unpredictable at most. (Hugs)Indigo
Hope you have the patience to really see if this will work, it takes time to build the real comfort levels it takes to be a couple, and the trials and tribulations are part of the building process.
Always eloquent, even in your sadness. Most of the music I listen to is sad. I hope you can work it out! Take care...
Obstacles can be seen as a stumbling block or a stepping stone. Sad songs work for a while. But I wash my face, put on happy music, pull out my dance sneakers and start dancing.
Mark, the first time my heart was broken I listened to "Teach Me Tonight" a hundred times until I was healed. Subsequent heart breaks have been handled more intelligently. As the old saying goes "the best cure is the next bus out of town." That's a mental bus of course. The present becomes ths past in a split second. The past is always brighter or darker than we remember it. Making the future is the best use of the present, I think.
D
Yeah, I tend to listen to sad music, too. It lets me get it out all at once. Then I listen to angry music. LOL L&R, Beth
there is music besides angry music???
adjusting to being a part of a 'we' is never easy, tread lightly and find your comfortable place with your lady.
hope you are not about to get the hammer from the snow gods in the sky. all other reports from the eastern seaboard point to a significant snow event that might rival the blizzard of '03.
take care
xxalainaxx
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