Monday, November 23, 2009



Trying to think of a 'happy place' while I stumble around one of the more difficult to navigate places I have ever been ... not like I didn't know that already, before I arrived. It is harder than I thought. Harder than I anticipated as well as a few surprises that are not only unexpected but WAY more complex that I could have ever imagined anything as to being.

Recalling my boxing experiences usually makes me smile, even when I think of the fights that I lost. But I don't feel like wondering about what happened when I was up here and in Baltimore, even though I had a neater time in Charm City than I did ... anyway, so I stopped thinking about that stuff.

I can't find the words to describe what I am feeling right now. Sure there are things that I am 'supposed' to do, and I will get to them before my day is done. Today is a work out day and I plan on doing an entry about what my workout consists of, soon.

But this is what I've talked about earlier, when I mentioned getting up and going out. I have my directions and bus schedules, so I shouldn't have any problems with getting to where I want to go. Yet when I tell myself to get up and walk out the door ...

The SFC is wonderful and I do love her very much. Getting in bed with her is a treat. I still see her as I did when we were stationed together and think of her as the same 'it girl' that she was when we were working together.

There isn't a whole lot more to say. And I am not in the position of letting my troubles overwhelm me to the point of saying 'why me?' and to continue to wish them away. Have do something to get somewhere ... anywhere. So I am heading out the door.




Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Sounds like you need to get into a routine, and soon. One step at a time, little by little. One day at a time friend.

That corgi :) said...

I agree with what Ken said, Mark; you need to get into a routine and have a daily purpose to get out and about. But glad you are trying to get out and I know SFC is helping you as much as she can.

hope you guys have some great Thanksgiving plans :)


Beth said...

Mark....I feel ya boy. You're doing the right thing...getting out, slowly but surely. its hard sometimes....but you can do it.

Have a great Thanksgiving MArk..I'll be thinking about you.

Cathy said...

You're in love, need more? Enjoy the Holiday!

Indigo said...

It's like my last post. You change what you can and live with what you can't. At the end of the day "you" decide what moments are worth keeping and which you need to let go of.

Thinking of you dear friend and wishing you and the SFC a wonderous Thanksgiving! And remember sometimes, we don't need to search far to find what we're looking for, it's often closer than you knew. (Hugs)Indigo