Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I HAVEN'T SPOKE ABOUT IT ENOUGH

The SFC has been totally and completely wonderful to be around. All the running around and loose threads that have been dangling about and getting snagged, she has been rightthere getting them untangled. She has been as the kids once used to say, 'all that and a bag o' chips!'

Since we met right out of high school, the ideal of wishing that all my friends, in our case from our old unit, could see us applies quite accurately. I keep imagining that there would be a lot of jealous cats eyeballing me... but at the same time, it would be like an open secret being confirmed, everyone seeing us together.

EXPLOSIONS

The other day I was doing some 'excavating' on a blog, you know, digging up on entries that have been old and gone for a few days and came upon this one by Huckadoll. It was very noticeable for me because she mentions a song and a band... and now that most of y'all have been briefed on my association of life and music, when I saw that she was speaking on 'The Birth And Death Of The Day', her entry had my rapt attention.

Bands like this and Mogwai (there are a couple of others who are escaping me at this moment) are called 'post rock', which is another one of the added descriptions to dillute people from coming together and bringing their enjoyment of something good together. Cause see, I am thinking if you can dig the band Spiritualized, then you could find something here with 'Explosions', just as I make the jump from Prodigy to Cinematic Orchestra. It is all good, and I do mean that it is all good.

Reading her entry, what this song represents to her stood out most of all:
"...it’s all about Explosions in the Sky ‘Birth and Death of a Day‘ – which I believe is the most inspiring musical creation in the history of music … oh my GOD, this song and video are so good that my mind wants to explode in pleasure after I do something wild like grow wings and fly around the world sprinkling golden fairy dust while kissing millions of cheeks and delivering taser shots of love … it’s seriously so inspiring and gorgeous … a reminder of why I’m alive … to experience beautiful things like this."

Because as true as it is for her and for me as well, there is something else in it that makes it appropriate for 'other things' in my mind. I think that it begins with the different types of footage that the music is set to. For her, the song is set to the wonderful clips from the movie 'Koyaansqatsi'.

For me, mine is a piece of concert footage from a EITS show in Seattle that the person who shot the film describes as 'epic'. Because as beautiful as the song is, and as much as it makes my spirit want to ascend to the heavens and into space, it also makes me feel other things.

Watching the band play and seeing how agonized they are creating such sonic pleasure, reminds me of how much effort and work goes into making something come true. And how disappointing it can be when after all that effort, you fall short of your mark. I think the boys in the band meant it like that ... otherwise they wouldn't have titled it 'The Birth And Death of the Day'.

SEE, IT'S THE 'DEATH' PART

I am not a morbid cat nor a negative one, either. Knowing what it is you are up against and still being willing to face it, is some kind of a sign of character. What kind, I am not sure. Sorta want to say it is a good sign though.

To me, that you have to deal with the 'death' of things so that you can enjoy the 'birth' allows one to endure those things that make them stare blankly into space and wonder what is happening. For instance when my boxing career 'died', I was comfortable with what happened. Gave a good whack at it and it didn't happen. I know there were things that 'could have been, should have been', that made a difference. Yet I couldn't bring myself to put any more than that to them, because of the common denominator in all of them - me.

AND I KNOW THAT, MAN!

There have been moments that are indelible in my mind that haven't been forgotten and have had a major impact on my life. And finally, I have come to a point where I have to enact 'imperial thinking' and make decsions based on what I ultimately think is best, no matter what.

Making excuses for what happened that didn't go my way, the things that I want to say that I didn't deserve to have happen to me, is something that I decided as a young adult NOT to do. Otherwise, I could NOT have dealt with things that did happen to me, that immaturity and inexperience didn't have me prepared for.

But when I was kid and didn't know better, I do think I was entitled to all the hopes and dreams that I had. And I didn't have too bad a childhood and even admit that I could have prolly been a better son. Failing at that, I did have enough to set my sights on becoming a better man, though I didn't have any idea of what a better man was.

What everything adds up to for me is, I actually never asked myself 'what if'. Never had reason to, because I moved on and kept getting opportunities to be something. So what is the 'death of the day' really about?

It makes me feel a bit down, not having an answer for that. The song to me sounds like the 'raging against the light', the line made immortal by Dylan Thomas. Maybe that is what it is about. But when I think of people who 'rage against the dying of the light', I think about cats like 'the old man in the club' or a wanna-be cougar in her epically pathetic prowl for a young cat.

Me, I prefer Frost's 'Road' and being able to take a path where few have attempted to walk. That 'raging' stuff is good for short bursts, but not over an extended period.

Perhaps I am making myself overwrought over ... nah, I am not. This is for real and not going anywhere.

5 comments:

That corgi :) said...

Happy Thanksgiving Mark and SFC!! I'm glad that SFC's been with you Mark 100% of the way as you begin your new journey/life with her :)

betty

Myra said...

I am so glad you found each other...again! With all that has transpired in your life, you own your mistakes, as well as embrace the oppportunities that have come your way. You refuse to stay in the "woe is me" victim role. That is the main reason you are where you are now...you've moved upward and onward...thats really all you can do.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Hope you two had a great Thanksgiving. You are in a good place :o)

Huckdoll said...

Loved reading your take on the song. It's just one seriously fantastic creation that inspires greatness. I love listening to it on the speakers loud on a weekend morning. Also love You're Hand in Mine - I watched Friday Night Lights and discovered EITS there. Have been in love ever since.

Thanks for the shout-out :)

Huckdoll said...

And sorry for being 6 days late on this one! So busy trying to grow wings and such haha :D