HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYED THE HOLIDAY!
It was a nice, calm one in these parts. Didn't do too much of anything, which can be a good thing. I have always been one that has felt that the appreciation of not having a hectic holiday gets a short shrift.
Haven't been bothering with the news too much, as I have had to try to concentrate and deal with my inner 'James at 16' and work my way out of whatever I am in.
YOU DO IT
I want everyone who have left 'can do comments', to know that I do appreciate their words. I do take them to heart and reflect upon them when I face different challenges. But man, I am tired, tired, tired.
There hasn't been too much of 'when it's gonna happen for me', talk from me. More than once, I have had the chance make my life happen. Each time that I want to feel down about how things have ended up, I can't escape what decision I made that made the difference.
For someone who has been so irresponsible, I feel the weight of being responsible for a lot of stuff. And some of it, perhaps I shouldn't have to carry that weight. Yet when it comes to saying, 'because of ...', the words catch in my throat.
Had I simply done what I felt that I should have done ... sorry, if I am talking in circles, but it feels like I am 'driving straight' to me. 'Keeping my eyes on the road' is a personal issue that I hoped to avoid. For some odd reason, I don't think that I have always kept myself 'first' in my life.
Figuring out where I wanted to go from the 'provencial town I jogged 'round' to getting out west took a lot of time and effort. To me, it wasn't random. It was a with a purpose.
I don't think I will revisit this subject until I know what I am going to do.