Thursday, April 30, 2009



I had been in that house before, sat at that table and had a similar conversation with a girls parental figure. It wasn't her Mom, because she had passed, but her older sister who was in her mid-thirties. Can't remember the details, but it was a big, neat house over in the university district near Detroit Mercy.

They were a little stuck up ... everyone in their family made their money keeping their hands clean and because someone else somewhere thought they were smart. The home I lived in over in the 48219 was purchased with Chrysler Mound Plant money.

And as I recall, the money used was still green, as green as theirs, right?

Anywho, my Mom would meet this girls family at a high school production of 'Sweeney Todd' ... and that was the movie for the day on Monday. This girl, was in the production, as the female lead.

So I had a dream about my first love. The lesson? Eating sausage and spanish rice late at night, not so good of an idea!!


I would take leave of Mookie an' 'em a year ago, the first week of May. I decided to make it 'June', so that I would be doing something with the movement of the calendar, rather than trying to just 'do something' out of time.

Another aspect of my 'dream' that I will look a little further into is the 'May - December' part to it. I don't have an problem with potentially dating someone in my age group, but believe me when I tell you this, they are as silly as they ever was in their 20's. In some ways, it is more tragic. As I said the options for some are to continue on the path of being single and having failed relationships, or steep in the bitterness of not measuring up to the level they have affixed their own contentment.

So it has been a year, and I feel fine. Things could have been a little better, but overall, things have gone swimmingly well. There have been bumps, not unlike the 'bump' I feel that I hit yesterday. But nothing to really be of any concern.

Over the weekend, I read a story about this cat who was in a car accident. He suffered some trauma to his brain, and he talked about how he has to fight to keep his balance, his co-ordination. Each step is one that he has to be 'in tune' with. It was the first time I can remember being able to identify that way with someone.

That this kid ran the Boston Marathon, was inspiring for me. As I am getting back into another 'session' of training, I am going to take it as an eight week 'training camp', as if I was going to fight a 10 round fight. AKA mentioned that she would like to try getting in condition (getting into shape doesn't sound right ... we all have a shape!) and losing a few pounds.

My thing is, will she actually do it?

I wouldn't mind helping someone with establishing a conditioning program, in getting fit, but it has to be a priority. The stuff that people let interfere with training, really shouldn't. Whether it is a TV show or helping children with homework, there is always time to do something to cut weight and get stronger.

Watching what you eat doesn't take time. Revamping your diet, eating when on a schedule doesn't take time. What it does take is, effort. Same for the toning aspect of it. I mean, keeping up with a television show isn't as important as doing something for yourself. The television show isn't real. You are.

She has mentioned this before, in our first relationship incarnation as well as our current one. It makes me uncomfortable, because it ties in directly to stuff I don't care for about her, stuff I don't like about other 'satellites' in her life. And I don't want to go into all that, because I think that is stuff for her to figure out.

Anyway, the reason that getting into condition matters to me, is because I am otherwise on schedule with that, and with getting my life in order.

The line that I closed my last entry with, was meant to lead into what I am looking forward to ... I am going to go thru my thoughts on that, and my issue with AKA, and how it relates to how she feels about me.


Beth said...

You seem to feel badly about something and feel you hit a bump in the road. Whatever it is, I hope that today is a better day. :) Hugs, Beth

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