RULES TO LIVE BY

SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY


That is what Thoreau said. I always thought it was easy for him to have said such a thing, being from a well off family. I often regarded him as the yuppie-hybrid liberal, who whines about the hole in the ozone, or whatever it is that is 'of the moment', but don't mind who is landscaping their yard and how they came to this country to work for so little, or bother with why their nanny is so inexpensive.



But it makes a better header. I much prefer what Einstein said regarding simplicity. And that is where I get into my next rule, and consider them all 'gender neutral', though I will quote them as I found them.


Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. ~Albert Einstein



I think I have 'misremembered' that quote in previous entries. I went out and got it from a web page. I wanted to know why something that on the face was not difficult, ended up becoming complex? Einstein's words, help me remember that it doesn't have to be that difficult, and sometimes when you are left with something, that it is indeed all there is.

Two current cases that are open ... Tee Jay and the Fly Skimmie are examples of this. First, negative.

What it was that had the Skimmie and me at odds, something that while relevant to the time and the period, was something that could have been overcome, easily. But because we actually know one another so well, it was something that was oversimplified, both individual issues. And as long as we held on to our micromanaged ideals, we weren't going to ever overcome them. Though I didn't get all deep in rebuttal as far as what she was sore at me over, I decided to keep what I had against her, because they were so closely related, that a small step either way, could have made the difference.

The problem was we were sooo familiar with each other, that when we got out of bounds, we had no reason to have THOUGHT we were out of bounds. And that we got her issue out in the open, I feel that it is better that I keep my now small discomfort to myself. Because the reason that I was bothered, to what it made me feel, it is of small consequence now. There is more upside to me 'getting over it' and going forward with our friendship.

On the other side, we have Tee Jay. One of the reasons I even started on this revisiting of past loves, was to find a reason to keep her in the 'active file'. It is something that is new to me as a concept, and therefore, eligible under the 'doing something different' clause.

Began with Mookie ... so now, with Tee Jay allegedly single and available, I thought this would be my opportunity to see if we could rekindle our relationship. Things began promising, a couple of nice phone calls, and a nice date. We chatted some more, then came January, when she didn't return my phone calls. Yikes! You would have thought she would have called out of simple curiosity, to just say 'hello', much less about a Valentine's date. But she hasn't, and I WON'T. To do so would be in violation of the following rule.

If in the affairs of the everyday- the TRIFLES of life ... a man is inconsiderate and seeks only what is advantageous or convenient to himself, to the prejudice of other's rights; if he appropriates to himself that which belongs to all alike, you may be sure there is no justice in his heart, and that he would be a scoundrel on a wholesale scale, only that law and compulsion bind his hands." - Arthur Schopanuer.

OBSERVANCE AND APPLICATION.

In this 'rule', I have highlighted the word 'trifles'. Because it is in the 'everyday affairs', that I find her at fault. First, there should be reason enough for her to want to call ME as well, should there not? I have been home since May, and it would be pushing it to say she has called me more than a handful of times, to simply say 'hello'.

There is nothing that says she cannot call someone who is 'her friend', which I thought at the very least we were. That is easy enough to do, but that would be the 'too simple' explination. In the 'boy chase girl' realm of relationships, it is still the man who is supposed to be the pursuer. That is fine, so I have called her, and while we had good conversation, I didn't think there was anything to either get excited over or to be dismissive of the entire pursuit.

One of the important factors in considering this dating concept, is that I wanted someone who was 'acclimated' to who I am trying to be, and how I would like to do things. I felt this would be important when this was developed. And here is why.

I have my insecurities. Not returning my phone calls sits right on top of a major fault line. The reason for that is, it is something that is EASY TO DO. Call and say, whatever you need to say. Decline my advance. Tell me you aren't busy ... even the ol' 'I gotta wash my hair' is better than this. "Ignorance is the entombment of the unworthy in their own nothingness."

*clucks tongue* Alrighty then. You may not have had to call me, but when you don't return calls, it says only ONE THING. Maybe not to the degree of Schopanauer, but I do have something to say about your prescence in my life ...

I DON'T CARE

Language is important to me. I read a journal recently, maybe it was DB's 'Vagabond Journeys', I am not sure, or perhaps Nutwood Junction, that spoke about the importance of words, and the right words for the right expression.

When I say that 'I don't care', that is what it means. It means that from the instant the last syllable reaches your ears, what ever it is, what ever the topic, it means absolutely nothing to me, and if it is advice, then I accept all consequences for ignoring it.

Have I had to run into a former flame with their new love, happy, while I am holding a drink and standing alone ..? Sure, and I can be happy for them, because I really don't care what is going on with them, I have turned my attention to what has my attention ... worrying about someone who has now proven conclusively that 'they are who I thought they were', in the words of Dennis Green, is enough. To allow them a relavance in my thoughts, is to, as Dennis put it, '... let 'em off the hook.'

I have more colorful words for things PAST 'I don't care', but usually that is enough. I don't worry if it makes me 'a kind of person', because of the '... is a scoundrel ...' part of what Schopanauer said. Once someone has shown you, conclusively what they are about, and are revealed to you, then if they remain in your life, or still maintain the same status, then when they 'appropriate' again like the person 'who were what you thought they were', ask Jerome or somebody to bring you a mirror ...

... so you will know who to blame.