Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Because calling them "Suggestions to Live By" ..

RULES TO LIVE BY

... the impact would not have been the same.

What is it to finally become tired of following the same failed path, a path that despite the disappointment and heartbreak you encounter, you still go down?

That is why I am concerned about feeling sorry for myself about anything. While there is a place for want, I don't think it should be so great that it exceeds a person's responsibility for achieving what it is they want. Otherwise it is an empty desire, a promise destined to go unfulfilled.

I don't know if that is being hard on myself. How could that be any harder than going out and doing the same dumb crap that is going to lead to the same end, over and again? That is hard to me.

PATTERNS

We all have them. Life occurs in one. While it remains beyond us to grasp it in its entirety, I don't think we are supposed to, anyway. Try to understand what you are supposed to understand, savvy? "To find one's destiny is a person's only obligation." - Paulo Cohelo (and yes, I have read 'The Alchemist'!). When the hood folk talk about 'let you do you', I think they mean this. But it works for the person saying it as well as the object.

I sat down and got 'off the wheel' and watched it spin for a bit without me. And I begin to see my 'what's what', or enough of it to find out what I wanted out of life, and what I was going to offer in exchange to get it. One of the first things that had to go, was that I wasn't going to help life out by doing the wrong things. Life 'piles on' when you start doing the stupid, the thoughtless, the incorrect. That is why one of the 'rules' contains the line, "... it is important to choose men on whom we can rely on and to put aside all other considerations."

Honestly, had I been one of those kinds of 'men'? What did I think it took to be that kind of person, and did I honestly think I could find those qualities in me? One way to for me to find out, was to find the guide to determine how I would go about it.

ALWAYS DO LIKEWISE

Not in a particular order, but what is first may as well be. 'Answer questions on what's best, never what's easy.' When I came up with my reasons for being where I didn't want to be, that was the first thing that leaped out at me. Had I worked as hard as I could have at anything? Or did I work as hard as I felt as necessary to get 'some success'? Being willing to go the hard way, didn't mean anything if you weren't going to commit to it.

When I have my 'hurts' from things, it is because I wonder if I had done enough, if I pushed myself far or hard enough to make things a go. With Mookie, I believe that I did. Same with my ex. With Sandie, not so much ...

... with the Fly Skimmie, after our talk, I told her that part of what maybe kept us apart, is that we actually WERE close, and our differences were on such a primal level, that we actually didn't know what it was we were 'getting' from each other, you know? The issue that I had with her, maybe had she reached out and said what told me at the brunch, who knows? When I heard her part, I was like stunned, because had she managed to tell meback then ... or I managed to stretch out one more time ...

THE MINUTE WE BEGIN CARRYING OUT OUR DECISIONS ...

... a thousand doubts arise about the danger which might develop if we have been seriously mistaken in our plan..." I tend to mention that I have had no reason to change my mind on going to Nebraska, in respect to this rule here. 'A feeling of uneasiness, which often takes hold of a person about to perform something great, will take possession of us, and from this uneasiness to indecision, and from there to half measures ...'.

Even with the good vibe I got from the Skimmie, just like when I initially got good vibes from Tee Jay, it does NOT alter the planning I am doing. Trying to get Sandie to help me figure out where I should stay and when I should come for my away trip (either early April or late May).

One of the things I believe in, is winning the internal battle before you fight the 'outside' battles. Getting the self confidence, and then taking the time to plan out what you need to do and 'practice' before you have to execute. Imagine how much that helped Capt. Sullenberger, with all his hours of flying, in all kinds of weather, not to mention all the experience he had in flying in different air craft and the preparation for just the situation he found himself in.

For my 'new life's objectives', I feel that I am as 'qualified' to go after and successfully attain my goals, in spite of the obstacles. This is why I am going over my 'Rules', to make certain that I keep the internal aspect on point, because it is the one who overcomes his desires that can overcome their obstacles.

At least that seems how it works to me.

To that end, I will prolly be going over them, because there really isn't much going on here, and I have to keep the good things in my head, and stay on focus.

TODAY'S VIDEO

Which ideally should have been played as you read this, is just cool. I like the band Of Montreal, reminds me of the prog rock of the 80's. Really enjoy the homemade videos a lot, because I see and feel them so much ... like I actually know the kids and see them at Starbuck's on Main in Royal Oak or run into them at the Palladium in B'ham ...

Hope everyone is having as good a day as I had, am having, and will have tomorrow! (see, it is on my calendar ... 'to do' schedule: have a good day February 11th!)

4 comments:

Beth said...

I really like that song!!

Sounds like you are still "on plan." Yay!

Ken Riches said...

Internal rules to live by, excellent :o)

Lisa said...

Mark, those are great rules, Hugs Lisa

Sage Ravenwood said...

As to why do some people continue to march down the same path - I think it's because at some point they want to change the rules and get it right just once.

Sounds like you have a directive and a gameplan in place. Then again I always thought you did. (Hugs)Indigo