BUT FIRST, A WORD ABOUT TODAY
Scheduled a 'punishment run' for today, but given the emotional squall from being upset with AKA, I wasn't sure if I was up for it. Had different objectives for the day, so I dilly-dallied a bit, then finally got it in gear.
Running set the endorphins loose, so though I labored a bit, I was able to get into it. Then passing two cats at a bus stop, one of them jumped up to catch my attention. I turned and it was a cat who I grew up with, who lived across the street! As soon as I stopped and look, his name jumped into my mind!
He turned to his friend, and joked that "I was trying to act like I did not know who he was." I said, "How you going to play me, when I called you by your full name!"
I stopped and we chatted until his bus came. One thing that I have really liked about meeting cats from back in the day, when they talk about my boxing, they never mention the big fight I lost, but all the tough wins, and hard fights that I fought. No one ever brings up the 'other fights'.
Thinking back on how I almost was going to let the day go by, I was glad that I did, if all that happened was my running into my old friend. That was worth all the effort, getting out and going ahead with my day.
Oh, I got ALL of my goals attended. Oh, and UNC claimed a signature win today!
"We cannot take this uncertainty too seriously, and it is important to be prepared for it from the beginning."
Every now and again, I 'bug' Nebraska about my coming out her way. And admittedly it is a little bit far out to be worrying about it. There is so much that can happen between now and then. But I have been telling myself that THIS is where I was headed since March of this year. My away trip there will put to rest many of my concerns.
In life, many of what causes uncertainty in people comes from external sources. Often, we don't know how hair brained, how silly or just plain stupid is, until we let our intentions out. Then we get meek, and fret over all the things that others say is 'wrong' with our desires, our passions.
So in the preparations part, find out who has judgements that you can feel secure in, values that you share and a confidence that you trust, IMPLICITLY. You can take counsel from them, and consider what they say about your hopes. But since it is in the planning stages, you can make adjustments as needed without losing sight of your goal.
It doesn't bother me, for example, that she may be exasperated at some of the questions I have for her. I am just as exasperated at how certain areas that I speak about her city, are to her 'rough'. Right. And they grow petunias around ol' Denby High ... oh, I live on the west side, so perhaps I should give a shout to the fine, fine neighborhoods around Cody and Redford High. Those place AREN'T even rough, but that is because I have become sensitized to it. You gentle reader, would perhaps be of a different mind.
There is a blogger that is out here and she is a teacher somewhere around here, and she sometimes make a 'Jenny count' when she leaves in the morning. Me, I just say 'hey' to them on my run ... they do what they do and when I see them in the afternoon during their 'down' time, I chat with them, to give them a sense of being a normal person.
Anywho, the uncertainty is there, and it is a real thing. So I address my concerns, because when time comes for action, YOU ACT. Now is the time to ask what's what, and when the time comes, all you have to do, is what you have to do. Period.
Still haven't processed that mess with AKA, and since she taken a path that leads to irrelevancy in my life ... well, WHO CARES?