THE CODEFIED LIFE XII

TACTICAL

“Many of the things you can count, don't count. Many of the things you can't count really count.”

In researching the above quote, it has been attributed most frequently to Albert Einstein and I am going to roll with that.  I felt that by measuring and identifying the qualities of personal interaction and relationships, I could avoid many of the pitfalls of contradiction that others seem to fear admitting to.

The pursuit of more for the sake of more has never really intrigued me.  In the “ESPN Sportscenter Highlight” of my life, I felt that it was my lack of desire, that burning engine, that has kept me from achieving more in my life.  But even as I pursued my life, I knew that having the most or the best of anything never had any appeal to me. The people for who found meaning in having all that was available to everyone as though they were divinely entitled to everything, they never seemed happy.  I think about Michael Jordan, whose persona in his retirement has changed as he has demonstrated a churlishness that was always present but hidden by the vast public relations apparatus that built “Air Jordan” up and packaged him to the public.

One  of  the  incongruities  of  the Einstein quote is that most of the things that can be  enumerated actually DO count, often their value comes at the expense of the things that can’t be counted.  My ex-wife, who was concerned with the materiel and logistics of our lives, did not fully comprehend, IMO, how the value of the things that you can’t count or place a value judgment on, does mean more than the “things” that she believe had value.  Her perception of my boxing career, for example, did not account for the low-level grinding at the very beginning, the hours on the road  to nowhere and $400 fight purses that did not cover the trip and money lost from missing work.  I could break down example of specific episodes but it always was summed up by her lack of faith in me.  What baffled me was … well, it is one of the more baffling things that I have had with women since I have discontinued the coordination of my intersexual affairs via the “run and shoot” philosophy.

Anywho… maybe the things that count don’t matter… but you should count try to count things anyway, because analysis reveals the patterns as to “why” things are happening.  You count punches in a boxing match and collate them into various categories and from those numbers it is possible to discern the patterns that leads to victory.  It would be observations like this as I repeated behaviors throughout my life that led me to what I have called my “Rules To Live By” and to live a “Quantified Life”.  I decided that I should put numbers to work for me and make very crude predictive models that works on my local, indefensibly small scale, and live a noble and worthy life.

THE DECISION-MAKING FLOW CHART

I actually tried to list my rules in an order but I found myself saying, “this should be higher” after making the choice to adopt a rule into my belief system.  So I simply made a list of rules, using the different quotes that came from the material that I had read or had come across and frequently found myself repeating as wisdom.  Unfortunately, this was often after I had repeated a mistake that I knew was an error before I even begun the endeavor.  I was able to take full control of myself and well-being, and this was shortly after the debut of the Carolina Women. But before I could examine the world through the miscellany of thought, I had to first be sure that I could apply them to myself and qualify as “worthy” of my own ideals.

As I said, trying to put them in an order of importance was a bigger distraction than it was trying to create my philosophy.  But the two that were singled out by Thomas, could themselves be all that a person would need live a better, more meaningful life.

"If you fix your eyes upon details and neglect important things, your spirit will become bewildered, and victory will escape you."     

I mentioned that there are some rules that on the face may contradict one another.  But I never find the juxtaposition, and if anything, I think that like all the things we can count, sometimes it is the things that should be counted but weren’t, that matters the most.  This item to me is for when you are actually engaged in the activity or pursuit you are after.  Once you have decided to make something your goal, whether it is getting an education for a better job, losing weight for whatever reason, improving your relationships, you can’t be worried about all the things that you didn’t account for.  You have to have complete faith in the process that you have chosen and your ability to achieve the ends by your own means.  In fact, rules nos. 13-15 would give a deeper explanation as to why worry is what undoes many plans of the wanting.

The other rule, number 20, is one that has always been a part of my character.  I can never picture myself ever allowing the sadness of another drift into my life.  F*ck that… and that is what makes the “Bizzaro thinking” that many confused souls believe as profound stand out in the light of inspection as idiocy.

“You can die from someone else’s misery...emotional states are as infectious as

             diseases.”

Most of my anger was not at broad groups (though I can understand if occasionally it seemed that way!)… that was one way for me to diffuse the emotions that I was feeling living with people who did not possess the ability to do much better than living a “subsistence life”, doing just enough to get to the next day. I can’t submit to that kind of living… thinking so small and narrow… I mean, I guess it is going to happen, inevitably when boxing really catches up to me.  But I am going to give it a run and I can’t imagine doing that when paired with someone who thinks small and has limited vision.

Anywho… I think that I have rambled enough… and to answer, partly at least, to me love is duty, fidelity, and commitment.  More on that later, man..! (I can dig it..!)