SO YOU KNOW THAT I GOT CABLE TO
WATCH THE ALABAMA-MICHIGAN GAME…
There are essentially three
new additions to what I call “birthday season”.
Before, the only dates that I had to worry about were mine, my
step-daughters, her Mom’s, mine, and Mookie Dee’s. Sprinkle liberally with KT’s,
and there you go!! But with adding the Princess and her three young men who are
all in August (so you can imagine what some of her Christmases have been like: 0)) means
that this time of year will be filled with celebration as summer ends.
I think that I stopped
having “must see” sports, particularly surrounding football after the Art Schlichter-led
Ohio State Buckeyes lost to USC, 17 – 16.
So when it came to “must see” sporting events and an actual experience
where the possibility to be with someone and DOING something, I have never been
that a**hole guy who goes into his man cave and his life essentially “stops” to
watch the game. Well, even with getting
ready for what would be a spanking of the Maize and Blue, the Princess had a
small birthday celebration for her youngest and I got invited.
We went to Dave &Buster’s and the little ones had a good time.
I really admire how the simplest things bring such huge smiles from the
both of them and how tight that the three of them are. It makes me a little wistful for my childhood
and how I had hoped to establish the legendary bond that good siblings have
with one another.
Last week took the Princess
(yes, that is going to be it… why that one?? THAT is an
entry or TWO unto itself!!), and her boys out of town on a work-related
trip. Thursday, she simply could not
wait to come back to see me. The
feelings and sensations that I have gotten from her is part of the reason that
I want to exhume my intimate history. For
the past decade has been has been more of what I call “standardized
relationship history experience”, as for real, what those who have been
long-term followers have been a part of, are NOT what I have come to know about
relationships with women. In fact,
regarding me and my dealings with women, like Charlie Sheen, as an adult, I
would describe them as “winning”. It was
not until the confluence of tragedy, loss, and decline struck me in the early aught’s
that I figure that I needed to “pay my dues” when it came to dating. Most of my experiences that I draw on for my
harsher critiques of “sista girl’s” come with a grain of salt, as most of what
I know about “the crying game” came through apocryphal, not empirical,
evidences.
YOU
SEE, THOSE MAY BE THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO OTHER PEOPLE…
I was able to notice and
understand how related unhappiness was to making other’s happy with you was
inversely related to the happiness I had with myself. So, when it came to making other people like
me and want me to be a part of the crowd, I really could not care. The only time that I have a look on my face
that people may construe as being “flustered” is when I am concentrating. Usually, the asking of “what’s wrong” is all
it takes to scrape pass the gilt of surface frustration and get to the smile
that is powered by my beating heart.
Whenever I spend time
listening to people throughout this vessel’s trip through consciousness, I
really wonder about the level of commitment that they are willing to make in
order to actually improve their lives.
“Your name is ‘You’re
wanting’ “, Blake says as he leans into Levine.
“You can’t play in the man’s game you can’t close them, then go home and
tell your wife your troubles.” Do I
repeat the themes from certain places as a result of my injury?? Maybe, but what is better question to ask is
whether or not they make sense to me and if they bring about the desired
results. Anywho, when I watch the scene
and here those words, I think about how many people sit around and desire
things that they do absolutely nothing to earn, and then make excuses for why
they don’t have their desires as a part of their experience, as well as making
false justifications for why they do NOT have these things in their lives.
A-I-D-A is another big
thing rattling around in my mind as well.
A – attention, as in “Do I have your attention please.” That is something that is a fundamental part
of the beginning of a relationship. I
have sort of found as an indication of how “into you” a person is often
unmistakable. How do you stack up when
you are competing against other activities and people in the lives of the
person who is the object d’amour? That
is the example of I provided with the football game. Missing it has essentially rendered the
efforts to get cable connected a wasted enterprise, and yet, it has also served
to increase the value of my relationship.
But wait… there is MORE!!
See, among the things that
happen to other people is that they have no real sense of how important or
valued they are in their partner’s lives.
As I said, she was out of town with her boys on a work detail. I could see through her texts and in the
phone call she made to me that she could not WAIT to see me. It took something that she could absolutely
not get around to keep her from me this week, and of course, I wanted to be a part
of the birthday gig. Why? If for no other reason, because the BIRTHDAY
BOY wanted me to be a part of his celebration would be reason enough to miss
this week’s “Game of the Century.” I am
sure that if not next week, then soon enough, there will be another “Game of
the Century” that I would want to watch… and I would miss that too, if a
get-together popped up on the calendar.
Now, the “I” as in, “Are
you interested?” is a concept that a certain class of women takes pride in
misconstruing. The “it is f*ck or walk,”
is applicable to BOTH sides in relationships but only ONE side seems to realize
it. Historically, it has been the
female, being overtly coquettish, who has played “hard to get”, leading their
suitor’s on what for any number of them has to be an expedition into fail.
So, when it comes to “being interested”,
how do you show your interest? Since I
have mostly four and five stars reviews on the sexual satisfaction review on my
relationships, when Mookie Dee was doing “whatever”, that was absolutely the
clearest sign that she was no longer interested in a cat. I felt like I was a boat sailing along the
Mekong Delta in the ‘Nam or even the nameless driver distracting the wild bunch
in “The Road Warrior” in that relationship.
It would mark the 2nd time in my life I purposely put up with
someone else and their sh*tting on me… and the “purpose” part is huge. A lot of people put up with crap for the
reasoning of “doing something for a higher purpose.” And if you as someone who does that,
misleading yourself as to the “why” you are putting up with bullsh*t, I gots
absolutely NOTHING for you.
AND
WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING THAT DECISION…
So those of you who have been
along for the ride, the story of my starter marriage have been pretty well
sketched out. When the end came, as it
did with Mookie Dee, it wrapped up quickly.
I am not one to give
ultimatums but I do set my boundaries and limits. Once they have exceeded in a relationship,
the point of no return is just that. “Have
you made your decision for Christ!”
Yeah, my starter wife used to hit me.
But when I finally told her, after all the arguing and the promises (on both sides; she used to hit me but it was not like I did
not do my own dirt in the marriage), and the fact that HER dream of
being a solid family was at stake, she had one more time to hit me, and when
she did…
No, I know little of this “You
got one more time to…” concept that many people have in their lives. I am surprised when the next move that I make
elicits the shock that it does… because I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU what is going
to happen when the moment came. It is
called “a consequence” people are not familiar with it and I think a lot of
bullcrap relationships feed on this misunderstanding. This the finally "A" in AIDA, because it is the "Action" one takes that means the most at this point of the relationship.
So when that person,
boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or lover, goes to that point beyond which
you can stand, why are you still DEALING with them?? And that is why like with the captain of a
sinking vessel, when it goes down, YOU are the one that goes down with the relationship.
Ugh. Anywho, school begins tomorrow… and I feel a
little feisty. I am ready and into
character and even if I was not, I am goin’ anyway!!
5 comments:
"Anywho, school begins tomorrow… and I feel a little feisty. I am ready and into character and even if I was not, I am goin’ anyway!!"
that above kind of sums up my feelings about tomorrow.
xxalainaxx
Best of effort in the new school year and with Princess :o)
You never live by what you lack, but you are good about adjusting goals to realities. This school year will be releasing & maximizing for you...you've been going in that general direction..truly. ~Mary
Roll Tide!!!
Yay, school begins. For you and my son. =)
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