Monday, September 3, 2012



There are essentially three new additions to what I call “birthday season”.  Before, the only dates that I had to worry about were mine, my step-daughters, her Mom’s, mine, and Mookie Dee’s. Sprinkle liberally with KT’s, and there you go!! But with adding the Princess and her three young men who are all in August (so you can imagine what some of her Christmases have been like: 0)) means that this time of year will be filled with celebration as summer ends.

I think that I stopped having “must see” sports, particularly surrounding football after the Art Schlichter-led Ohio State Buckeyes lost to USC, 17 – 16.  So when it came to “must see” sporting events and an actual experience where the possibility to be with someone and DOING something, I have never been that a**hole guy who goes into his man cave and his life essentially “stops” to watch the game.  Well, even with getting ready for what would be a spanking of the Maize and Blue, the Princess had a small birthday celebration for her youngest and I got invited.

We went to Dave &Buster’s and the little ones had a good time.  I really admire how the simplest things bring such huge smiles from the both of them and how tight that the three of them are.  It makes me a little wistful for my childhood and how I had hoped to establish the legendary bond that good siblings have with one another. 

Last week took the Princess (yes, that is going to be it… why that one?? THAT is an entry or TWO unto itself!!), and her boys out of town on a work-related trip.  Thursday, she simply could not wait to come back to see me.  The feelings and sensations that I have gotten from her is part of the reason that I want to exhume my intimate history.  For the past decade has been has been more of what I call “standardized relationship history experience”, as for real, what those who have been long-term followers have been a part of, are NOT what I have come to know about relationships with women.  In fact, regarding me and my dealings with women, like Charlie Sheen, as an adult, I would describe them as “winning”.  It was not until the confluence of tragedy, loss, and decline struck me in the early aught’s that I figure that I needed to “pay my dues” when it came to dating.  Most of my experiences that I draw on for my harsher critiques of “sista girl’s” come with a grain of salt, as most of what I know about “the crying game” came through apocryphal, not empirical, evidences. 


I was able to notice and understand how related unhappiness was to making other’s happy with you was inversely related to the happiness I had with myself.  So, when it came to making other people like me and want me to be a part of the crowd, I really could not care.  The only time that I have a look on my face that people may construe as being “flustered” is when I am concentrating.  Usually, the asking of “what’s wrong” is all it takes to scrape pass the gilt of surface frustration and get to the smile that is powered by my beating heart.

Whenever I spend time listening to people throughout this vessel’s trip through consciousness, I really wonder about the level of commitment that they are willing to make in order to actually improve their lives.

“Your name is ‘You’re wanting’ “, Blake says as he leans into Levine.  “You can’t play in the man’s game you can’t close them, then go home and tell your wife your troubles.”  Do I repeat the themes from certain places as a result of my injury??  Maybe, but what is better question to ask is whether or not they make sense to me and if they bring about the desired results.  Anywho, when I watch the scene and here those words, I think about how many people sit around and desire things that they do absolutely nothing to earn, and then make excuses for why they don’t have their desires as a part of their experience, as well as making false justifications for why they do NOT have these things in their lives.

A-I-D-A is another big thing rattling around in my mind as well.  A – attention, as in “Do I have your attention please.”  That is something that is a fundamental part of the beginning of a relationship.  I have sort of found as an indication of how “into you” a person is often unmistakable.  How do you stack up when you are competing against other activities and people in the lives of the person who is the object d’amour?  That is the example of I provided with the football game.  Missing it has essentially rendered the efforts to get cable connected a wasted enterprise, and yet, it has also served to increase the value of my relationship.  But wait… there is MORE!!

See, among the things that happen to other people is that they have no real sense of how important or valued they are in their partner’s lives.  As I said, she was out of town with her boys on a work detail.  I could see through her texts and in the phone call she made to me that she could not WAIT to see me.  It took something that she could absolutely not get around to keep her from me this week, and of course, I wanted to be a part of the birthday gig.  Why?  If for no other reason, because the BIRTHDAY BOY wanted me to be a part of his celebration would be reason enough to miss this week’s “Game of the Century.”  I am sure that if not next week, then soon enough, there will be another “Game of the Century” that I would want to watch… and I would miss that too, if a get-together popped up on the calendar.

Now, the “I” as in, “Are you interested?” is a concept that a certain class of women takes pride in misconstruing.  The “it is f*ck or walk,” is applicable to BOTH sides in relationships but only ONE side seems to realize it.  Historically, it has been the female, being overtly coquettish, who has played “hard to get”, leading their suitor’s on what for any number of them has to be an expedition into fail.

So, when it comes to “being interested”, how do you show your interest?  Since I have mostly four and five stars reviews on the sexual satisfaction review on my relationships, when Mookie Dee was doing “whatever”, that was absolutely the clearest sign that she was no longer interested in a cat.  I felt like I was a boat sailing along the Mekong Delta in the ‘Nam or even the nameless driver distracting the wild bunch in “The Road Warrior” in that relationship.  It would mark the 2nd time in my life I purposely put up with someone else and their sh*tting on me… and the “purpose” part is huge.  A lot of people put up with crap for the reasoning of “doing something for a higher purpose.”  And if you as someone who does that, misleading yourself as to the “why” you are putting up with bullsh*t, I gots absolutely NOTHING for you.


So those of you who have been along for the ride, the story of my starter marriage have been pretty well sketched out.  When the end came, as it did with Mookie Dee, it wrapped up quickly.

I am not one to give ultimatums but I do set my boundaries and limits.  Once they have exceeded in a relationship, the point of no return is just that.  “Have you made your decision for Christ!”  Yeah, my starter wife used to hit me.  But when I finally told her, after all the arguing and the promises (on both sides; she used to hit me but it was not like I did not do my own dirt in the marriage), and the fact that HER dream of being a solid family was at stake, she had one more time to hit me, and when she did…

No, I know little of this “You got one more time to…” concept that many people have in their lives.  I am surprised when the next move that I make elicits the shock that it does… because I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU what is going to happen when the moment came.  It is called “a consequence” people are not familiar with it and I think a lot of bullcrap relationships feed on this misunderstanding.  This the finally "A" in AIDA, because it is the "Action" one takes that means the most at this point of the relationship.

So when that person, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or lover, goes to that point beyond which you can stand, why are you still DEALING with them??  And that is why like with the captain of a sinking vessel, when it goes down, YOU are the one that goes down with the relationship.

Ugh.  Anywho, school begins tomorrow… and I feel a little feisty.  I am ready and into character and even if I was not, I am goin’ anyway!!


mrs.missalaineus said...

"Anywho, school begins tomorrow… and I feel a little feisty. I am ready and into character and even if I was not, I am goin’ anyway!!"

that above kind of sums up my feelings about tomorrow.


Ken Riches said...

Best of effort in the new school year and with Princess :o)

FrankandMary said...

You never live by what you lack, but you are good about adjusting goals to realities. This school year will be releasing & maximizing for've been going in that general direction..truly. ~Mary

Reggie said...

Roll Tide!!!

Have Myelin? said...

Yay, school begins. For you and my son. =)