Wednesday, December 7, 2011



I just thought I would talk about being ‘irrepressibly happy’. It makes me think of the definition of a pessimist, who is an ‘optimist with experience’. Rather than letting the ‘experience’ be bad and by classifying it as ‘an experience’, then I could be an optimist with experience and still be ‘irrepressibly happy’. There isn’t a rule that said that said that experience had to be a bad one, is there?

My thing with my appreciation for Tim Tebow goes beyond my opinion that he doesn’t force his belief down anyone’s throat, but that he does not have that glazed-over ‘Stepford Christian’ look in his eyes whenever I have seen him speak. When he gave his speech after the 2008 game between Ole Miss and Florida, he did not seem any different to me than any other cat who was very passionate about football and that he was going to take full responsibility what goes on with the team and that did not happen until near the end of his speech.

It was never about him as it was about ‘the team’ (right Mike Singletary?). He never single out any segment of the team and by inserting himself in the promise, he announced what everyone on the football team already knew: Tim Tebow was the leader and wherever he was going to go, they were going to have to follow.

The speech also showed that he does have moments where he faces difficulty and disappointment that 'everyone faces' with the same kind of humility that he accepts his accolades and deals with his renown. Objectively, he is, to me at least, what I think makes for a good, maybe even great leader. I don’t let my subjective beliefs prevent me from acknowledging that someone ‘is what they are’. And I am more than a little uncomfortable with the idea that for him to be ‘right’ over what we disagree about that I may have to be annihilated, or at the very least converted, for me to live in ‘his world’. But whether it was on a football field or in a foxhole, he still is representative of the kind of leadership that I would be willing to follow. That being said…


Lessee… from about maybe 4 or 5 till maybe I was about 33, I was that ‘irrepressibly happy’ person, always in a good mood and with a smile either on my face or just about to be placed there. The last 10 years have been dicey for me to say the least, and I feel challenged on every level of my existence.

Normally I don’t find myself with a case of the winter blues, and this is a little unnerving now that they have appeared and we are still in the fall! I really only note the winter’s arrival with the fact that it means that daylight is going to begin to creep back into the world. That is what getting up in the o’dark for a lifetime will do to you… give you an appreciation for the few minutes each day sunrise comes closer to 6 am than it was a days before.

IRL, I am doing well. ‘She-who-is-still-unamed’ is still around, so there is that. Got an e-mail from her yesterday and I am like ‘cool’. When something definitive about that relationship I will have to call her SOMETHING.

While I cannot stress how welcomed the turn that communication between Nebraska and I has taken, I am still looking for something that is to me, at least, what pornography is to Potter Stewart. So that is that with my personal relationships.

I don’t think that if there was a unique (since Nebraska is truly special and the ‘still unnamed miss might be’ is still a candidate to be special, I figure that I can create a designation to how critical they are in my life at this moment) person in my life that things would be measurably better for me. Whatever difficulties that I have to overcome STILL would be there even if there was someone in my life that I felt comfortably calling on for anything (and I cannot stress enough how encompassing that ‘anything’ is, by implication, it does extend to all areas of my life). For instance I did ask Nebraska for a favor, to pick up some bread, milk and sugar because I had overlooked the purchase and it was nerve-wracking for me. These were items that I needed and I feel that when a person is being asked, there are two answers to that question – ‘yes’ or ‘no’. If there is any doubt to the importance of a request, then I immediately will enter a default answer of ‘no’ and go from there.

Maybe that is harsh and a little ‘whatever’, judging from the unsolicited feedback I have received over decades of this policy. But it is something that has been implemented and has worked out to my satisfaction throughout my life. So I guess I would have readers know exactly how the story goes..!


I try to keep my entries to around 1,000 words… occasionally I will lift the cap and clock in closer to 1500, but if something is going to run longer than that, then that would mean it is an “Indy, the fire is going out!”, and that situation is one that I hope to avoid at all costs!

But this trending I am on hopefully will explain and clarify why I observe my relationships with people the way that I do, and if there is any comments, and just maybe, dear reader, you and I will get into a dialogue about it. But for now, see you later (unless I see you first!).


That corgi :) said...

I appreciated reading your thoughts about Tim Tebow, Mark. Sorry about the "blues". I know it is hard when it is dark and dreary out with short days and cool weather. the good news is in two weeks will be the first day of winter and then we'll start gaining back light bit and bit every day. Something to look forward to!

hang in there!!!!


Jonthy, Alice the uppity white cat's babysitter said...

I just wanted to thank you for your comments to me yesterday. You are a compassionate friend and I always value your viewpoint about life's struggles. Thank you for hanging in there with me through my trials.

* Ashleigh * said...

You make this stranger smile :)

Glad there is communication between you and Nebraska, hope this bodes well for the future!

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Lovebabz said...

I always want what you want for yourself!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

This time of year is tough, especially when it gets dark so early. Hang in there.

Beth said...

I'm sorry to see that you're experiencing a winter funk. I tend to get a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder, too, and I have to really work to overcome it. Getting back into my workouts seems to be helping, but by February, I'll be a hot mess dying to get to summer!

For a little diversion, look up "doldrums" on Wikipedia. The term has an interesting origin, if you haven't read about it before!