Sunday, October 9, 2011



Even if I did not prefer plus-sized women this would be the reason it is hard for me to believe that there is anything wrong with Kirstie Alley. When she started to make money off of her weight, I was stunned at first because she did not look anything but good to me! If I was a psychologist I would try to find out how the American people fail (what I am calling) 'the first law of operational intelligence', because as many men and women who carry around many more pounds than they should, calling out an actress as ‘fat’ because she does not fit a standard that the majority of people not only are not close to but NEVER have been in their lives, is something that astounds me!


Yup, I watch a lot of You Tube. Sometimes I sit around and listen to the songs that I hear on the music channels via my cable subscription and other times I just surf around for different songs, nothing special. But I don’t know how or why I began to follow these two young ladies, Hayley from Australia and Whitney, who as far as I can tell, is bi-costal (she flits between Portlandia and NYC, if I am right about her).

Last year, I think, Hayley got a job performing in Hong Kong. She is an amazing talent and her cover of ‘Grenade’ by Bruno Mars has so much emotion that she doesn’t cover the song as much as she own it, and whether that is whether anyone agrees with me or not!

I think that the song (actually since I like Bruno Mars, I have always thought that…) the song describes some of what I went through in my most recent relationships. Anywho that is another post! I just want to get ‘HayHay’ some more views and maybe a few more fans for her videos. She had just put out a few more songs and you can go to her channel and check out even more of her original songs as well as her covers.

Whitney (or Whit, or maybe even Witified) is a super cool young lady who combines vlogging, skits and her original songs as well as covers in her videos, harkening back to the days of Carol Burnett and all the variety shows I watched when I was young. She is a raw talent and has barely scratched the surface of her entertainment skills, IMO. But that is easy for me to say, right? There are so many different factors involved that it takes more than being able to ‘do’ something to make it big…

Anywho, this song of hers ‘to some lost friends’ echoes feelings that I have had to carry with me throughout my life. Yeah, I have a strange relationship with ‘friends’ but there are some people who I miss in the conventional way that people are meant to ‘miss’ good friends and loved ones. I miss my ‘babies’, the twins, who I took wherever I went. I did the same with all of my sibs (I can honestly say that I was not one of those kids that was bothered by having to babysit his younger brother and sisters). I remember ‘missing’ them when I came home from the service and I did not recognize my ‘little’ brother, who had shot up to a towering 6’2 in the four years I was away in OD green!

I miss my roomie from college… he was one of the few, and I mean few (the only other one that comes to mind is a trainer I had while I boxed professionally) men that I felt comfortable talking without reservations to, no matter the subject matter. He has ‘grown’ but not in the way that the twins or my darling brother did. I think that he has truly ‘evolved’ and is on a completely different plane of existence. I wish that I could see him (he does visit home in Carolina regularly) because I would love to see the difference from being a young man in search of the man he was to become, now that he has found him.

Then I miss… lessee, how do I describe the third person that I miss? It is kind of awkward to talk about them because it is one of those ‘surface contradictions’ that people who cannot fathom anything beyond the visible level would see and then they’d say, “but I thought you were so – ‘blah, blah, blah’”, and toss out critical judgments out of condemnation. But that is the refuge of the self-righteous, shooting straight past other nuanced qualities like sensitivity and understanding, instead preferring to finger-point in hypocrisy.

AnyWHO… who IS this third person that I miss? It goes without saying that I miss my ‘blood’, my girls, my Mom and my darling brother, so they are always accounted for, so I can’t actually ‘miss’ them. No, this person is someone that is made out of the ether, the wisps of thoughts that I did not know that I had, somehow pulling themselves together to form an ideal, a prototype of who I would ‘want’ (all while without my knowing that I want someone).

This person isn’t just an imaginary someone… but neither are they ‘real’, at least not in the way that ‘real’ is to most people. Often, I don’t know what they look like or what kind of person they are until I ‘see’ them, with my inner ‘third eye pysche’. I don’t know how else to describe what goes on… the two great loves of my life (remember, I was given at LEAST two of those..!) were women who appeared in my life at a time in my life that I thought ‘this’ but it wasn’t related to ‘that’ and before you know it, BOOM (goes the dynamite!), we were together.

And it worked out. So fate, destiny, they both work for me. I am willing and brave enough to that them by the hand when they reach out, when they call to me (again, my recent history would inform you as to how I react to Destiny’s calling). I don’t hesitate (otherwise I’d have found a reason to wait until I thought I was more comfortable financially and spiritually to move here) when called upon, and I ‘wait’ for my calling patiently by doing what I am supposed to do, being determined in where I’ve decided to go.


* Ashleigh * said...

I think Kirstie Ally was thin while doing "Cheers" but that was an extreme struggle for her to maintain. I haven't seen a pic of her recently but I'll do a search for one. She lost more weight again right?

As for "lost friends", yeah I definitely have some of those. Mainly from college and while I do miss some of them, I can't say that they feel the same. So many are in the process of making babies that a friendship that is crumbling is the least thought on their minds.

I don't call them friends; I call them acquaintances.

That corgi :) said...

I think there is a difference with being plus size versus morbidly obese or that new term I've heard in my reports I type "super morbid". I think Kirstie Alley has struggled a lot with her weight, like Oprah, living up to images of what others want and perhaps might not have developed their only image of what they want (I have this fascinating story about Oprah I might share one day on my blog, its weird, I know and hard to believe but actually someone who goes to my current church works for Oprah, I know, weird...) Anyway, that's not my point, I digress as usual. I think we need to feel comfortable at our weight and make sure we aren't harming our bodies with whatever weight we are at, too high causes problems, too low of a weight causes problems. And what we need to do, regardless, is try to stay at the same weight and not bounce around. I think that's hard on the body.

Friends. I know what you are talking about, Mark. I have a few good ones from the past that I do think about and miss.

I also get your other point too. The one you can describe but not actually know, but will know when you see her.

I really liked this post, Mark, thanks for sharing your thoughts about friends :)

enjoy the day!


mrs. miss alaineus said...

i miss a lot of people, however i also understand the context of the things of now vs. the context of the things of the past may not permit us to be friends simply because we bonded because of situational ethics and events. i tried to facebook friend someone from the past that meant a lot to me and have not been answered yet which has kind of hurt my feelings.

shit if i made a jillion dollars a year and could afford to not have to work 80+ hours a week and had hours a day to work out plus someone to cook for me and monitor my diet i'd be thin too.

hollywood shows us a standard of living that is not practical to emulate. i choose to not listen to their messages. ps kirstie alley looks like she needs to eat a damn sandwich.


Lovebabz said...

I always have this sense that there is more than just esoteric blogging going on with you here. You share tings rather deeply, but in a very coded way. Perhaps that is my heightened intuitive self projecting. If I stay with thinking about this post I feel it more and more.

I get that sense of seeing...third eye kind of thing. I have just allowed myself to embrace that kind of knowing.

I will say that you make a great point about Kirstie Alley. Extreme Weight-loss and fat people have become entertainment, rather than motivating forces. I think folks believe that it is motivating to watch someone struggle with weight and then lose it all and celebrate as winners. We love to label folks as winners and losers.

Ok I have over stayed my welcome! Ha ha ha. See you soon!

It's Sunday there must be football on somewhere :) Gotta go!

Mizrepresent said...

What resounded with me here and what i must admit, is i miss that "someone" too. No, i probably have never met him, he's not in my past and yet he invades my thoughts and dreams like he has always been here. I go to sleep at night waiting and wanting to be near...i don't want to wake up, unless he's there. So my third eye is jumping like crazy...but i have no problem with that, in fact i'm just glad it's working. Good post Mark!

Toon said...

My issue with Kirstie Alley isn't her weight -- it's her batshit crazy scientology beliefs. It's like an even crazier version of creationism. said...

LOOOVED this post!
Thanks for the musical interludes, they are going into my Youtube favorites! Great stuff.

I have always found Kirstie Alley to be gorgeous, even when her weight went up.There is such an unrealistic obsession about weight in this country....of course, extra pounds do pose a health risk and people should strive for healthier eating habits, but there is a disconnect between the way that the average woman looks and the image in our heads that we are all supposed to look like the Olson twins. If Marilyn Monroe were a struggling actress in today's world, she would be cast in the "chubby friend" roles instead of being held up as a sex symbol. There are a lot of bigger women whom I think are just stunning the way they are, much the same as I think there are some older actresses out there that put many starlets to shame. Helen Mirren? SMOKIN'.
And I just loved what you said about your missed friend - "I wish that I could see him........because I would love to see the difference from being a young man in search of the man he was to become, now that he has found him" - WOW.
That was beautifully put.

Oh, and LOVE the re-design!

Have Myelin? said...

I think Kirstie looks great after her DWTS stint. WOWZIE!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

As I look back, there are a number of people I wish I could reconnect with. Being an introvert and loner has its price.