Wednesday, May 4, 2011



Watched as much as I could of the royal wedding last week and one of the things that really caught my attention was how well matched a couple Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge seem to be. I remember how I bad a couple that the Prince’s Mother and Father made as Lady Diana was so young and Prince Charles such a sour person and homely looking a fellow. But calling Catherine ‘a commoner’ seems to me to be a bit of a stretch. I mean, using the Butch Lewis corollary, Catherine’s family is a lot closer to being ‘royalty’ by the company they keep. Anywho…

The last few weeks has been … tiring. But that is just how it is, you know? I am grinding away at things and getting things in order. Between my appointments and going out and taking my assessment test at Metro Community College, I have been grinding away and getting things done. I will be able to take college level courses, no remedial nothing! I would have scored higher but I got confused with the instructions given by the computer giving the test. Doesn’t matter as much as the desired result was obtained!! Next week I meet with an academic advisor and prolly will meet with the people at vocational rehab about getting an employment plan together. When I close my eyes and dream, I can see all the pieces swirling around in the seas of my life, sitting there marked like so much jetsam waiting to be reclaimed.

When I was first diagnosed as having brain injury I sat down and told myself that my expectations did not have to change as much as how I go about achieving the goals that I have set before me. For instance, the constant pain that I am in, I don’t talk about that much nor do I go on about the fatigue that I often find myself dealing with, because it is, to me, just one more thing that comes with the ticket I am holding.


In speaking about the contirved ‘shortage of men’, I was actually being disingenuous. Men have a shorter life expectancy for a reason and the factors that contribute to this truth I would think contribute to the very real numbers that reflect to there being fewer men available to women seeking male partners. Senior communities are filled with women and one of the reasons that I think that HIV is growing among older folks is there is a desperation that leads to a recklessness when it comes to sex among those 55 and above.

Between being more likely to be born premature (and therefore more likely to die as an infant) to leading all the accidental and violent death charts as adolescents, there is definitely a natural culling of young men. Then there is the biological factor. One of the reasons that some women are attracted to the bad boy is the same reason women are drawn to powerful and rich older men. And that leave a wide gulf (and why the show ‘Glee’ has fallen out of my rotation for ‘The Hard Times of RJ Berger’) of available men who have spent their developing years almost being shunned. Out of all the crap about nerd chic in entertainment, the TV show ‘The Big Bang Theory’ does a pretty good job of what it is like for the ‘unconsidered’.

Being self-aware can be a curse as even at your most unconscious (paging Howard Wolowitz) because there is that insecurity eating away at you, because it is steeped in truth. Certain guys almost NEVER get a girl, as to getting THE girl, child please! How many people do YOU know that has won millions playing any permutation of a lottery? Thank you very, very much for your business, and please, come again soon!

Another MTV show that I like, ‘My Life As Liz’, has a character named Sully. Sully is the ‘C-in-C’ of her pack of male friends who she referred as her ‘nerd herd’. He had found a girl who he thought liked him as he was. She was into some key interests and he thought he had finally found … well, you know, someone to make him stop being hopelessly in love with his best friend, Liz. As it was, Sully made a production out of telling Liz how he loved her but finally, he has found someone else to focus on, this unlikely girl he met while in NYC, where Liz goes to school and is torn between two other cats that are deeply into her.


After Sully makes a big production out of professing his affection for Liz, he then releases her from any emotional liability. He then goes on to declare himself to the object of his affection, only to have her play the ‘oh, let’s be friend’ card. And this is where the shortage grows to a crisis.

The theory that I would proffer to explain why relationship scene resembles the oil crisis of the 70’s, is that now, cats like Sully grow up to become disillusioned and drop out of the entire scene. After being this stand up guy, at the end of the day he gets neither his long-time crush OR the girl who played upon the line of ambiguity. Whatever the case, it is my belief that these otherwise eligible cats are simply dropping out. That is why Jane McGonigal’s talk stayed with me. She explained why it seems that ‘gamers’ are slackers when it comes to achievement, and I think it can be used to explain why they (and men in general) don’t develop more socially. Out of this attitude, building for years and years, I came up with a question to encapsulate the mood of those who have stopped being a part of the grind, of guys like Sully. Women want someone to ask them out on a Friday night..? Then, ‘What is Sully’s {sic.-my} motivation?”

Don’t know if it makes sense to anyone who may read this, but it does to me.


Tawnya said...

I am proud of you for pursuing school!!! I am feeling very fatigued myself lately and I have no idea where it is coming from.

* Ashleigh * said...

Good job on your testing!! Good luck with the advisor; sometimes they are the ones with the mental handicap so go in prepared!

That corgi :) said...

agree with you about the match between Kate and Will; one can hope their marriage will do well!

Good for you Mark with school; it does seem like a great thing to do with lots of possibilities!! Hang in there with it!


Toon said...

WTG on the test and classes. We expect great things from you!

LceeL said...

Because it's never too late, Brother. Well done you, going after (pursuing) school.

As far as that whole "males dropping out" thing is concerned - let me give you just a little food for thought (not that you really need any - as it is, I think you have a tendency to over-think stuff): There's a reason, I think, that Asperger's Syndrome affects MANY more males than females - and it has to do with certain male traits that exist in all males. One of those traits is an inability to pick up on "signals".

I think many men drop out because they just don't understand and interpret the female properly. They don't recognize attraction, in females, when it manifests itself.

Maybe it's hormonal.

Lovebabz said...

There was doubt? Really? Congrats! You are already a scholar.

Have Myelin? said...

Wow, back to school? Good for you! My best friend (over 30 years) is a VR Supervisor and my kids father is a retired Voc Rehab counselor. A world I am well acquainted with! I'm happy for you.

I agree with you on Will and Kate. I saw a photo of all of them and one of the 3 year old flower girls was holding a $1 purple rubber worm supplied by Harry so she wouldn't get bored (those squishy ones)and it is utterly charming!

So unlike Queen Elizabeth and stuffy Charles.

What do you want to be when you grow up and get out of school? =)

Beth said...

Congrats on your successful testing! I know you'll do great. If you happen to take a Microbiology course, you know who to call! :) L&R!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Glad that things are slowly falling into place. School should be a great thing, keep at it.

Anonymous said...

I pretty much see you as a guy who will bushwhack a path, no matter what. ~Mary