Sunday, September 5, 2010

WHEN DARKNESS FALLS

ONE FOR THOSE WHO DON'T REMEMBER

At the top of the week if you had told me that I would be sitting here writing about how bad I feel, both mentally and physically, that I would be in the clutches of a 'blue meanie' of a migraine and with a poor outlook on the future, I would have scolded you at trying to jinx me and my 'swagger'.

Started this week off by trying to run everyday and lift weights right along with it. I made it to Thursday, which left me with one more weight lifting session on Saturday. I not only didn't lift on Saturday, but I have not even pretended that I was going to run on either Friday or Saturday.

Are there environmental triggers that have set this migraine off? Could have been. I was awakened a smidge earlier than I would have gotten up yesterday morning and I stayed out of sorts, traffic and noise in the house. But they alone are not the only things that lie at the root of my current condition.

Folks who have read my journal regularly know that I have alos been dealing with a bout of depression. While depression is not unfamiliar to many of us, for me, it is relatively new to me since my diagnosis of CBTI, and has been something that I had hoped to deal with by making my own space in the world.

Though I don't expect this to be a problem exclusive to me, the amount of time that these headaches linger trouble me as well. And this is where I figure the second possible trigger comes into play. While I reported with excitement that I recieved an offer of housing, when I told Nebraska, she got on me for not calling her as soon as I recieved it so we could have discussed what the next step was. Apparently, the unit I was offered isn't one of the developments she would have picked out for me.

More stuff for me to think about. Which is not what I want to be doing. Another problem that has come up is between me and the Friend of the Court, who have not sent the change of support order to the SSA. That is not going to be fun trying to get that straightened out. Especially since it could interfere with my intentions of leaving for Omaha in October.

Still, that is the least of my complications right now. Migraines make me feel small and vulnerable. Combined with my current mood, it means that I am very unstable and without options to seek relief in.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I definitely believe there are environmental triggers. Sudden bright lights and some strong smells (perfumes to be precise) triggers mine.
Maybe there could be combined factors added up to a triggering level? Just a thought.

Take care

Love
Daniel

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you're having hard times, physical and mental. One nice thing about growing older is the realization that "this too shall pass."

Although they don't rise to the level of "migraine," I know a lot of my headaches can be traced to noise, especially sudden, unexpected noises. Volume doesn't seem to matter, it's the unexpectedness that seems to bring them on.

Tawnya said...

You know I have migraines. I find that there are environmental, food, and weather triggers for me. As well as stress. Stress is a biggie for me. Feel better!

betty said...

I am so sorry Mark about the migraine; also sorry that it has been a rough week (season) for you dealing with this and that with your potential move, depression, etc. I hope there is light seen soon in all aspects of your life especially with feeling better from that headache

betty

Ken Riches said...

I hope today was better for you.

Her Side said...

Oh my. I've missed quite a bit. I suffer from migraines. If they're gonna hit, they always hit at the same time of the month. Clearly hormone triggers. If I catch it early, Excedrine Migraine is a miracle in a bottle.

Feel better!