UNSUCCESSFULLY TRYING TO THREAD THE NEEDLE

WHAT MAKES FOR THE IDEAS THAT ARE IN YOUR MIND?






Reading comics and science fiction as a kid, I ran across all sort of different ideas and thoughts that tugged my mind out of the trough where my many classmates, social peer groups and adults as far as I can tell, were hooked up into. In fact, the fantasy books, novels and comics(which is where I first ran across the use of the phrase, temporal displacement, as well as Samuel Delaney stories) that would suggest that there was a systematic mind control system which like the Matrix, we were all locked into and our fates were for the most part sealed, seemed to be far more real and probable than the other myths that men live by here on Earth. That is another conversation that again, may never be discussed, because I don't quite have the understanding that I would feel comfortable talking about because of the philosophical and moral issues that are attached.



Having said that, the current idea that it is okay to be ignorant and become a public leader and influence how society operates, is unnerving, but it is the tumult that is life. The meek that inheirit the Earth aren't necessarily required to put up the SAT scores for admission into anything. It is hard for people who think and form their own conclusion seperate from what is proffered them through media and certain institutions to watch society 'de-volve' into such backwards thinking, but I think that it cannot be helped. An article that I read confirms some of the unconnected threads for me and comes to the conclusion that man is destined to destroy society as we know it and as we can concievably see evolving. We are running out of the things that make up life on the only planet we know of its existence.



I have never thought that a 'nuclear holocaust' would absolutely eliminate mankind from this planet, just as resource depletion won't kill off everyone and everything either. But what I do think is that something that cataclysmic would force evolutionary changes in man as a species, just as we have impacted on the environments in our biosphere and forced changes on other species that live on Earth with us.



Survival of the fittest doesn't stop at the Serengenti.



Who was there at the world's beginning? Who will be there at its end?? Wouldn't it be something if there was a way to find an answer to those two questions? Anywho, I do think that man will have to evolve and become a 'new species' at some point in the future. There doesn't seem to be enough foresight to sustain life as it is currently configured and I doubt that man possess the ability to erase all life and the planet from existence. Something is going to go on, just don't have any idea of what it will be.



Somehow I think that unconsciously that we understand that. It is such a great unknowable thing, that out of fear, man is vunerable to those whose sociopathic narcissim (thanks Thomas!!) has him believing that he has a special bond with the creator and by default, all of creation! Leroy Jenkins! Is that not insane or what??

ALL THIS HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY ZIGGY STARDUST

One of the links on a Mental Floss page took me here, a story on science fiction in the genre of concept albums in music. A great many of the albums I have already listened to, including the album that I consider the one that ended my association with urban and black radio, Rush's 2112, which really wasn't a concept album at all, but it was close enough of one for me! It continued an already curious mind to become even more curious about the world and the stuff in what is considered reality, but my interests was of a more psychological nature.

I had entertained at one time actually going thru with my cant to become a teacher when I hung out with my Delta Girl. Fate threw a wild card in my life and it would scuttle those plans. Something that I didn't mention when I was in reflection about the things that I didn't do, though I feel I have done most of what I'd like to try as a child, is teach. I would like to work and be involved in education. And with the changes being made in our system, I believe that someone needs to be around to explain what made Sen. McCarthy a pariah and that 'Title IX and Affirmative Action' had the unintended consequences of giving everyone a better chance to become a better human being.

The reason that remaining here would be a possiblity is that I am finally free of certain obligations with which I had burdened myself with. Sometimes I am giddy at the idea of years going by and my not having spoken to my family. As it stands I haven't heard my sister's Jan's voice in six years. Occasionally she pops up in my 'in' box, some crap mass email trash that everybody passes on without any personal content in it.

I feel good about that relationship. After I miss the wedding in November, I will prolly feel as light as a feather.

LETTING GO OF THE SHORE

Maybe my Dad and possibly Nebraska will get me to make an appearance. My sister did ask me to walk her down the aisle. Isn't that something that two people could have taken such a different opinion on the same relationship, the same upbringing?? I made for the service with the intent to never cross paths with my family, ever. And this was prior to some of the more f*cked up things that I went thru for the family.

The clip from the movie 'Friday Night Lights' where the coach talks about 'being perfect' to his players who were getting creamed by a bigger, tougher and maybe more talented team, was the definition that he gave. The perfection wasn't about winning or losing but about the relationships in your life with those closest to you. Perfection was measured by being able to tell those people, people who depended and expected of you, that you gave them all that you had to give.

Living in a moment where you can honestly tell someone that you did your level best ... and can then live in a moment with 'a clear mind and love in your heart', reminded me of when I use the phrase, 'I gave at the office'. Often I try to express that feeling with purposed skepticism and mean for it to have an element of disdainfulness, because telling someone that 'you owe me and your debt is epic', usually isn't going to be that well recieved.

BETCHA DIDN'T KNOW

This was intended to talk about the unstable mix of estrogen and teenage hormones that was recently on display here. It resembled the frustrated rutting of blind pigs and made me long for a hard liquor to wipe the images from my mind. I had thought I'd make an comment about feeling randy and all but the mood passed when I started writing about what I was actually thinking and not what I felt.

Perhaps I will get to talking about those feelings as they are connected to other things that are actually on my mind. May come out as those more fully formed thoughts continue to take shape.