RULES TO LIVE BY

CONCEPTUAL CONTINUITY

That is what I am about. Which is why I occasionally 'lock in' on specific areas I would like to change and work on. It is a mental discipline exercise, because there are plenty of 'pretty shiny balls' rolling around to look at.

For instance, three shows that I really, really like are cranking up. One, 'Friday Night Lights', I saw the season on the 101 network that runs on DirecTV. The second is 'The Amazing Race', and I never get tired of that one! Finally, 'Millionaire Matchmaker' is on, and I think that it should be required viewing for good, decent, but unfortunately single women, who would rather not be. I also want to start getting back into talking about my fitness and work out stuff, cause I do. Anyway ...

WHAT IS 'IT'?

Last week on my facebook page, I kept putting up '... is getting 'it' and 'it' has been duly noted and entered into business', because I did not want to do what I thought was the worse thing ... call Tee Jay. I can only go with a stereotype, that of a woman fretting over why someone doesn't call, and why there were no plans for 'whatever'. Patti on 'Matchmaker' caught one of the girls trying to slide one of the cats their number on the side. She caught the girl, and said loud enough for anyone in the county to have heard ... "If he did not choose you for a date, it is because he isn't that f*cking into you!", because that isn't how she runs her operation as a matchmaker.

Not that I was weakening or anything, but it was good to hear. Tee Jay hasn't called because despite what she may have said, she just isn't that f*cking into me. I can dig it, I can dig it. But why is she still 'in play'? "Keep your friends close, your enemies closer." - Unknown. Not that she is an 'enemy' per se, but I can't take that she isn't more than a vague idea of my own creation.

I know what she said to me, as I looked her in the eyes when she said it. I know what I felt when we touched and when we kissed ... that wasn't imagined. Maybe there IS something there, and I am not completely certain how far with this idea of an 'ex List' I am supposed to go...

SO WHAT DO YOU KNOW, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

Whether or not I have been 'a dog' (trust me ... that case could easily be made, and it would take Johnnie Cochran to get me off that charge!) doesn't matter. What matters is whatI am going to do from this moment on. And besides, the 'run and shoot' went out with 8-Ball jackets ... haven't been 'that guy' in a good long while ... over a decade.

A span of time which includes my time with Tee Jay.

ONCE IS HAPPENSTANCE, TWICE COINCIDENCE ...

... a third time, enemy action." -Auric Goldfinger, from the movie "Goldfinger". Is it a little strong, referring to someone as an 'enemy'? Yeah, that is somewhat over the top, but consider how important this area is in my life, I don't think it is out of place. I have always felt, but not always acted like the important things to me, were that important. So by using strong language like this, I am acknowledging that I can ignore it at my own peril.

So that is why I have only called Tee Jay twice. Since there is something in me that is not ready to completely write her off, I won't. Besides, I really would rather go somewhere else, and there are other things besides wondering whether or not she 'may be somewhat, kinda, into me', that is on my mind.

Maybe we will see in March ... by telling myself that, I can hold my position, and if I want to find out, I can without all the emotions that are churning now.

NEBRASKA MONDAY

If there is any day of the week that I write her, it is Monday. It gives me a pleasant start to my week, reminding me what I have to look forward to, and 'fresh snowfall', like the one Calvin and Hobbes had laid out before them in their last strip. "Let's go exploring," Calvin said as they set off on their sled.

That is what I think about most, when it comes to my 'what's next'. All of this is 'conditioning' for my 'next, new life'. One of the reasons that I think that it is 'out west' is that SHE was the only one to have called me on Valentine's Day!! The reason that it is significant is, that is all I would have wanted from ANYONE on Valentine's!

No big to do about it ... if we love each other, then let's be with each other. Want to 'make something special' rather than do something over priced and much more trouble than it is worth? Hey, I am not that kind of guy.

For you, I will plan a little something at the house. One of my fave local caterer, Edibles Rex, runs dinner plans for a small get together ... I could do that, invite a few couples for that. Get some candles and a bottle of wine. For sure I can scare up some music and dim the lights ... and let's celebrate what is really important. Not a 'thing' or an ostentatious show, but the relationship. You, me and our love.

Anywho, I thought it cool of her, to call me and wish me a happy day on Saturday. Tres cool.

Finally, keeping Tee Jay 'in play' means that I can ask myself if I want to call her and not call, a lot more easier than I could try to write her off, and keep that 'front' up. Why draw uneccesary lines to contend with?