Names, Faces, and Places

IN MY HEAD ...

I can 'link up' character traits that I get reading other's journals. So I am using names that should be a 'little familiar' to you, not just out of fun's sake, but because something in you reminds me of something I saw in someone else's.

Me, I believe that there is only one life, and that we are all 'in it'. If you know it or not, can recognize it or not, varies from person to person, and may not even factor in your success. I do think that it helps, and that's why I am using them, the familiar names.

Did I have roommies in college that were as 'cool' with me as that --yes, yes I did. They stood behind me at a time when they had no good reason to. I was living in my car, going to get showers at the shelter in Greensboro, and finding time to work, go to school, AND box. They took in a stray cat from Detroit. I miss those guys.

The trainers I had were really 'matched' as well as the trainers in the story, save they weren't married! They got along and was each able to bring out different things in the fighters that the other wasn't as good at.

I was working at Belk's in the Four Season's Mall, reading 'Myths To Live By', when a guy who worked there started to chat me up about it. Of course, he was faithful, but a real open thinker and we would chat up such topics. Our friendship, while bound by work, was a good one. We would talk about wide ranging things, always being respectful about each other's boundaries.

'Pecan Sandie' ISN'T Pecan Sandie in this story. You gets NO hints as to who she is!!

Using readers names helps me place the characters, as something your have written or the general vibe I get from you, remind me of someone I have met in my life. I am in your life as well, somewhere. Not all, just a piece, but I am somewhere around. So that is that with that!

NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST

The movie house was out in Madison Heights. We went at 7 p.m., and am glad Tee Jay knew where we were going! Got there in plenty of time, and I really enjoyed the movie! Good date movie, at least for me, for US. There were a lot of elements in it that we could clearly parallel with our previous relationship.

Gave me a 'break' as to dinner, opting out for Mickey Dee's on the way home. It was a long enough ride to talk a little bit. Because of my attitude in dating, being forward with my emotions, it is sort of a struggle for me now to 'play' the dating game. She smiled a lot, and told me to relax a little, and let things develop and play out. Let's see what happens.

She is right, I know. BUT, I also know how stuff happens, and I did not purposely want to be a part of 'stuff', not if I feel I can help it. So I reminded her of my three goals, 1) to be happy 2) to be happy with her or, 3) leave town and find my happiness somewhere else, with some one (Nebraska ..? I told her that ONCE). I also told her the only reason that I am 'Ex-Listing' (how bad an idea is this? How many episodes did THAT show last!) was to keep HER in my life ... and that is the truth.

ADVANTAGES OF BEING ON-SITE

Having met my peeps, both my blood and steps, she is well versed in the Quixotic adventures that dot my life. I don't have to remind her how agitated I am, being 'the only one' here in Detroit. I told her that I know that this isn't how 'the game is played', but that this is how I am playing it. If all we are going to be to each other are friends, I can be cool with that. But ME ... I am going to find my life and hopes somewhere else, because as far as I am concerned, you are the only person in Detroit that matters to me and makes me feel that it could be here, with them.

I would rather be up front with my position, than to be 'two-faced', saying one thing and being one way with her, then operating on something else that pulls in a different direction. To be one way with her, and trying to be something else with out her, is operating on two fronts of battle. It is something that I worry about with the two major wars we are in as a country. Historic precedent say it will lead to the fall of a society ... how much more so for an individual relationship?

Anywho, I am sure she get it. Now that I have put it out, I can concentrate on acting as if what I want is out there, all I have to do is like Spike Lee's Mookie in the movie, 'Do The Right Thing', which is ...

... to do the right thing.

SO YOU SEE, I AM NOT AS 'RANDOM' AS ONE MAY HAVE THOUGHT

Because she is 'here' and has a history with me, Tee Jay also understands how much I place in 'vibe' and in the unseen. There isn't ANYTHING I have to review with her about me, but to build from. I can learn about her, going forward because that is how I do, period. Trust my feelings and go from there. Whether others agree with my results or not, matters little, because I believe in my approach. In my mind, when it is all said and done, I HAVE BEEN the problem. My last relationship was rare, in that I could actually say, 'it was just her, not you', in.

And that is part of what is different between Nebraska and Tee Jay. I think that the former has a vision of her life, and I am not in a starring role in it. She knows enough about me, much in the same way an NFL Team should know about their first round draft choice, if not all of their selections. I am too good to not be a first round selection ...

Tee Jay and I got together under the thinking that we both wanted something different. I wanted to be stable, so that I could be a better father, a better man. I had put all of my 'notch making' stuff away and wanted to settle down, for real. The 'wild oats' had been sown, at least as much as I was going to sow them. She wanted to get off the 'relationship Merry Go-round' that made a star out of Mary J. Blige and all the other crap songs they play on WJLB. So though on the surface, we would appear to be different ... we actually wanted the same thing -- to be in love with someone who loved us back.

Many, if not all, of the 'social concerns' I think impact on my potential relationships with people, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH, getting back with Tee Jay. Her daughter, her family, even some of her good friends in her life know that I march to a beat that I alone hear. And she didn't mind, and she really and truly walked along with me, like a good woman should do, if she believes she has a good man, even if sometimes he didn't make sense to her.

Ken and Betty left some comments on my frustrated post, the one with Blake's 'Red Dragon' ... but I have written enough for one entry. Need to relax, get my bike repaired, and develop a new fitness routine!