Friday, September 19, 2008

Salt 'n Pepa talked about it ...

AND BERLIN SANG ABOUT IT ...

Prologue:

Yesterday I went grocery shopping at a Super Wal-Mart in 48150 ... because I had purchased some Ice Cream and some milk, I called AKA to see if she could come out and pick me up.  It was near 1600 hrs. and I figured she would be wrapping up her work day.

I asked if she was BUSY first, and she said she was.  She then asked why I had called, and I told her I was wondering if she could pick me up from shopping.  She said "Sure," so I waited.  And waited.  And waited.

Two full hours later, she arrived.  I was on my bike, and though I had a full complement of shopping, I could have made it back home in an hour or thereabouts.  Graciously, I put my gear in her ride, and made small talk as we rode to the house.

A half mile or so from home, I asked her to repeat two sentences; "Mark, I am busy", and "I can't right now, can I get to you another time?"

She replied with, "What, you think I don't say 'no' to you enough?"

I turned and locked her eyes.  "You know, that isn't what I asked you, but since you are presumptive, I will play along.  See, I could have made it home as I done it before.  The only difference is that I bought milk and Ice Cream, and I figured if you could get here, I could get it home before it melted/spoiled."

"The word 'no' doesn't hurt my feelings.  I try not to get into circumstance that I can't get out of.  I would have already BEEN home, had you said 'no, I can't Mark.  We'd still be friends."

Then she said "Natter, natter, natter."  I didn't pay it much attention, I had to get my groceries in the house.  Now, on with the show, and it is adult conversation.

SEX 

When AKA took me for my birthday dinner, she order herself a Jack and Diet Coke.  I rarely drink, so I just ordered a soda (sometimes, I get a 'Roy Rogers' or a 'Shirley Temple'!).  As we sat and ate, she pushed her half finished drink to me and ordered her another.  Ooo-kay.  I drank it as one alcoholic drink tastes the same to me.  BTW, if I mean to drink, it is usually a cognac with a Coke chaser, or some Jaegermeister,  but never to excess.  My limit is generally ONE.

Anywho, she had asked a month or so ago and was asking again over dinner, if I ever get horny.  Since this was the second time she asked this question, I knew what was on HER mind.  But it is amazing how two people can participate in the same event, and come away with totally different feelings about what happened.

Sex with her is not good.  I don't like it.  As for her, she thinks we 'fit perfect' together, and she was happy with it.  Me, not so much ... in fact, not at all.  Though she is a nice looking woman, aesthetically, she leave ME something to be desired.

Don't know if anyone else in her 'log book' ever complained to her ... I want to say that I did say something to her when we were 'bumpin' uglies' years ago.  But I haven't forgotten what it was like being with her.  She rivals my ex-wife as my most difficult partner ... the reason we 'fit together' is because I will work at finding what whoever likes, what positioning suits THEM best, and work at it.

I make it all about them, with the idea that it will be reciprocated.  For the most part, it works out fine, and is quite enjoyable.  Then there are times ... My approach has always been that since simple FRICTION can bring a man to climax, and sometimes a guy can be unconscious and make a mess, that it takes want to and desire to REALLY please a woman ... sorta like the difference between scoring and rebounding ... ANY knucklehead can score, but it takes passion to rebound!

LOVING CAN BE AN ART

I look to my insecurities and ask them 'Why are y'all here?  How do I get you to leave?'  For me as a teenager, I was so not the ladies man!  In fact, when I lost my 'cherry' I did not know what was going on, to the extent that I couldn't get out of my pants!  It was literally, a hot mess!

So I went home afterwards, fearing that not only would I not get another chance with her, after she laughed with her friends about it, I wouldn't get a chance EVER!  But she liked me more than that, and was even willing to give me another go ...

This time, I figured I needed an edge, and my edge was cunnilingus.  So, on my 'second at-bat', I was like, diver down!

... will finish this shortly ... don't say you weren't warned ... but it won't get explicit ..!

 

4 comments:

luvrte66 said...

Mark, ROFL! I am cracking up. "Diver down!" You're a peach.

As for the not saying, "I can't, I'm busy," that's just rude. I wonder why some people have such a hard time saying no?

Beth

frankandmary said...

Personally, I'd have a much harder time leaving someone waiting for 2 hours than I would saying I was busy & wouldn't be available for that length of time. I'm sure the ice cream was pourable by the time she got there.

She asked you twice if you ever get horny?  Uhm, well, she's a subtle one. ~Mary

buckoclown said...

Ice Cream, good practice if you have to lap it up :o)

lv2trnscrb said...

Mark you might have mentioned what 48150 is before, but I missed it; is it your code name for a city or location? its a shame AKA couldn't have been just a little more sensitive to realize you were at a store that sold groceries and perhaps you did want to get your groceries put away in a reasonable time; hopefully she'll be more considerate the next time or at least say she's not able to run that errand for you right then

betty