FIRST OF ALL ...
I saw the Gossip open for Sleater-Kinney, who was like, my 2nd favourite band of all time (the Clash is the first). I just wanted to share ...
... cause I feel a little mangled, internally.
I will let you know that I feel a little disingeous about personal 'pity parties'. But when I mentioned that all there is between me and the adventure out west, is my daughter, getting some money together, and my timetable, I meant that is it.
Unless I get some help from and unseen source, it is going to take me at least 18 months to get there. To happen sooner would take for some help ... a year from now would be the earliest date ... hope to catch the State Fair and then make a move.
That is a cut from the initial 24 month time table I left Mookie's in May with ... and the Atomic clock didn't start until June First ...
Being lonely (as opposed to being alone) is a strain. Right now, this minute, things are going FINE for me. Sent my ex wife a birthday card (because I CAN be such an butthole!), nothing jerky, a simple Joe Friday kind of thing ... I do remember her day because it is near the start of school.
I used to go to clubs like Todd's and Menjo's with my darling Brother ... I like hanging out with him ...
When he was in the hospital and we thought he would be coming home, I joked him, saying that, "I have changed your diapers before and I guess I will be doing it again!" Talk about being something cool ... oh,and I had decided that I was going to move in with him and take care of him ...
Me and Mookie ..? Oh, I would have used that to leverage myself out of her life... but I am sure that my brother would want to at least give her a manicure ..! And he wasn't scared of my ex-Wife either!
MY BROTHER, MY HERO
I wasn't an innocent, but my ex wife is one of those cowardly mean people, who can only be aggressive towards someone they can get away with it, with. One day, while we were seperated and pending divorce, she snuck into my Mom's house, stole through and jumped me while I was asleep ...
My Mom called for my Brother, who somehow picked her up and carried out of the house!
Good times! Too bad I thought so much of it was funny ... instead of acknowledging what it was. My best sister said that was part of how things got 'twisted' ... I disagree, especially since my darling Brother had no problem deciding where his loyalties lie ...
Anyway, hopey'all dig the Gossip video ... if y'all were in Detroit, you could catch the Spiritualized show with me ... I am sure y'all would recoginize me ... any who, I am going to let this work itself out ...
2 comments:
If you are having a personal pity party, Mark, I'm not catching it; I think you are realistic in your plans to be out of your present situation in your timeframe; I think there are a lot of people who are lonely even when surrounded with lots of people and a lot of people totally comfortable with being alone; I can see it would be a lonely situation in where you are right now, but I know you will stay focused with what you want and I know you will accomplish it in those 18 months or so ahead of you
betty
I most certainly don't hear a pity party here! As Betty said your being realistic. Trust me I know all about pity parties, I consider it healthy to give yourself one every once in a while to clear out the clutter in your head. It's always better to take your time and do things right, than to rush and end up making a mistake you can't undo. (Hugs)Indigo
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