NEW EMPLOYEE ORIENTATION
Sure, I went because AS FAR AS I KNOW, I am a 'new employee'. The manager did have a proxy, the chef, say to me that I didn't need to be in the group, but why? Here is where the phrase 'plausible deniability' falls into use, because THE MANAGER hasn't said anything to me, not even 'You're done'.
The HR lady did the meeting, so she knows all of that stuff. The hotel GM spoke and saw me, which is cool. AKA's uncle is on her peer level, so at some point someone is going to have to say something to somebody UP THERE. The thing for me is that I have done as much as I can ... I just don't want her uncle or her (to him) looking like a schmuck because of me.
Feeling good right now, but it wasn't like that this weekend.
Went for a long run on Saturday, almost 2hrs., at a light 'double-time' pace. After a huge effort like that, two mistakes can be made. The first, is the 'treat' for doing it, can undo all that work. Lots of folks start working out, and since they have done some exercise, they feel they can 'eat'. Not true. That is a false presumption, don't go for it!
The other is, after hard work like that, not taking a pain reliever afterwards. I suggest a Bayer or even a reputable store brand asprin, if you can. Speeds the healing and deals with the soreness. I had forgotten that part on Saturday and was sore all that day and well into the next. And when I am achy like that, it feels like a November rain ...
... on a beautiful July weekend.
So overall, between Friday and today, I reached my own goals and feel totally confident in my efforts. But by no means am I expecting things to fall favorably my way in whole, that I am at the 'wait' part of the 'hurry up and wait' thinking behind getting my tasks accomplished.
Not only that, the order in which I chose my tasks were a source of conflict, because each one could easily have demanded their own DAY, let alone being first. What to do, and for what rationale ...
... a paradox is often defined by wondering if something IS a paradox. The point where you don't know exactly what you SHOULD do, but you have to act, is what a paradox is. Even doing nothing is an 'act', because it too results in certain consequences.
Paradox is what is at the center of the point where wrong can seem to be right, and immorality be made into something moral. Everything seems as uncertain as the direction of the wind, blowing this way and then that -- bringing you so close to places that you never thought you be, and now that you are there facing the ambiguousness of 'what's what', you have to make a choice.
Though I prolly could think of something more poetic, I will borrow the lyric from a Dead Milkmen song that I have used for moments of paradox ... 'Just me and God ... watchin' Scotty die'.
No matter where you fall on the theological spectrum, everthing leads to where it is going to just be you and that force ... looking over your life, 'Scotty', as you pass on. That is what is going to be what you are judged on. No Mother to coddle you, and no Father to cry out for. Won't be able to get help from any friends, it is just YOU and your watching life play out its end ...
... Make a choice and deal with it. I have my sleepless nights, and there are times where I look inside myself and am supremely disappointed in what I have found there. Yet, I have found a way to live with myself and what I am, though others, I am not so sure about.
Now, what does Mookie and AKA have in common? And why Pecan Sandie and Tee Jay should rightfully be angry with me ..?