Friday, July 25, 2008

... sometimes, it is Cloudy ...


Little prologue first ... the Utah Mining accident ... the Mine company got socked with big fines.  This is another reason I live with my transgressions and keep on going.

See, the cats that own the company took shortcuts, KNOWINGLY endangering men at the expense of more profits.  'Only' six died, but rich cats who were getting richer, knew what the chances of danger were ... sent them down ANYWAY.

No more mine.  What effect on the community economically, is that going to have?  The lives of SO MANY people adversely affected so that a few can fatten their wallets ...

... so if I am goin' to visit Scratch, I will have plenty of company ...

... let's get to it.


Isn't that hard.  The information is all around you.  If you sit on the couch, eat junk all day, never exercise, that is a formula for 'pick your ailment', right?  So that is being able to 'see the future'.  It is all predicated on actions and experience.  Things that I know, I know not because I am that smart, but because I can read, literally and figuratively.

My Mom used to let me take the Grand River bus, down to the Olympia Stadium ALONE to see the Tommy Hearns fights ... and to the 20 Grand Ballroom on W. Grand Blvd, from the 'northwest-est' part of Detroit, 48219.  How could she do such a thing with a 10-11 year old boy?  Could you IMAGINE the trouble she would be in today?

But something that I have been able to do for the most part, is avoid the worst situations.  I used to tell My First Wife, when she would worry about things, 'hat she is worried about things that are supposed to happen to other people, that isn't supposed to happen to me!'

She didn't understand that.  She never realized that she was a part of that 'me', and I did a poor job of explaining that.  Anywho, whenever there has been some sort of 'drama' in my life, it just never has been the worst outcome possible.  Not that it turned out daisies, but still, something that I could have recovered from.

Which takes a lot of focus.  You grow stronger where life tests you, and that is how I feel.


We all have to cope with paradox at one time or another.  In the movie 'Million Dollar Baby', Clint Eastwood's character was faced with such a paradox, one that was I think, the ULTIMATE paradox ... because most of us will hopefully NEVER be where that character was, you can find comfort in the lesser paradoxes in our lives.

But they never seem to be small.

I like a Nietzsche line: "The formula for my happiness; a yes, a no, a straight line, a goal.  Yet the road of life is anything but straight and often 'yes and no' is blurred by shades of gray.  Sometimes you are going to have to put up with what you don't want.  Like now, I am going to try to walk to the hotel, say what I need to say to try to get my job back.  Much of what I anticipate saying is going to go against my internal paradigm.  But if the final result is one that is that allows me to reach personal goals ..?

I don't remember ... Nine Inch Nails made a song I think, called 'The Way Out Is Through'.  Working in paradox is not unlike the connotation of that title.  False modesty is a sin ... and I would add false pride as well. 

With that said ... I am going to go and see if I can't get to doing some groveling ..!  Be well, and enjoy your weekend!



luvrte66 said...

Groveling is never fun, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Good luck!


toonguykc said...

I'm starting to think your "way through" is by writing.  Maybe?


buckoclown said...

I think what you are doing is showing ownership/accountability, not grovelling.  Hope your honesty results in a postive outcome :o)

lv2trnscrb said...

probably too late for you to read this before you go and try to win your job back, Mark, but groveling/humility/repentance goes a long way sometimes; look at it as a game you are playing and the prize is to get back the job to help you attain some goals you are working on

I admire your mom for having trust in you to go to the fights alone at such a young age; I bet it helped immensely in your growng up and getting self confidence

let us know how it goes with the job


abaleman666 said...

preach it brotherman, preach it.

sometimes you definitely have to 'live through it' to get to it.  i am trying to add all the blogs i read to my sidebar-- may i add you as well?

i hope all goes with with the J O B