Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Million Dollar Entry

… trailing in the sands of life is all we will leave behind us when our time comes.  No matter how ‘forever’ something is pledged, eventually even memories of our ever being will become dust and eventually nothing, as though we were never here.
The ‘dash’ between the date?  That is you and yours to make of it what you will. Before last night, I had not seen the film, ‘Million Dollar Baby’.  Read up on it during its pre-release, and caught the buzz.  With that kind of material and its topic in the capable hands of Clint Eastwood and with the considerable talents of Hilary Swank and Morgan Freeman at his disposal, I decided to ‘miss’ that movie, because I wanted to keep my he art where it was, in my chest and not up on a screen for all to see.
I get a little misty thinking of the movie as it is, NOW.
My Delta Girl and me were doing the co-hab thing, in a small town near the S.C. border.  I had found a good job in a manufacturing plant welding (?!?  even I DON’T believe that one ..!  Imagine me getting grimy and dirty, working in a factory!), and she was teaching elementary school in town.  It was a good and comfortable set up, me being able to help out in her school and fitting in the community in general.
One day riding around the little town, I saw a heavy bag hanging from someone’s porch, and I stopped.  A guy lived there who fought professionally and we got to talking and … and I started to fight professionally.
Delta was a little apprehensive about the whole thing.  I have always looked on with bemusement, when people who watched boxing before I cam into their lives, change how they see the sport after watching me get in there.  I do understand, as ‘theory and practice’ goes out the window when it is someone you care about taking the risks.
I reminded her that I was a very good amateur boxer, that holding my own against the locals shouldn’t be too difficult.  She could look at it as my form of rec league b asketball or bowling, something that I was doing as an outlet to for the athlete in me, and to be involved with something on my own.  I was still intending to finish school, and live with her as we built towards marriage.
Like Hilary Swank in the movie, I started out hot and eventually somepeople took an interesting in ‘moving’ me.  For a little bit, I thought it may really happen that I was going to be able to make a chunk of money and have that fantastic fantasy life that …
… I never really wanted anyway.  But the brass ring was hanging there and I made my grab for it.  Fell off of the merry go round, went sliding past the popcorn machine and into the souvenir stand.  Delta Girl couldn’t stand it, and ended up choosing to move on … the week of my biggest pro fight.  I know she wasn’t comfortable with the idea o f me fighting, just wished she could have done it another time other than the week of my biggest fight.  But she did, and I would lose the fight …
The movie felt familiar, particularly with her first fight.  She was brought in as an opponent, a stiff as the guy who worked her corner was ‘trading her out’, bringing her in so that someone else who he has an interest in, would get an easy fight.  That is one way that matches gets ‘fixed’, by managers and matchmakers making deals to bring up certain fighters at the expense of others.
Me, being unconnected at the start, was willing to take that chance.  I saw boxing professionally on the Southern Circuit as my ‘rec league basketball’, and that I would do it for a little while to get it out of my system and move on.  But like Hilary, I got hot, and finally some people led by the ‘Jew Bastid’ took and interest in me.  I signed a contract and it was crap and the rest of that story essentially got told already.
The scene where she gave her family a house felt familiar, as I had to one time bail my family out from some mortgage trouble.  When our Mother transitioned, they got stuck in a jam that I could help them out with.  I mean, I tried but this time couldn’t pull it off and we lost the house.  Jan was pretty treacherous, and was behind that mess.
Another really familiar part of the movie was the end.  Like the character, I feel that I have led a full life, and that I have gotten a lot out of it.&n bsp; Were something to happen to me, my family knows that I would not want heroic measures performed, and to just let me go.  Even told them last year when I made Mookie power of attorney for my medical care … have to get that down legally somewhere now that we are apart.

Right now, I am not so worried about that.  I can ‘see’ where there is more length to my road and there is further for me to travel.  I look forward to being in a place where I can call it my own, and say that life is good … not that it isn’t good now, but, you know what I mean ..!


This isn't a love-struck teen.  The picture that she took of us, impromptu and spontaneous, captured what is really there, that we look like we belong to each other.

Our propotion to one another, my shoulders being wide enough to comfortably hold her, she being tall enough to not be overwhelmed, has me thinking we make a tremendous couple.

Trying to describe her is tricky, as a woman's figure is a sensitive subject.  But if you have seen the songstress Jill Scott, then you can imagine from there what it is I SEE when I look at her, because Jill Scott is THE ONE!!

It isn't thatr I don't know what it is like to 'look like a couple'.  Me and My Delta Girl looked good together; so did me and Pecan Sandie.  My First Wife and I looked bad together, and as much as I adored Tee Jay, I don't think the camera should be pointed at us unless you want to start a fight.

Letting Nebraska take a picture of me PERIOD was big.  I don't like pictures of myself.  I don't see the person I feel I should when I look at them, though I like what I see in  the mirror.  When Iwas with Nebraska, the pictures looked nice, and that was because I was happy and with the person that I want to be with.

Sorry about the length ... next up, is what me and my Dad did last week, and I will let y'all in on why I know what is going to be my next set of thoughts before I think them ..!


luvrte66 said...

I'm glad you enjoyed the movie and that it made you think about parallels in your own life. I still find it one of the most heart-wrenching movies I've ever seen, and I think I was upset for two days after watching it! THAT is a good movie. Clint has always been one of my very favorites, and he did such a great job in this one.

You mentioned a picture of you and Nebraska...that you looked good together because you were where you wanted to be. I find that some of the most natural and happiest pictures happen when you feel that way. Right place, right time...and right person.


lv2trnscrb said...

I never saw that movie, Mark; it was on my list and then for some reason we never went to it; I can see you would see the parallels in your own life

but you are right about the dash in the dates of our birth/death; that dash says it all of how we lived in the number of days we had; so important to live them wisely and with good intent, although some days (okay most days) I don't, but to strive to live like that is a reasonably good goal to have

will look forward to your entry when you say what you and your Dad did last week

take care of yourself


buckoclown said...

I also to not like my picture taken.  The funny thing is, when it is a picture with Beth, my smile is a mile wide.

Glad you liked the movie and that it had resonance with you :o)

toonguykc said...

I'm not a fan of Eastwood since I found out what a 'compassionate conservative' he is. Yes,  I'm just that biased!!


malagutigrrl said...

Well, I like pictures of you, Boxer Boy!