Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The General Offensive pt. 1

PROLOGUE

In Sunday's Freep, Mitch Albom wrote a column about Jesse Jackson's comments towards Barack Obama's words on Father's Day (I think), and how it inspired him to offer up his services as a surgeon for Sen. Obama.

Though I feel that this is a two sided coin, and yes Madeline (for the record, I LOVE that name!!), let's stick with the Men for today ... the ability to leave and shuck responsibility being something that they have been able to get away with for too long ... and I know because I am one of them.  When Sen. Obama spoke, I wasn't offended as much as feeling embarrassed for being part of something that fuels many of the countries social problems.  Not being ostracized allows me to sleep at night -- but what of the single Moms, who despite how they got to be a single Mother, did not grow up with the notion of struggling with the burden.

What struck me about Rev. Jackson's comments were two fold.  First, it was generic enough to include ALL layabout Dad's, not just US specifically.  Black folks really need to get off thinking that we are alone with such a problem.  What makes it seems like that we are struggling by ourselves with single parenting, is that we allow for it to be sold and marketed back to us through the media, in movie, music and in television shows.  We are the ones who trumpet this negative behavior, and that what makes it seems like it is 'just us' who have to deal with it.  It happens in MANY other groups and not just endemic to African Americans.

Second, I think that escaped Rev. Jackson's idle mind because there is a little jealousy in the mix as well.  He has to find a new constituency to serve, and NO ONE has spoken up for the non-custodial parent ... in fact, it was toxic to try to speak for the absent father's in these relationship.  Come on, admit it ... there isn't any amount of mitigation to make anyone feel sorry for cats who have done what I have, and there is many who would say that I am getting my 'just desserts' now ...

... that said, with the mainstream blacks following Sen. Obama, Rev. Jackson has to find something to remain relevant in the national salons.  The sun is setting on his role in black social politics ... and in REAL politics as well.  While Sen. Obama's success, whether or not he gains the White House is progress, we still need someone to fill the role Rev. Jackson has played in the nation's moral compass.

PEARLS BEFORE SWINE

Sunday's strip had two characters, Goat and Rat featured.  Goat was vexed because he couldn't get to his blog; Rat then became hysterical, checked to see if the was anything happening outside, satisfied that it wasn't, came back to where Goat was and said: "And yet somehow the world goes on."

Funny?  I think so!!!

... on with the show.

LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED THING

Great movie.  I saw it this weekend ... on one of the hundreds of channel that come streaming into my bedroom.  Anyway, now I have to deal with some real setbacks, both crucial to me.

Tomorrow I will start work.  I decided to press on because to my understanding, I can earn as much as I can on a probationary period.  We will find out, because that is what I am going to do.  My nerves come from that, and honestly, I don't know how much I have in the tank for an 8hr day.  Banquet serving isn't brain surgery ... but then, it could be said brain surgery isn't banquet service!

Maybe I should have said, "it isn't rocket science" instead ... CONSIDERING!

AKA got mad at me cause I wouldn't go where she lead me to, and I flat out turned and walked away from it.  Though she has her serious demerits, I do like her and I miss her, as she is.  I would like to think I could help her get to where she is going, but her issues are best leaked out slowly ... after all the reason that I turned away from her talk is, this is a time I MUST do what I think is best.  BS'ing people isn't part of what I think is best for me to do.

From Russ' comment about my 'thinking too much' to something he said more recently about my having written "Excellent practical words about love ... how do you do it?", I don't know if I can say 'how' ... but I do think it matters less than if you have a 'why'.

One recurring issue I have cropped up against is that people don't have a 'why', at least not one that is rational or reasonable.  Because of some decisions that I have made, I know that my hopes are hamstrung.  This doesn't mean that I am willing to 'take what I could get', because I still think of myself as a viable and capable partner.

There are two new shows set to debut, one in the fall on CBS, "The Ex List" and the other on Bravo, "Must Love Kids".  They both conceptually struck a chord in me.  I am already doing a 'reality version' of the "The Ex List", where a younger woman has a psychic reveal that she has already met and dated her life love, and she has to go back to find him.

The Bravo show is one I am personally familiar with, as I can honestly say that I NEVER though less of any woman with children ... from nearly out the gate.  As a senior, I dated a girl with a two year old, and three women that I care for deeply (Mookie, Tee Jay, and my First Wife {her, not so much!}) had children when I met them.

But there is a hypocrisy at play here, at least as far as I am concerned.  I have my girls, and though me and Skye aren't close, the two little girls and I enjoy healthy, positive relationships.  Still, there are some who I havementioned that would look down on me and my role in their lives at first glance.  Fine, I can deal.

... as to where this is going to ... have to get back to you on that ... this is going to be a little bit of 'thinking more to think less' here ...

 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the job! I hope you aren't too tired to post again soon....

Thanks also for your take on the Jackson/Obama thing. My whole thing, when Obama said that, was that he wasn't speaking to any particular group. This happens everywhere and across all groups. I thought Jackson's comment that he was "talking down to black people" really missed the point. It's all about personal responsibility!

I applaud you for trying very hard to remain a presence in your girls' lives. It sounds like you've done that with the younger ones, and Skye...I guess you'll just have to keep working there!

Love "Pearls Before Swine," but I missed that strip! Very funny, and so true!

All my best,
Beth

Anonymous said...

"we still need someone to fill the role Rev. Jackson has played in the nation's moral compass."

Would that be the part where he admitted he fathered a "love child" in 1998... or the fact that he has a dirty mouth -- you know, "cut his nuts out"...... or perhaps, that he is a hypocrite.... you know, berating Barack when he thinks no one can hear and than "appologizing" when he is caught.  The "Reverend" is all blow and no go.  

Anonymous said...

good luck with the job, Mark!! I'm sure you'll do great at it!!

I thought that Pearls before Swine was a cute one!

take care of yourself!

betty



Anonymous said...

Mark,

If it helps any, even when you try and stay involved in your kids lives when you move on (I got divorced 10 years ago), know that it is not easy.  I get thwarted at every turn, and we are resolved to wait until they are young adults to reconnect (they are both teenagers now).  

Good luck with work, 8 hours is doable, just pace yourself and do not come out of the gate to gung-ho :o)