THE SERIES AIN'T A SERIES ...
... till someone loses a home game. Things have been going so well for me since I have been back, the setbacks small and the only major issue, that my eldest girl isn't into giving me a chance, was expected. I will keep at her, and who knows what will happen. Hopefully we will get together and share some good times with each other.
But finally two large things went awry this week ... the job that I thought I had, I don't. Seems that my Social Security would be revoked if I were to take the job because I would earn too much money. I do intend on taking a chance and getting 'back on the grid', just not now and not in Detroit, if that can be helped. As difficult as it is to find work, there aren't too many 'custom opportunities' available, if you know what I mean ... a job that is willing to let me come in for a couple of days a week for a few hours and such ...
... oh, and AKA and I fell out as well.
I don't think anything permanently damaging to our relationship was done, but I didn't care to play in her 'hypothetical' game. So she got mad, and I went along in my way. But trying to shake of the 'feeling' has been hard. It would have been nice to have worked at a place that could have been so functional in my life ... getting hotel discounts and such. Not only that, perhaps when I relocate, I would have been able to move right into a job as well.
So now, I have to deal with some unexpected problems. The swing emotionally is what I worry about. Already grinding away at things ... and when you are doing that, setbacks are magnified. But what am I to do? The goal, of going out west and leaving Detroit hasn't changed. Maybe the timing will change as this will affect other things that must be done before I leave. Trying to stay 'on message' and not let my imagination take flight would have been the only challenge I would have had to deal with, along with Skye.
... anyway ...
AS A MAN THINKETH
I was in my 'tweens' when my Mom gave me that book. She had a lot of questions that she couldn't answer about her oldest son, and he had some questions that she didn't quite have a fix on either. So she gave me books and this was one of them.
My first literary hero was Richard Wright. 'Black Boy' was a classic but I most identified with his 'anti-hero' Cross Damon in the 'Outsider'. Between him and Ellison's 'Invisible Man' with a little bit of Orwell's 'Winston', a big part of my character was shaped. Other outside forces applied pressure to it, and it developed cracks.
I am going to change some aspects to my personal philosophy. I have been really thinking about what is going to change, and the changes will begin rightnow, not at some point in the future. That is what spurred the firefight between AKA and I, that I don't want to be the same, that I don't want to be where you think I am trending. Going to find something new, and do that for a bit. Take what I think will work, and liberally add what I BELIEVE will work, and go with it.
Time to go and get me some cookies ... and go home a watch the telly ... this DirectTV is addictive ..!