Friday, July 11, 2008

A Veritable Hit ...

THE SERIES AIN'T A SERIES ...

... till someone loses a home game.  Things have been going so well for me since I have been back, the setbacks small and the only major issue, that my eldest girl isn't into giving me a chance, was expected.  I will keep at her, and who knows what will happen.  Hopefully we will get together and share some good times with each other.

But finally two large things went awry this week ... the job that I thought I had, I don't.  Seems that my Social Security would be revoked if I were to take the job because I would earn too much money.  I do intend on taking a chance and getting 'back on the grid', just not now and not in Detroit, if that can be helped.  As difficult as it is to find work, there aren't too many 'custom opportunities' available, if you know what I mean ... a job that is willing to let me come in for a couple of days a week for a few hours and such ...

... oh, and AKA and I fell out as well.

I don't think anything permanently damaging to our relationship was done, but I didn't care to play in her 'hypothetical' game.  So she got mad, and I went along in my way.  But trying to shake of the 'feeling' has been hard.  It would have been nice to have worked at a place that could have been so functional in my life ... getting hotel discounts and such.  Not only that, perhaps when I relocate, I would have been able to move right into a job as well.

So now, I have to deal with some unexpected problems.  The swing emotionally is what I worry about.  Already grinding away at things ... and when you are doing that, setbacks are magnified.  But what am I to do?  The goal, of going out west and leaving Detroit hasn't changed.  Maybe the timing will change as this will affect other things that must be done before I leave.  Trying to stay 'on message' and not let my imagination take flight would have been the only challenge I would have had to deal with, along with Skye.

... anyway ...

AS A MAN THINKETH

I was in my 'tweens' when my Mom gave me that book.  She had a lot of questions that she couldn't answer about her oldest son, and he had some questions that she didn't quite have a fix on either.  So she gave me books and this was one of them.

My first literary hero was Richard Wright.  'Black Boy' was a classic but I most identified with his 'anti-hero' Cross Damon in the 'Outsider'.  Between him and Ellison's 'Invisible Man' with a little bit of Orwell's 'Winston', a big part of my character was shaped.  Other outside forces applied pressure to it, and it developed cracks.

I am going to change some aspects to my personal philosophy.  I have been really thinking about what is going to change, and the changes will begin rightnow, not at some point in the future.  That is what spurred the firefight between AKA and I, that I don't want to be the same, that I don't want to be where you think I am trending.  Going to find something new, and do that for a bit.  Take what I think will work, and liberally add what I BELIEVE will work, and go with it.

Time to go and get me some cookies ... and go home a watch the telly ... this DirectTV is addictive ..!

 

6 comments:

dougsbabygirl31 said...

Direct TV is addictive!!!! I have it too, although I am so busy that I watch but not as much as I used to... got an ninteresting entry coming up on my child support thing....

Tawnya

luvrte66 said...

I'm sorry to hear that you've had a couple of setbacks. I know you will prevail.

Beth

lsfp1960 said...

Sounds like you have somepositive plans for your future.  That's a good thing.  I don't have Direct TV...am not even sure what it's all about.  I see ads for it on the TV but have never really figured out the concept. I'm satisfied with Comcast Cable.   I watched "The Bucket List" last night on Comcast.   Ahhh a cookie~good idea.  Linda in sunny & warm western Washington

toonguykc said...

You never win playing someone's hypothetical games.  Good call.  You handle setbacks so much better than most people...well, me at least.

Russ

lv2trnscrb said...

I don't have Direct TV; don't watch much TV LOL, always online

that is too bad about the job, but don't give up; when you get on the computer, checkout Craigslist.com and see if they have an area for your town and see if they have any part-time jobs; my son found his first job there (actually I did, but you know what I mean); they have a wide array of jobs listed too; just a thought

I agree, keep pursuing your daughter; she might be waiting around to see if you are serious about a relationship and wants to make sure you are before she commits (I know you are serious about one with her)

betty

buckoclown said...

Don't let the DirectTV get the better of you.  It is so easy to vegetate.  Keep up with the positive changes you have been going after :o)