Saturday, June 28, 2008



... and repeated lines of thought (didn't he write about this stuff on Tuesday ..?) when I read over this thing.  So I am always super flattered that someone would mention this journal where others may read it.  My thanks go out to Ken a.k.a "Bucko" who mentioned me in his stint as guest editor.

Also, I want to give a shout to Lisa41076, who went to Alaska and sent me a postcard.  That was super cool of her, and makes me want to go out that way all the more!


I will have to try to listen to it again later this week.  The first story really touched me, about two guys who had fell into homelessness.  The one guy, had a successful sort of life, fell into struggle, lost his job, wife and home.  His friend, who had come back into his life prior to his descent, was there when the eviction came.

They were homeless together, with the friend having been homeless before, 'knew the ropes'.  The talked about the different stages of being homeless, and how they were able to manage to make their way fine.  The two of them once had dreams of being writers, and one with a laptop computer, the other going to a library, they began to write poetry and perform in spoken word around NYC. 

It wasn't long before they developed a following, and they began to dream about maybe making a bigger splash of what the were doing.  Of course, it was not to be, but what got me was that after all that, that they were glad for the life that the were living, had lived.  They wouldn't want to go back to 'the world', and that they were fine with where they were, with the hope and aspirations still a part of their make up, though it was much humbler than most people would have thought.

I heard a lot of myself in that story.  My 'modest' goals are modest by whose standards?  I know how challenging that my life is and prolly will be.  I have 'flashes' of realization, that maybe what I am wanting is out of reach.  Then, it is also best that your reach exceeds your grasp, so that you can make the effort.

When I said that Skye and me had similiar decisions to make at nearly similiar ages, I meant just that.  I think I was 12 when I made what was a conscious decision to make my Dad a part of my life.  I would walk from 48219 to 48227 and visit with my steps and their Mom.  We grew to have a relationship, for better or worse.  I remember seeing him at one of my biggest wins as an amateur, and I remember him totin' my Mom down to see me graduate basic training.  Not to mention a 'didi-mow' from the flat me and my first wife lived in after an arguement ... and he wordlessly took me back, though I am sure he wanted to say I was doing the best thing by leaving (no, it was just me, her, and BJ at the time) and staying gone.

It may well be that she'll come around.  My Best Sister spoke to me about it yesterday.  She told me to just make it a point of letting her know that my door is always open to her.  Whatever it is that she has to deal with, let her, and in time she will come around.  First, I agreed, as she IS a girl and is dealing with this from a girls point of view.  Second, I had to step back and look at her ... my little sister with such good, thoughtful advice!  Since everyone sync's us together, I was glad to have been a good enough role model for her!


... good movie.  The Japenese version a tad bit more frightening, but if reading ain't your thing, you prolly won't think so.

Now, what should I do with it?  Though I could use some money, I don't NEED the money.  Whatever I got for it wouldn't make or break me.  But the further I move away from being with Mookie, the less of a reason I have to keep it.  There was a thought to give it to one of my girls, but that seems sorta crappy a thought.  What made the ring special to me, is that it was for A PERSON, not some person.  They will need to experience the gift of a ring that is special for them.

Part of what make sense 'keeping it', is that I think that some of my desire for a loving relationship will go with it.  I have kind of felt a chill with women and what they expect out of their lives, and it ain't such a good thing, this 'I don't need somebody', response I get.

No one NEEDS someone to SHARE.  You have to WANT to do it.  I am sort of wondering if I am going to want to ...

... anyway, I wouldn't mind having it appraised at a pawnshop ... wonder how much they think it is worth?


Cool song by the Stone Roses.  I remember how Tee Jay found herself really liking that song.  The Stone Roses were cool.

Another tune that I can't get out of my head right now, is 'That's Entertainment' by The Jam.  Paul Weller's voice does most of the heavy lifting in that song.  Very cool song.

Uh, no reason for any of that ... just thoughts in my head and they wanted to get out ...


luvrte66 said...

Mark, I wouldn't place too much "mojo" on the ring. It is merely an object, and it does not hold your hopes for a relationship within it--that's within YOU.


buckoclown said...

Perhaps the Ring is a burden, and getting rid of it may in a way, set you free.

toonguykc said...

To (once again) quote Suzanne Sugarbaker: "You know what ya'll's problem is?  You think too much!"  A ring is a ring -- and the feelings and thoughts about it are already safely locked away in your head.

I'm a 'guest editor' next week.  Kinda dreading it.


lv2trnscrb said...

I'd sell the ring, Mark; you bought the ring for Mookie's and your relationship; if you choose to buy a ring for another lady down the road, I think you would choose something meaningful for you and her at the time; just my thought

that was interesting about the homeless guys; I don't think what you are wanting is out of reach; I really don't; I think you are one of the more realistic down to earth people I know


rdautumnsage said...

I don't see the typos, I see the man behind the words. I was delighted to see you were one of Ken's editor picks. Well deserved in my book. As for the ring...I would let it go. In my opinion there isn't a woman out there that wants to be second best in the ring dept. I would want something that was chosen especially for me and wasn't a reminder of the finger it used to be on. Skye will come around, my own daughter did (ironically named Skye also). Some times kids have to grow up to discover what an honor it is to have the parents they've been blessed with. (Hugs)Indigo