Monday, June 9, 2008

... I guess I was a little off ...


Okay ... going to Nebraska ISN'T until next year ... I knew letting that cat out of the bag when I did was too soon.  As to the weather, I know how to stay in the house!  I have a sister staioned in Kansas, and a few good friends in Kansas City.  Not to mention I just WANT to go there ... the same way I wanted to go to Carolina, and I think that I would do well in Arizona ... no sensible reason other than I just 'think it would be cool'.

And so it will be, going to Nebraska.

As to 'swallowing' my emotions with Mookie, it isn't that I am trying to run from them, or not feel them because I do.  Just last night, the thought popped into my mind to call and ask for a 'conversation' about trying once more ... the thing is, that because most everything else is going so well for me personally, I don't want to be getting all weepy and melancholy about her.  Joyce Carole Oates said in a Reader's Digest, that "Revenge is living well, without you."

Yes, I am sad about things, and I miss Mookie and lil' Mook terribly.  Time is going to fill that hole, not me.  Besides, I need to take a different tack with MY SKYE.


My Dad made me get a cell phone.  Not too bad ... and that is the number I gave to AKA's Pops, if he needs an 'Man Friday'.  After a little bit of thought, I have decided to be less available for him, as he has TWO ADULT SONS, as well as a daughter (they have a lobbyist or something politico sister in Lansing) to call on.

They should be able to help them get whatever he needs done, done.  Besides, I feel like the 'dumbest guy in the room' around them, not intellectually, but that they 'know' something that is obvious, but I don't.

Yet I do.  Their daughter is a mess, and I am too polite to mention it.  But I might ... anyway, I am not going to get caught up with all that crap ...

I am going to put more into getting with Skye, beginning with leaving the library today.  Now, the idea I have isn't something that is going to be approved of, but with 'boots on the ground', you kind of make decisions to fit the situation.

I am just going to show the hell up.

See, she is supposed to be leaving in July, to go to California.  I want to see her before she goes.  My thing is to make her look at me and tell me how she feels, and not where I am guessing.  As to her Mother, she is into all that kind of drama, and I figure she would actually welcome the action, as it makes sense in her world (You know, the kind that says, "If you really cared, you would have fought me back," ... YES SHE SAID THAT ). 

Won't put any heavy or deep things in the air ... I just want to see her, and wish her well.  Get a hug, and go on about my business.  I will be here when she gets back, and I guess will really start from there.


luvrte66 said...

Good luck with your meeting, my friend. Sometimes you just have to take the plunge.

As for Drama with a capital D. Ugh! I'll never understand anyone who has to have some kind of emotional drama going on constantly. That takes way too much energy, energy that could be better put to worthy endeavors.

Take care and good luck!


lv2trnscrb said...

whenever you go to Nebraska will the right time for you, Mark; I know it took you some planning to get to Detroit from where you were with Mookie so I'm sure the same planning needs to go with getting to Nebraska;

I hope it went well when you confronted Skye; I would think she would want you in her life; I know I would have wanted a dad in my life and although I may have had misgivings at the start, I would want to do my best to try to establish a relationship

good for you getting a cell phone; they are so handy in emergencies; I rarely use mine, but like the comfort of having it just in case

I think its natural to miss Mookie/Lil Mook; you were with them for a period of time, you are getting used to a new routine, but the familiar always looks good for a bit (at least for me it does)