Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Risks We Take


At the very least, lessons for life.  In a recent issue of Sports Illustrated, a columist describes a three day bull riding camp he attended for a first person experience.  He had did something similiar, getting into the ring to spar with a former 126 lbs. boxing champion.  Even though he weighs 185 lbs., he left the ring with and bruised ribs.  But this was different.  The bull, he said ...  "unlike a boxer who can recoginize your limitations, doesn't care ... he just wants you off his back".

One of the participants, a former soldier, would suffer fatal injuries while learning how to ride a bull.  The writer, was thrown like a missle off of the bull on his ride.  A man has to push himself, physically, to know his limits.  I don't know what would be an intellectual equivalent, but I stick by the assertion made in another journal about sports being one of the greatest inventions of man.  There are things that we do everyday that involves risk, and for men, it takes a measure of character.  Not like females who can figure things out, but our role is one where we must have a tactile (now, THAT is a good word ..!) involvement in the gaining of skills.  So we have to do things, to know how far we will go in the pursuit of something ...

... including love.


Last nights episode of 'How I Met Your Mother', one of the characters ran into a boyfriend from the long ago.  Despite having 'won', you know, moved on in her life to bigger and better things while he was still stuck in his past, she instead went back to the same awestruck teenager she was when she first met him ... despite her having a budding career in TV news, while he was still living at home with his Mom, working at a water park and chasing the dream of being a rock star!  The relationship even ended the same way it did the first time!

I looked at the other end of the couch (we haven't sat close to each other watching TV in the past two years), where Mookie was having a crap conversation with a sister.  She doesn't do 'irony' and wouldn't have gotten it anyway.  But I wondered if she thought I would be EXACTLY the same person I was when we were younger.  No Sweetie, I didn't think she would be the same person ... I have been around the block, and I know better.  But I know what I am, and I know what I would EXPECT her to be.  So I took a shot.

But I wonder if she thought ... well, they say we marry our parents, and I am wondering if she saw some of her Dad in me.  He doesn't mess too much in the affairs of the girls, and he tends to be quiet around them ... but after that, I don't see it.  Never was like that, and in fact, I know that there had to be some grist between me and at least one of the girls ... that I still don't like her is proof enough for me.

Well, you live and learn ... still think the principle of trying a 'do over' is sound, but perhaps I went back too far.  I don't think Mookie has matured enough to recognize love and how to behave in a real relationship.  Can't go too deep into it, but by any measure, she has only had two in her 36 years ... WITH ME ..!



On 'Two and a Half Men', Charley, man about town and regular playboy, has really racheted up his 'game', picking up women and eventually getting beaten up by their boyfriend/husbands.  Seems the one girl who he really fell for is getting married and he is trying to cope with really losing the person he cared for.

His therapist talks with him, and tries to get him to work through the loss, the relationship grief.  Charley is in denial and he comes up with the grand idea of going back and trying to stop her wedding and win her back.  BUZZ! Wrong answer!  Now, as to what MY therapist tells me, that will have to keep until May, but I have never tried to stop ANYONE from moving on, even my Delta Girl, who I believe wanted me to come and get her ... can't put my finger on why, but I could ask Pecan Sandie ... something about it made her think ... you know, prolly best to let sleeping dogs lie, don't you think?  After all, accurate or not, it is cool to believe that she did want me back ... whether or not she did, should I care?

Boost that ego!

Anyway, remembering that specific time, it isn't all that pleasant for me anyhow.  My career started to skid, Pecan Sandie WASN'T  the sweet little cookie I had thought she would be, and 'the little apple' had a worm in it ...


Geez ... I was TIRED of finding reasons to leave folks ... couldn't I try to find a few to stay?  It isn't like they weren't there for me to cling to, I just didn't.  What has happened with Mookie is that the negatives effects of the relationship has finally drew close to the positive benefits of the relationship ... and it shouldn't be less than 3-to-1 ratio of good to bad ... I am striving for a 9-to-1 of myself, if not higher!  Got to shoot for the stars if you want to land on the moon ..!

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