... there's the way you talk ...

… when you WANT a job (punch line from a Chris Rock joke)

I can’t believe how little of the NCAA tournament I’ve watched this year!! It has been a mini-tradition for me to get my ‘basketball jones’ on the first weekend of the tournament. There has been times where I have scheduled vacay’s for just this time of year.

This season, for obvious reasons, I have been distracted. I don’t know much about the teams or really have an interest in any of the games not involving Carolina and State. The Mook’s had changed up and left, when Mookie came back home, claiming she had forgotten some things in the kitchen. She goes in and gathers her things, and then she says, “You really don’t want to come have dinner over my Mother’s?”

COME HERE CALL

Now, I consider myself someone who has studied the fairer sex, and yes Madeline, I consider myself quite successful at it. Being raised in a de-facto matriarchy gave me ample opportunity to pay attention to the small, finer, details of the female character.

By no means do I consider myself an expert or master or any of that crap. There ain’t no puffery here. Anyone who fashions himself as an expert of women is delusional. But there are certain things that I have come to pick up here and there, and what I call, ‘the come here call’ is one of the things that I have observed in females.

I never thought of my family as ‘large’ but I have 9 male cousins, and there are 11 boys when you add me & my brother to that. The twins, my sisters didn’t show up for until I landed in jr. high, so for the longest there was my one female cousin and my sister, Jan.

Whenever there was a mixing of the families, there were more boys than girls, and boys being boys, we were prone to all sorts of mischief. An Aunt (sometimes your own MOTHER) would call out a name whenever something was going on, usually the wrong name. Whether or not she got the right name, the belt knew who she was talking about!

So that got me to listening more to the tone of how someone speaks. Pick up little things in the sound of their voices, particular the ladies.

Standing on the sidelines watching others ‘hook up’ in high school, I was really watching how just before the tears and keying of cars, there would be a ‘moment’ that if a cat was listening, he would know that there was something coming down the way, and if he could act, perhaps he could avoid trouble.

As a young man, both in the service and in college, I think I refined my ability to identify this phenomenon, but I couldn’t name it. As I watched, moving in and out of relationships myself, there always seemed to be that point, just after the gifts and the car repairs, after the dinners and the fantastic sex but before the slashed tires, hang up calls in the early morning, insinuations of perversions and failed test (for pregnancy and HIV), where a little sincerity could maybe deflect some of the emotion.

Hmmm. Point taken and so noted.

THE NAME

Dating Tee Jay was a positive experience. I was cool with her Mom, as she lived at home. We got along really well, because we knew some of the same people from her days at Chrysler. One day, I was visiting and sitting in her den, along with Tee, her daughter and a couple of her adult cousins, watching some telly. From the kitchen, Moms calls out, ‘Mark …’.

So not moving an inch, I reply, ‘What?’ The room grew silent and eyes turned.

“Baby,” Tee began, “that was a COME HERE CALL. That means, you get up and you go see what Momma wants!”

So that is what I call the moment just after a woman gets ready to lose her mind and actually does, got its name. Now, this is still MARCH … May is a little bit away. Yesterday I packed my books, and could prolly do an extraction at this point, but not a Didi-mow, elbows and a--holes gentlemen … LET MOVE thing. And I do feel I have earn the right to leave as I please.

So that is how it came to pass that I found myself keeping Mook’s father company after dinner on Easter Sunday! He looks forward to our conversation, and I don’t mind. Much.

If your bread falls from the table, even if you aren’t going to eat it, you still want it butter side up, right?

OTHER STUFF

In the Freep, Mitch Albom (of ‘Tuesday’s With Morrie’ fame) wrote an interesting piece about the Gov. Spitzer scandal. He talks about how weird it is that the woman, who is like it or not, by trade a prostitute, finds herself on the edges of celebrity, with offers of money to pose in Hustler as well as to do adds, for essentially being part of a criminal enterprise.

I find it strange too. Ever since Paris Hilton broke, it seems that everyone from Tila Tequila to those crappy Karadashians, have found fame and notorious notoriety by being, well, HOE’s.

Anyone knows what is up with that?

OH … ANOTHER LESSON FROM MOM …

Not all reader’s leave comments, and I am cool with that. One somebody didn’t understand how it is that I could let Pecan Sandie emasculate me, by hinting that Lexxie was a ‘drama queen’ like her Father. Oh, and I wonder if anyone else was surprised at Lexxie and I sleeping together.

Reversing the order, it comes naturally. My Mom and my sibs had our own beds, and separate rooms. Some how, we ended up together, with my Mom singing ‘Que Sera’ until we drifted off to sleep. I know with all the pedophila stuff going on, one might be worried …

But how inconsistent are we as a society, when we celebrate a hooker and look suspiciously at a Father being a father? Besides, if it isn’t right for you, that IS what it is for you …

As to Sandie pickin’ at me … blame that on the black matriarch complex. Never really ‘learned’ how to be so called ‘manly’. So there are things about my bearing that is, well, effeminate. But I do come with a ‘package’ and that is her trying to get my goat. So what. It is what you answer to that counts, and I know my name well enough! Got that from my Moms ..!

Besides, when there is a strange noise coming up from the basement, or a spider in the shower, who are YOU going to call..?

IT’S THE MAN WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE ..! (I think his name is Mark!)

Enjoy Eerk & Jerk!