OUTTA MY MIND ON A THURSDAY MORNING ...
There was a columist for the Freep who would use that line for columns like this post ... stuff that is on my mind, but doesn't fit neatly into subject header ... sooo ...
I have been a jerk to women. Of course, I don't think so, but then the hawks think the sheep taste delicious and can't understand why the sheep curse them so!
Why, so it seems, are girls such willing participants in bad relations? Why, as it seems to me, are they so ignorant of a good relationship? It boggles my mind, the better I try to be, the less intersted in the relationship that the woman becomes.
Takes a certain set of people, I guess, to actually join together and form a union. There isn't a formula or anything that you can take to MAKE yourself into a good partner. It takes a lot of work.
Some women seem to operate independent of self critque. 'How's that workin' for you?', is something Dr. Phil likes to ask, and it is the same thing that I would ask some of these women. My first wife is someone I would REALLY like to 'study' (I am a people watcher, and love to look at folks and 'predict' what kind of person they are) her, for instance, as she has made it to the big dance twice now, but lost both times. She doesn't seem to be much changed from when I met her, so I am really wanting to ask her if she has thought about making not sweeping, but small changes.
But I won't ever get that chance. It isn't just that we aren't friends (at least she believes we are), but I wouldn't care for her at all had I not made the colossal mistake of asking her out in the first place! Of all the episodes in my life, asking her out was the only one I can honestly say I was trying to act out of character.
And I paid for that.
THIS IS WHY I RUN ... (and hop, and skip, and jump!)
Just got off the scale ... 215.5, which isn't bad. Not going to grief myself over it, because I am still trying very hard to avoid junk food and still getting in some work.
But it is much more than that. Self-esteem is doubled by getting in shape, because not only do you look better, you become more confident. Though this past winter was rough, I liked when people would ask, 'How can you run in this cold?' I would smile and tell them that it was easy, and often they would reply, 'I couldn't do it', and I would think to myself, 'yeah, I know'.
No matter what your day was like, the time that you spend working on your body is all upside. The chemical stuff, the endorphins and all that, you know about. But the sheer FACT that you did something that is so unmistakably positive for you and your life is the biggest reason I encourage people to work out.
Look, I love full figured women. Period. But I don't think that I want, say Jill Scott to drop down to a size 6. I would want her to work out to feel good about herself, no matter what happened during the day, and it gives you something to reflect upon tomorrow.
The 'I know you can't' factor is absolutely huge too. People respect you for what you do, and that you can accomplish something that is so clear and devoid of anything unseemly is such a boost.
The psychology of fitness is what has me hooked. That keeping fit and in shape is super critical to for my health is like super good news ... cause I was going to do this stuff ANYWAY ...
I would like to run a personal training service, just a few clients and we'd work in a small place, just equipment and the willingness to feel better and grow. My out look is more spiritual than physical. Feel better, and that will translate into looking better.
One of the things about being in the service and especially basic training, is that you see that when you are not given the option of quitting, you CAN do the things that you think you can't. That is big. You can use that attitude and approach in other aspects of your life. It is such a trump card, that you can say that you can honestly do something like run 5 miles or lift 220lbs.
IT IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
That is another thing that fitness training means to me, at least. Relationships with how the world looks at you, how you look at others, and the most important one of all, how you look at yourself. When you do something that good, you will feel good. It will change your outlook on MANY things, and allow you to see things more clear, and in sharper focus.
It is similiar to how kids used to tease me about reading books and things that dealt with becoming a better student. I could see who was real and who was not. Working out will do that for you as well. It isn't that you can't party and hang out, but not as much. When folks start raggin' on you, it is at first because they don't understand. Real friends will get on board.
The people that don't, the kids call them 'haters'. Beset by their own insecurities and lack of self worth, they will continue to tear you down, whether or not they are accurate or not, it shouldn't matter, not to YOU. All you need is your belief that you are doing something to improve yourself, and you will get there.
Well, that is enough for one entry. Just what is on my mind this morning.