... what is behind the curtain

As much as I would like to identify with Eli Manning and allow myself to 'project' myself in his victory, I can't.  My 'moment' came on a late summer's night in Las Vegas  1981, wher I could have 'shared' and been a part of someone else's ultimate victory.  What Eli victory DID do for me, was to guide me down streets where the shops are closed and the tenaments empty.  I would walk past vacant lots in with weed choking the grass, and the flats in disrepair.

What a thing to say about a person ...

While I admire and respect the accomplishments of Muhammad Ali, I never liked him or came close to embracing him.  He wasn't my cup a tea.  Though I was too young to be aware of why I wanted someone to beat him, I did know enough to not care for his flamboyance.

My step dad put me in the mind of Smokin' Joe, and I liked him.  There was an HBO special on the 'Fight of the Century', the first bout between Joe and Ali, and that, along with 'When We Were Kings' are good viewing and time well spent.

But the cat that I really liked, a cat I never saw do his thing live, and even as I was coming up, was spoke of with a reverence that only the likes of Tony Soprano and Don Corelone hold, a fighter who is almost as responsible for Ali being Ali as Muhammad is himself, Sonny Liston.

Charles 'Sonny' Liston made everyone do a 'manhood check' as he walked past.  His fist may as well be named Doom and Malice, because that is how he carried himself.  I used to laugh when young Mike Tyson was compared to being as great an intimidator as Sonnuy Liston.  As John Houseman used to say, Sonny's rep came the hard way -- he earned it!

When I would watch the replays of the old fights, in black and white with the smoky hovering the ring, Sonny oozed meance.  Unlike Tyson, Sonny did hard time, and for a while was a strike breaker for the mob ... Sonny was feared, because he WAS a nighmare walking ... Sonny was the guy that tough guys scared their children with stories of ...

A few years ago, Sports Illustrated ran an article about Sonny, and that was where my admiration for him as a boxer turned into an identification. 

Where the comparison pales between him and young Mike Tyson pales is in their paths to the title.  Tyson had connections that moved him to the title without facing almost any top ten fighter before he got his shot.  Sonny, even though he was the Mob's 'house' fighter, had to earn his shot.  When he finally fought Floyd Patterson, he had beaten so many top fighters that he had no choice but to fight him.

AND HERE IT IS ... When Sonny had that fight made, the was a huge backlash from the press and the public.  He had a criminal record and was a known associate to Mobsters.  Black leader felt that he would set back the civil rights movement so they asked Floyd not to fight him.  But as I said, Sonny had beaten so many top guys, there weren't really anyone else for the champ to fight.

Sonny did what everyone feared he would do.  First round KO.  But here in the story in Sports Illustrated, did I make my connection to him.  See, as he was on the plane to his adopted hometown of Philadelphia, he spoke relaxed and expectantly of how he would 'address the people' that were waiting for him to return, and how he would ease the fears of the black leaders.

But when he stepped off the plane, save for a few reporters, and some airport workers, no one came to see the new Champ.  And it was at that sight, he forever gave up hope of ever being a part of the crowd.  He would always be the bad guy, no matter what he did.

I know what that feels like.  To think that you have earned redemption, only to discover that it doesn't work for you.  This is why I choose to controll the language I use and restrain myself from thoughts that diminsh me.  Because like Sonny, I know the score, and I won't ever be part of the crowd, or loved by them.  But that is cool.  It is what it is.

But what I remember the most about that article, was what Larry Merchant, who then worked for a Philadelphia newspaper wrote:

"And so it is true, in a fair fight between good and evil, evil must always win."

What a terrible thing to say!  I did have the opportunity to address that with him at a James Toney fight.  I just know that feeling that Sonny had too well, and I have had words said too similar to those written about him. 

I just wanted Eli to win, so that I could trust in my thinking to make sense ... didn't intend for it to kick up stuff that was in the ground ...