Saturday, January 26, 2008

... when an ill wind blows ...

 
… no really, what do YOU do ..?
 
At some point during the week, either late Tuesday or early Wednesday, I took off and misplaced my watch.  It is a simple Timex Iron Man that I picked up on sale from Meijer’s.  The Movado and Tag Huer days are in the long gone … the Timex fits all my needs.  Especially the most important one, of simply keeping time and date for me.  
 
               Knowing where I am relative to the stream of time is uber important to me.  Between some mostly forgotten Malcolm X quote to just knowing where I relate in how we measure the universe, having a watch on to keep time is important for me.  So every thing feels a little distorted, not fun house mirror, but the buzz distortion from a beer.  
 
               So Thursday I was able to muscle through just on my ‘want-to’ and determination.  But today was going to be different, and I felt thatlast night.  ‘Senior moments’ take a special significance for me, so I had to steadymyself.  “I was forgetful at my best,” I told myself.  “And making do with what you have is a natural thing, Mark.”
 
               I woke up early as usual.  Lil’ Mook was not going to school and Mookie was in bed, not going to work.  She had a concert at a casino that was a nice piece away from here.  Have to mention, as she is a big LL Cool J fan, that when Interpol and TV on the Radio came to Motown, couldn’t swing time to get me up and down, and as to Jill Scott …
 
               But I am good with that.  No really, I am.  The burr is that of all her siblings, and there are 5, the only one that I have NEVER LIKED is the one she is went with …
 
… now, back to our regularly scheduled programme …
 
The way out is through
         -NIN song title, ‘The Fragile’
 
               When I was eating steak and salad, earning loot from being able to beat people up, I was a big fan of the ‘No Fear’ brand.  ‘No Fear’ made tee shirts with ‘attitude’ and many of them were sports related.  I have only a few of them, in fact the one that came to mind this morning as I faced my personal anxieties, I no longer own … it was a favourite that was worn to tatters.  It said only this –  FACE YOUR FEARS LIVE YOUR DREAMS
 
               It would have been accepted if I went around the house, and let my inner turmoil keep me inside and away from the world.  I had to stay home anyway with lil’ Mook.  So just lay around, do a little housekeeping, and let the world pass me by.  I made my journal entry and I remembered that shirt … ‘live your dreams’, it said. 

               I got up, got dressed so that I could get a run in. I didn't know how cold it was in Mid-Michigan, but I know enough to just run 2 miles and call it a day!  Did my exercises, went with Mookie and sprayed off her car and aired up her tires.  She drove me to the library where I was able to get a film, ‘Frailty’ for my evening.  I joked a little with lil’ Mook before she sequestered herself on the computer for the majority of the night.  Too bad I didn’t get to share this movie with anyone … but maybe I will share it later … may even watch it again, just to get it set in.

3 comments:

katerh99 said...

So, did you ever find your watch?

rdautumnsage said...

Those days get easier and easier...when you take a deep breathe steel yourself against your fears and just do it! I'm proud of you hon, you didn't give in and made the most out of the day. (Hugs) Indigo

dca721 said...

Just Curious as to where in MI you are?
Each time you mention your location, I wonder, where?
I was born in Detroit.
Now I am North of Chesterfield Township.
My Mom was born in Port Austin MI.
Relatives and memories of summers past as a kid are buried there.
Just curious & nothing more.
YOU can email me the info if you chose too.
Have a good day.
D
Donna