Thursday, January 31, 2008

... mood choices are incomplete


Yesterday I made a comment about the show, 'The Biggest Loser'.  I said I was confused at the low amount of weight lost and the weight gains.  The reason that I am confused is that in my experience with 'training tables' where you are in that kind of atmoshphere, having your food choices limited, the only way to gain weight is to have cheated, either in working out or by 'leaving the reservation' and going off the diet program ...

... that is what furrowed my brow ... now on with the show ...

I am wondering what the new show, "Oliver Stone" is going to be like.  The commercials give me the impression that music plays a particular role in his life, with certain songs coming to him, and working to help him make sense of life.

HEY ... I do that!!!

I know I am not alone.  I still let songs carry emotions for me.  I am wondering if my musical tastes will ever 'age' as I try to find the current songs that appeal to me instead of sticking to the songs that are already in my 'mental song catalouge'.  The idea for the show seems so common, that ANYONE could have came up with it.  But there are a lot of factors that come into play, and one of them is the actual process of leading a life that puts you in a place where your moment of inspiration meets with life's opening up for your opportunity ... how Peyton Manning's moment is going to open up this Sunday!

... but no one REALLY remembers the conference semifinalist!

There is a phrased used in sports to motivate folks ... "no one remembers who lost the Super Bowl", to inspire you to push a little harder to win what ever your 'Super Bowl' may be, to get you to strive for your moment to be excellent to happen precisely when opportunity shows itself.  Mixing metaphor, I substitute the NCAA basketball brackets (Michigan State is a special team ... Final Four written all over it ..!) for mine.  There is a little more wiggle room, and seems more like life ... I would say that no one remembers who lost their second game in 'March Madness' ...  The point that I am gettingto, is that I have been married before and divorced. 

Like some teams that will grab an invitation to March Madness, perhaps I didn't deserve to be married.  Don't matter, because I have been.  That to me, means I made it into the tournament, and went all the way to the championship game, deserving or not.  There is a certain confidence that comes from having scaled such heights, even if you only do it once, even if it may have ended totally uncool.  Single folks have no idea of what that kind of pressure is like.

There is only one 'first time' to jump out of a plane ... only one 'first time' to have summit a mountain.  Doesn't matter if it was just for fun, skydiving or if the moutain wasn't part of a great range.  Because you made it, the achievement is notable and worth remembering.

I have danced in the 'big dance' of relationships.  Like it or not, I can claim to know what it takes to at the very least to get to the finals.  Now, I do wonder if I will ever win one ...


That show on Bravo, 'The Millionaire Matchmaker' really is something I can identify with ... not the 'Millionaire' part, but the being so socially awkard part ... I like to think that I know how these cats came to feel so out of sorts when it comes to investigating and finding women.

I remember when I finally got over the barrier.  Fortunately, it was when I was a teen.  There was some family gathering, and one of my Aunts, who is a big boxing fan, made the comment that, 'they'll be looking for another Sugar Ray Leonard, Mark so get ready.  You certainly have the looks!'

Normally I would downplay when my Mom or any of my Aunts would remark on how 'cute' I was or how much I had grown.  EVERYBODY Aunts say that about their nieces' and nephews'.  That never had meant much to me, because outside the walls of my family, I wasn't so highly regarded.

But at that moment, those were the words I needed to hear.  I remember at some point going into the bathroom and looking at myself, without a shirt on.  And it was the first time that I did something that I will prolly do soon, take inventory of myself, in an objective fashion.

I saw a kid whohad a acne-free face, no scarring of any kind on it.  Thick but with out that undevloped flab on my middle, and the beginning of rounded shoulders ... not only that, I was smart, pleasant, and a promising kid ... maybe my Aunt WAS right ..?


So not looking forward to Valentine's day ... I have to 'manifest' to be a part of the same everday that everyone else lives in, and I don't particularly feel like doing that right now.  Not feeling appreciated will do that to a person.

Do think I will do a one-man Super Bowl party.  Saw some nice things on 'Emril Live' that I wouldn't be adverse to getting together.  I don't mind cooking and getting little things like that together.  Even if Mookie had cool enough friends to come over and act like they had some sense ... she does have family nearby ... maybe they would come by ... but I don't think they would be into the game enough to make it worth it ...


lv2trnscrb said...

they may not be into the game, but they may like the fellowship of being together as family/friends and of course enjoying whatever you "cook" up for them. I would go for it for a Super Bowl party and invite any and all; you might be surprised at how well it comes out

I can understand your feelings about Valentine's Day; not about Valentine's Day per se, but to be aware of a holiday coming up that might be hard to get through and to be constantly reminded of it whenever you go to the store; I felt like that two Christmas' ago.

I really need to start watching more TV; that Oliver Stone show seems interesting too

enjoy the day


toonguykc said...

It's "implied" that we should all be in love on Valentine's Day & be rowdy and high-fivin' on Super Bowl Sunday.  Eh..  Create your own traditions and holidays.  I do.


lisa41076 said...

Mark, being a single gal Valentine's Day is just another day to me, Hugs Lisa