Friday, December 14, 2007

Standing Your Ground ...

... just because Nebraska may have been right ... doesn't necessarily mean I am wrong ...

... last night, the teacup rattled and broke, and a storm spilled out ... it was telling in that it reaffirmed several things that I had already suspected, and was up to facing ...

... but the crux for me is that it grew from lack of communication ... there was nothing said that couldn't have already been dealt with ... lack of communication kills more relationships than guns do ...

... I can't stress enough that I am easy to talk to ... I will even try to work with you if you do happen to speak rougher than average ... while I don't expect anyone to get all 'Drill Sergeant' and stay there, I would be willing to take that, if we can get back to normal and in a loving, caring relationship again ...

... so that last night's heated conversation took place, I tried to at least have the venue switched ... I tried to use the intercom system to see if I could get Mookie to come upstairs to the bedroom ... when she didn't pick up, I knew something was up ... I had to count to ten ... because I don't shy away from confrontation ... I would rather avoid one if at all possible ... but there was no other option that would lend itself to possible positive consequence ...

... so I went downstairs ...

... the specifics came down to this ... she is upset that things aren't going the way that she wants them to ... no worries, I mean, that is part of the 'life, liberty, and the pursuit ...', and I am wanting to help in the pursuit part ... not because I just want to help, but that is where MY happiness comes from ... helping others with their pursuit ...

... so when you don't talk to me, and I have to guess at what is needed to be done ... and still I am not attending to what your needs/wants are, then I am going to become angry ... because when you don't, you now are preventing me from achieving MY HAPPINESS ...

... so I shared with her some of my not so mundane worries that I have chosen not to burden her with ... and went back to why I have asked her to make certain changes, to make our relationship more comfortable for the BOTH of us, without it being at the EXPENSE of the other ...

... yet, because she still clings to whatever <I know what it is, but I don't really want it to matter to me anymore> her ideal relationship would be instead of dealing with what she chose ...

...let me say this ... communication isn't just the only important factor in a relationship ... but it is the heartbeat of it ... and just as problems with cardiovascular system demands attention, so does how you communicate with your partner ...

... not only can I talk ... I can listen ... I haven't had anyone say anything that hurt me to the point where I was at a loss, but I am not saying it can't be done ... what I am saying, and what I do think, is that I will at least try to take it ...

... so try me ...

... I don't want a relationship to die from lack of communication ... not that ...

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