Stella Was A Diver …
… watching the show ‘Contender’ on ESPN, and putting my essence into the program, into the familiar environment of boxing, I think I am closer to what I miss about the game the most. It is actually what I miss the most about the good events of my life, that I didn’t have that sharing moment with someone special in my life.
Tonight’s episode was the season’s finale, $750k for the winner. The match up was the always compelling youth v. experience. Youth in the form of Jadion Codrington and the experience in Saiko Bika. I didn’t see myself in either fighter, but I am a fighter, and that is link enough.
Given the format of the show, I can see where after taxes, the winner was pocketing life changing money. They wouldn’t have anyone to pay other than themselves - no obligations to trainers or promoters. So I am guessing that the winner ended up putting at least $500k in their bank account.
I was just excited to be watching boxing. Mook and lil’ Mook were out at the mall, so it was just me here to enjoy the fights. And the fireworks started at the first bell, with both fighters trading knockdowns as well as big punches. I was losing my mind! A couple of rounds later, they did inset shots of the fighter’s significant other, and that is when it started happening …
I love my Mother. Yes Mom, I know I let you down. Shoulda, woulda, coulda …
… do think that I could make a case for being pushed out of the matriarchy though. Exhibit A would be my extended excursion to the World Junior Games when I was in High School. I was gone for a little over three weeks, and no one said much of anything to me when I came home. From getting my passport to getting my things together, I took that as one of the signs that maybe I wasn’t included in the process around the house. Though life experience has since changed my perspective of that time period, it hasn’t dulled the sharpness to the insecurity that it created.
Which is why I was feeling empty at the shots of Saiko’s and Jadion’s significant others. The contrasts between the two women, Saiko’s girl having been through the wars with him and the younger girl there for Jadion made me wonder what would have happened if I could have managed to maintain a relationship through the ups and downs of life.
Were I Jadion, it would have been my first wife, so I didn’t really think much about someone being at the start. But looking at Saiko’s old lady, who didn’t flinch when the going was rough, but exhorted him to fight harder … I did have that chance and flubbed it. And when I was still pushin’ leather, I did find myself kickin’ it with Nebraska. And it would have been cool, coming out to corn country and knocking out the farm hands and the cow herders!
So that is where I got stuck, wondering what would have happened if me and Nebraska had put some time in, then I got one more chance to dance under the lights, boxing on the show. My glassy eyed musings were shattered by the reality that they don’t open the show to big guys such as myself, so even in my wildest, it would never happen …
… still, it would have been nice ..!
Come See Me
I own what could pass for a scrap book only under the most literal interpretations. I don’t have ANY of my achievements, from Medals of Accomodations, to Awards from high school, and my boxing … if you didn’t know me, I couldn’t prove it to you, unless we ran into a fighter who’s paths I have crossed. Like pictures, I never saw the point of keeping such memorabilia. Who ever it was important to, they should have kept it. It would be nice to look back on it, I guess. Wouldn’t know, since I have never done it. I am a little bothered by the way Mook and lil’ Mook do things, like the concerts they’ve gone to and the letters and little certificates lil’ Mook brings home from school. I guess, the hero stuff falls to me, and I will get that stuff together. That would be a nice project, and it could serve as a diversion as well.
Getting my little schedule together for the year. But this is going to be a long week to two weeks that the girls are off. Now that we have bit on the cable deal, between the stupid BET and that darn ‘how YOU doin’’ Rasputina thing, lil’ Mook is jumping on all of my nerves! This is an admittedly cold winter, and that means I won’t be able to just escape on my trusty steed and ride off into the unknown for hours at a time. Not going to complain too much, because I got to do what I have got to do.
Length of Love
I think that is such a cool song … I don’t have my favourite Interpol song, because the ones that I like, I seem to have an equal affection for. I need to give their latest CD, ‘Our Love To Admire’, a listen to, even though not a tune jumped at me. I wish that I could catch up on my CD’s … I need to get Jill’s newest, and Queens of the Stone Age has a new one out as well. Those are artists I always trust content from, though Nebraska cheated sending me the Jill cuts she did! She has inextricably connected herself with one of the few AA musicians that I put on the highest tier in the pantheon of music.
I hope to go see her in concert in March, though that really isn’t likely. See, that is what I miss, someone who would go to trouble for me … oh wait, Nebraska did that ..! And really Mark, who are we kidding … it isn’t like it haven’t happened before, it is just that it isn’t happening NOW …
Doesn’t it always work that way?