... don't know if this is like 'Groundhog Day' or not, but it seems as if I am writing around and around about the same stuff, only changing the date ...
... Mookie Dee indeed missed me ... for a comparitive 5 minutes. The struggle until now had been to be objective and fair. She has other things going on in her life as well as me. What I would not mind hearing about is, that I am wrong for saying that unless it concerns lil' Mook DIRECTLY then it shouldn't vault my position in her daily priorities? Today I am wondering if I care ..?
Her big sister arrived the day after I returned ... and there you go Mark, we've even dusted around your spot! So there I go, back among the shadows ... not to mention the workout routine that I left her with, has been undone since ... which isn't a biggie to me, save that SHE is the one looking for something to do ...
... let her find herself a coach or whatever ... I officially GIVE UP ... it is a waste of time and effort. From here on, I am going to do me, and let Crom worry about the rest ..!
Chicago was WONDERFUL ... My sister has really grown into a beautiful woman. I wish that I could help her out more, and it may end up that way, if she can hold out on her end. Her better half seems to me, to be the same that my other half is to me. A growing drag co-efficent. You here the theme 'I could do bad by myself', utilized in the papblum that is R&B in various forms ... but for the both of us, it is very true.
Were I to move to Chicago with her, I would feel wholly and totally comfortable with having my daughters come to see me and stay as long as their hearts desire ... and I would be free to visit them on their home turf without fearing spears of jealousy jabbing at me ...
... not to mention the sense of adventure that would be Chicago ... and man, it is such a neat looking place ..! All of that would be intoxicating on it own ... then Nebraska had to come through and be all that I could ask for ... and making me dream of dreams that have long been forgotten ... but linger in the way that spirits are said to linger in buildings ... she is the one that lives on in the hallways of my mind ...
From her look to her deportment, her voice, her smile, her everything ... and to think that I could have taken a run at her years ago ... they do say things happen the way that they do for a reason ... perhaps this is why this happened NOW instead of then ...
That would be a distraction at this point ... I have to focus on the task at hand ... which is working with Ms. Neal and finding a job to supplement my life and to fund my operation. Life give way to the determined mind ... and that is what I am ... determined, and just totally confident that I can pull this shift off ..!
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