Friday, December 10, 2004

The way that I found you ...

NPR : TV on the Radio Wins Shortlist Music Prize

... that is a link to a story I heard on the radio ... about a group I really, really like ... following the link, you will see other artists that I either admire or own, some both ...

... what caught in my chest, is that to be considered for this 'prize', an artist must sell UNDER 500,000 units ... which essentially means that no one on the streets have heard of you!

That you must fall into one of the small cliques of fans or be in one of those hip, boehiman-like subgroups of cool or whatever, left me feeling further alienated.  I have never 'fit' where many of my passions lead me, and though I am not religious, it is nonetheless true what God demands from his followers ... either be cold or hot, lukewarm, and I will spit you out of my mouth ...

... for some reason, I have spent the past six months or so, watching my life flash by my minds eye, asking 'what could have been' ... people with greater issues than mine have found a way to overcome ... gone on to levels of living to which I aspire to ... which is part of why I think my gambit of regenisis can be pulled off ...

... thinking about this prize, and how much passion you must have to pursue your ambition, even though there is 'no one' listening ... kind of like fighters like John Ruiz, Bernard Hopkins, who despite early struggles, had the focus and the belief in themselves to not only persever, but to reach the heights and then DWELL there ... I have been asking myself 'what did I miss?', because I should have done more, and become more ... why didn't I?

... and the rhetoric isn't just in boxing or atheltics ... but life in general ... Monday, I am going downtown to talk to a consuelor about taking classes ... they should have me already in the system, I have just misplaced my password ... at any rate, get the ball rolling, so then, perhaps the gorrilla of the past NOT prologue will get off of my chest <or at least get on the Atkins plan!> and I can breathe ...


 

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