Got That Feelin'

Finally! I have made not only a mix tape, but a super mixtape ..! It has been quite a while since I just sat and listened to the tapes that I make for myself ... I usually just pop one in for my roadwork, but this one has been one that I have listened to, repeatedly, just flipping it over to each side ...

... originally, it was to be for AKA, and I will make her one, with some alterations, but after it came together, it sounded like SD, and I plan on sending it to her, with the flubs and all ...

... went for a run today, and on it, found out why I am where I am right now ... see, I had sat around most of the afternoon, and whenever I run like that, off my usual schedule, then my run time suffers ... still, I eventually got out, and planned on running a long run ...

... well, running up and down the blocks here is much more demanding than in Detroit ... the streets and sidewalks undulate, and there are grades that appear out of nowhere ...

... knowing that it was a long run, and that I wanted to push through to establish my time, I could feel the pull of the quit job coming on ... even though I kept on telling myself not to quit, and that it would be better if I just ran the run, no matter the time of it ...

... going up the incline, I thought of the Churchill quoute about '...now is the time to to fatigue ...' from WWII, when the Allies were laying siege to the Nazis ... and knowing that once I got over the little hill, that I would have a burst of adrenaline from forcing myself, to go on ... and still, I quit ... I stopped and quit on myself ... and that made me feel worse ...

... it wore on me, that I didn't know how far I was going, and I guess it intimidated me ... even though I kept telling myself that making the run was beneficial enough, and not to fret about the distance or the time ...

... but a lot of the angst was coming from me taking and macro'ing something that was a micro situation ... eventually, i cranked my legs up, and I was able to get some speed into my run ...

... it is late, and I am actually feeling tired ... so I am going to take that cue, and nod out ...