Thursday, August 12, 2004

Coolin' the Lava ...

This Charming Man …


             It is going to be something, to make the choice that I have made.  Each and every moment seems like an eternity, as well as a look into what could be.

            Thinking about what Micheal/Korvac told Captain America before he slew him in issue #177 of Avengers … “… must be swift, must be brutal …”

            I can’t really think of anything else to say.  This is going to be a closed chapter in my life, just as it had been before.  I don’t know if I will ever be coming this way again, but the one thing that I am sure, is that this is going to be a springboard to another better, and different life.

            First, I have to find out about where I am landing, and what I am going to do when I hit the ground.  This is going to be a case of planning for success, and making the most of the rest of my life.

            Finding a job to make my own pocket change, and to pay for school, will be next, then getting my Army paperwork done.  After that, education, education, education.

            Man, I keep on skirting the issues.  One of the things that have been a major factor in my life is the role of relationships in my life.  This is a particular situation, but looking at the complexities is why I am getting off track.  What is important is what should be important.  And that is going to be something that I admit to myself, which is my ego.

            Being with AKA has a particular gratification that I have always turned away from, with the thought that I owe something else to someone.  The entire act, no matter what I am sharing, of being in love, is essentially selfish.  AKA has said something that I could save her life and I think she may be able to save mine …

            Now, I will have to work for this.  It isn’t something I can expect to happen easily.  And there is going to be some hand-to-hand work necessary.  This won’t, to put it simply, be a clean situation.

            I will need to purchase a couple of tubs for the storage, and then generate some money for the equipment to move.  Getting over the “cowardliness” of how it will be seen on one end, replacing it with the courage that it takes to live one’s life, iswhat is next.

            It just won’t be easy.  Hell, I still “code” stuff to myself.  I have to overcome that.


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