What makes up a "personality"?  Is a personality the sum of all the things that you think??  If so, then the Emerson quote about the results of "sowing a thought..." takes a lot of the "if" out of "what if", at least it does for me  There are a few people who have crossed my life who would go on to success in their particular fields and when I recall those moments, I often reflect on the intensity with which they pursued their goals.  Often, people (myself included) believe that there is a precursor to the heights that one attains in life, like a good upbringing, rich parents, or somehow being "born" with certain gifts.  Though I am sure that having any or even all those things does augur success, they do not assure success in and of themselves.  But, as encoded by Emerson, the steady and sure practice OF the practice that bears success will make one successful.  That is what I saw in those people who made themselves, quite literally, the people that they are.  So, it isn't that I didn't "know better" as much as I did not "choose better".   “Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action; reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character reap a destiny.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

People tend to fail when they are unable to raise the level of their thinking.  This, I think, poses a conundrum … how can you raise the level of your thinking when it is how you think, ultimately, that brought you to where you to the level you are at?  This is why, IMO, people who are unsuccessful in their minds at life, are at a loss.  Yet when a person upon reaching a crossroads that demands that they make a decision, have only the processes that brought them to the conundrum that is leaving them exacerbated.  Our brains are designed to seek and maintain homeostasis… but our MINDS are what drives us forward, drives us to achievement.  And it is the mind that gives us our identity.  You are not only what you think, but also how you think.  It isn’t that success is reserved for only the successful, but for those who believe in their minds that they are, themselves, successful.

Since I was able to confirm my brain injury, I find that I have pushed myself down a narrower slice of being than the one that I was on before the diagnosis of TBI.  Part of that decision was out of necessity… I did not want too much exposure to the world at large.  But that is similar to the path to fulfillment, at least in regard to my personal journey, and to that of others who have the life that has been consciously lived .  The more that I have manage to accomplish, from putting my affairs in order, to relocating and settling into a different city, the more that I have continued to grow and evolve as a person.  I can say that I have a relationship with my oldest daughter, and it goes without saying that KT considers me her Father, capital F.  I have not given up on Lexxie and just maybe we all will get the chance to go to Epcot together. 

Back on message.  I have occasionally been amazed at the progress that I have made.  Eventually I will be able to consider myself the owner/operator of two businesses that improves the lives of those in my community.  I am also talking with someone about a real estate venture… and that still does not take in consideration other opportunities to build other small business and independent contractor-ish things.  The one thing that I do wish I had finished was my schooling, because of what it meant to me.  Even in writing that brings an immediate urge to “make it happen”.  While I prefer going to class, maybe I will have to do some of it online, or at the very least, make it a weekend thing.  Anything to get back on that horse and finish that race is what I plan to do!!