Thoughts That Are Scratching In My Head

This was the roughest term since I have renewed my academic journeys.  I never felt comfortable in my American History class and my Critical Thinking class, which I expect to blast through, never left the launch pad.  Somehow, I managed a “B” in both classes, and am looking forward to figuring out what classes I am going to take for spring.  In other news, I am also a certified United States Amateur Boxing Federation (USABF) trainer, so if anyone wants me to get them ready for a boxing match, I am available!  My girlfriend will likely be my first pupil, and I am sort of excited about getting her going.

I took a couple of spills on my bike last week… one the first, I got a nasty wound below my left knee.  It was (and still is) painful in the way that superficial wounds can be painful.  Even the brush of my pant leg is enough for the wound to let me know, “You don’t have any skin covering this area”.  The other fall was, and is, more substantial.  I took bad fall near the downtown library.  Not only was I sore, but I had a hard time of “getting it together”.  Yeah, I know… I should have prolly went and got looked at, but hey, I had my helmet on and I am as up to speed as I can expect to be.

Nebraska and I have started training together.  It is a good opportunity to practice working with a client.  One thing that I will have to work on for sure is how I speak to a client.  My tendency to be flip with people I know vs. how I plan on being with a client is a little bit of a contrast with how I am with someone who I thought I was familiar with...

The other day me and a co-worker were talking about nothing.  I can’t recall the particular thread of the conversation, but seemingly out of nowhere he suggested that, “I write a book”, ostensibly about whatever we were talking about.  It was one of the best indirect compliments that I can recall getting from a person, though there have been others that are right up there with that.  So far, I have enjoyed my decision to move to Omaha, no reservations or second guessing.  This is a feeling that I have had since my first visit to town, when I had to fill out my paperwork for housing.  Now, from an empty apartment, I have gone to where I am sitting on a couch with a Japanese Chin, who has loved me from my first appearance in her life, snoozing peacefully, as I sit here typing this and listening to a podcast through my JBL speaker.  Things could be better, but not by much!!

THE GHOST

A few years ago I went out on what was the best date of my life.  Everything about the evening had that whimsical touch of romance, so much so that it could have been a scripted Hallmark movie!  

It was a warm, early fall evening.  We met in the Old Market and I was immediately taken with her.  She really was stunning, looking far less stressed as she was on our initial encounter at the Med Center in Midtown.  I recall her brief nervousness being undone by my enthusiasm.  I was not only impressed with her, but by how “perfect” the evening was and how right our simple date was going, and that it eventually ended with a sweet, tender yet simple kiss, as well as a vow to meet again soon.

We would get together for another simple and elegant date.  It was memorable for her thoughtfulness, and her chance to do a little tour guide of Omaha.  After two months of regularly making time for one another, there was talk of spending even more significant time together, riding to Indiana and Detroit, and from there, who knows?  Then, it happened.

I will need readers to bear with me when I say “it”.  There was never any catastrophic events, no emotional outburst, none of the typical disappointments that usually leads to sudden stops in a budding relationships.  No hidden relationships that suddenly explode unto the scene via a Telenovela-like coincidence.  As far as I knew, we had spent a wonderful weekend, including a sleep-over and breakfast at her place.  I had met her near-adult children (a 17-year old boy and a younger teen girl… she has and adult son that I never met), and I knew of her oldest son but I never met him, as he did not live at home.  So when she had dropped me back at my apartment, I had no idea of what was to come.  

There has been a time where I was quite a character with regard to relationships with women.  Because I figured that once I mentioned to a potential new “Miss What’s Happening”  that I have 3 girls WITH 3 different girls, that details would not be necessary!  But as crappy as I have been, there were some things, not unlike the honor that theives are said to have amongst themselves, that I not only have not done, but would not do.  Like ghosting.

For those unfamiliar with the term, ghosting, according to Google Search, is when a person stops all contact with a person after a few dates.  Though I did think that we had safely made it through the period of uncertainty where you don’t know if you are a couple or not, the sudden stop with communication was bracing. She was an objectively beautiful-looking woman, a good cook, not to mention thoughtful and caring.  We had a lot in common… or so I thought.  So why is this person a topic that is currently ciculating in my thoughts?

I don’t remember what specifically caused me to delete her from my phone… but she has never deleted my number from hers.  Over the past three years, she has occasionally sent me text messages that she saw me riding my bike … never giving me a hint of where she saw me. But she sent another message recently, informing me that she saw me cycling again… and that she lives not far from my old apartment… and that she still remembers where I work.  Which is something that I find very discomforting.