A SIGHTING

TACTICAL

It’s been a peculiar time around here.  I have not been blogging or reading many blogs lately primarily because I have not been healthy for the past 6 months.  My gout has cleared up but I now have either a cold or maybe “walking pneumonia” that I picked up about a week and-a-half ago.  It isn’t any close to being anything major but I am weary from being unhealthy for so long and my current congestive issue is more annoying than anything.

More on my health highlights … I will have my liver checked out next month.  Moving into middle age has been slightly unnerving, from having intense concern over my HDL numbers and cutting back on certain foods to avoid fat  cloistering around my internal organs!  Next thing you know, I will be eating cottage cheese and making all the early bird dinner specials at restaurants!!

One of the more intriguing changes in my life and something that I have written about before is how unimportant sports have become in my life.  I have not followed the NCAA Men’s basketball tournament since State’s shocking 1st round loss to Middle Tennessee State.  My lack of interest isn’t due to my being a poor sport but in having grown and matured, I don’t follow any level of athletics, amateur or professional, the same as I did when I was younger.  Also, the media saturation of all the outlets surrounding sports that are available is kind of overwhelming as well.  The paradox of choice -- so many sources of information are available that it paralyzes one’s ability to make the best decision in almost any area of life, much less as something as inconsequential as following sports.

When I begin to start my journal entries with a “Tactical” section, it was to separate my random thoughts from what I was actually dealing with.  The inspiration for the journal itself was born out of the stifling isolation that I was suffering while I was living with Mookie Dee and how critical it was that I got myself to a better place, mentally, physically and spiritually.  The process of my journal’s evolution led me to assign a section to what was directly happening to and/or influencing my life versus the random thoughts that occupied the deficit between where I was focused on going and wherever I actually was.  

NOW THAT I AM HERE

I think back to the early days of my journal and I would write about how much I was looking forward to moving to Omaha.  Primarily because of the amount of attention that my relationship hopes got, the expectations of what would finally happen between Nebraska and myself once I finally got here may have been outsized.  But that is from my perspective, thinking that there were those who saw the hopes of a possible romance as being a primary motivation for my moving here to Omaha.  At any rate, I understand if (my relationship hopes with Nebraska) there were some readers who thought everything revolved around finding love with Nebraska.  I have always included disclaimers to that effect, but I was never sure that if they ever had any impact… most critically with Nebraska herself.

At some point in the near future, I do expect to have a sit-down with her.  I am interested in hearing what she has to say and how her life has been going.  But I don’t have anything really to share with her, and by that I mean there is nothing going on in my life that I can’t share here in my journal that I would have kept specifically to talk with her about.  I don’t mean anything untoward by saying that, but I do think that I had indicated that I am not really as sociable as I may seem on the internet as I am in person.  Not that I am deliberately opposed to interacting with people and those around me, quite the contrary.  But when it comes on deciding on how I will spend the only concept of any real and intrinsic value to me, time, involved with a person, the bar is simply far higher than it is for someone that I am engaged with in passing only.  Similarly, I figure that if someone is unable to find time to spend engaged with me, that I too, am not of any real value to them as well.

Lastly, being in Omaha has ultimate provided me the opportunity to make sure that I remain free from the things that were the distractions and antagonists in my life.  For instance, for me to rant and rave on relationship would be a contradiction as I am no longer an observer to such things.  The different failings between men and women are of little concern to me, so why would I comment on such things?  

Right now, I am looking forward to going back to school in the fall, my daughter KT visiting me this summer, as well as a road trip to see my friends in Indiana.  Though I still find myself fretting about the the presidential election in the fall, I will not temper the my hopes for the future.