Saturday, January 28, 2012



No, this entry is not about the lame (but enjoyable, I think) 80’scomedy, but it is about the silent movie, “The Artist” that is playing at theRuth Sokolf TheaterNebraska took me to see it on Friday night and it was rather nice date, complete with the awkward kiss good-night moment that I thought was cute.  The entire evening had a really good feel to it and I am still smiling as I reflect on it as I am writing this.  I wanted to mention this before I get into the internal discussion I was sharing with you about my observations on relationships and looking at the example that the Maybe Miss provides, especially since the secondary discussion is going to be a contradiction to the warmth of my Friday night.

I never really had the opportunity to go out on a real ‘date date’ when I was in high school.  And though being on a military base is a lot like being a part of a big high school system with heavy firepower, I did not have many ‘date dates’ while I was enlisted, either.  To be honest, my desire to really and truly ‘date’ someone probably was a factor in Tee Jay and I getting on as well as we did.  We both knew we were attracted to one another physically, so instead of us worrying about that our relationship was one where things were able to develop organically.

Nebraska and I both knew that we were attracted to one another, even with our different personalities and reasons for our attraction.  The hard part has been our getting to know one another in lieu of our own independent expectations of what things would be like between us.   I have a lot of respect for her putting in the effort and commitment to our relationship and her trying to get a handle on me and my personality as well.

I think that we have gone to four movies together, two alone and two others with her daughters.  The significance of the movies that we watched together is that they were both ‘Mark movies’, movies that I specifically wanted to see that exist outside the mainstream.  The first movie, “Love in the Time of Cholera”, was purely unintentional (I think she wanted to catch "Michael Clayton" at the time ).  Since we were supposed to go see a movie she had chose and I was just in a ‘follow’ mode, so I don’t know how we ended up in that theater.  And “The Artist”, another one of the darlings of the film awards, was another of the type of movies that I am used to going alone to see.  She mentioned that she wanted to see “The Artist” as well and why shouldn’t that be our first date of the New Year?

I brought the ‘Maybe Miss’ up because our relationship has begun to show itself as a clear example of when someone has not finished working through what they need to before they start a new relationship.  The reason I am making this assumption is the timing of her dropping out and reappearing on the horizon.   The winter holiday season is notable for a lot of things… bad turkey, crappy gifts, and drunks that last into the New Year and ruin more than a few resolutions on individual lists.  But it is also the time of hope and promise for relationships, and whether it is new OR the rekindling of a past relationship.  And it is the latter of this end-of-year observation upon which I am focused on right now.

When I met the Miss, I had just decided to open myself to someone without reservation.  A little full of myself, I did sort of expect to move seamlessly from one status update to another, but I was only a little full of myself.  Being confident isn’t the same as being cocky, so while I was impressed by her at first, the saw about ‘if things are seemingly too good to be true…’ kept hanging around in my thoughts.  It wasn’t that I was necessarily looking for trouble as it was that there were conspicuous absences that made me say “hmmm…” 
Since I am having trouble regaining my grasp on College Algebra (which did not prevent me from registering for the next math course for spring) and mucking along the boards to get going on my research paper, the Miss Maybe drew a shrug, and I kept on with what I was keeping on with.
Okay, maybe the kind of okey-doke that I suspect is being pulled is usually done by men, but that doesn’t mean that women can’t be equally as crappy.  Now I could also be completely off, and that when she told me that she did not see us being able to go any further and now has had a change of heart, but really?  You are expecting me to believe that??  Shee-oot, I still believe in the Knights of the Templars and the Tri-lateral Commission, and I am more Mulder than I am Scully, so…


Eh, not really, but when you are not going to change your course it is okay to not ponder on the things to your left or to your right.  The only time you need to worry is when the objects in your mirror not only appear close but actually are, and if there is the a chance of a collision at an intersection.  So for me, “I don’t know” means, “whatever I was doing before you were here, is what I am going to be doing after you leave,” and is a good enough answer to a question for me!

Besides I tend to look fondly on someone who is willing to go through a few thickets to walk with me anyway...


Thomas Alice said...

A boss told me once that the people he trusts don't say "I don't know," they say "I'll find out."

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

I think keeping on with your thing is the right path.

mrs.missalaineus said...

i've tutored on facebook before -inbox me and maybe i can work something out with you step by step-


* Ashleigh * said...

Hey Mark! Good job on the date; perhaps another one is on the horizon? One day at a time and keep your head up :)

Jonthy Williams said...

So Mark,
What did you think of "The Artist?"

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