I DON’T MIND YOU COMIN’ HERE AND WASTING ALL MY TIME (TIME)
Because I so enjoy my solitude, I had to struggle with the finding a way to waste time. I am a self-described house cat and I enjoy chilling, catching up on reading, listening to stuff or visiting blogs. That is good enough for me to count as ‘things I did’ for the day. Just because I am by myself does not mean I am ‘wasting time’.
What constitutes ‘wasted time’? Oh, I dunno… sitting around with my a** on my shoulders for a reason that I am going to look back on and say… “Dude… what the hell were YOU thinking??” whenever I reflect on my actions. I remember how I would feel put upon by AKA while I was in the Motor prior to going to Virginia to be with the SFC. I may have griped about her constantly hovering over me (even now I half expect her to pop out as I find myself jogging ‘round town) but whenever we got together I never felt that we were ‘wasting time’ and certainly not MY time. Either I was fulfilling a purpose for myself or for a person I was fond of (in order to say I am ‘that kind of guy’, you have to do ‘that kind of guy’ things), and that wasn’t a ‘waste’.
I do feel like there is a time waste when you have on adult trying to ‘teach’ another adult a lesson. That kind of thinking will get someone ‘fired’, you feel me? Why would a person choose to deny not only me but themselves the pleasure of good company?? Before you say, “Uh, Brother Mark, aren’t you being a little hypocritical?” first, hear me out.
My actions have been consistent with my stated purpose of focusing on building a life for myself here in Omaha. I have not been leading anyone to believe I desire the company of another for any purpose at all. When I think about wasted time in a relationship, it is when someone has become detached and has stopped participating in making a relationship happen. I am still thinking that my best possibility lies with a relationship with Nebraska.
Mookie Dee started to waste my time near the end of our relationship. I would ask her how things were between us and she assured me that things were going well and that she was still ‘in’ even though I knew she was steppin’ ‘out’. Even after I connected the dots, I still managed to find a reason that I was comfortable with for staying with her until the time came for me to pull up stakes and leave.
That is another ‘time waste’ that occurs within a relationship that I can’t tolerate. Now I am extending the definition to mean non-coital interaction for which I first developed the idea for. ‘Pootie Tag’ is when sex is used as a bargaining chip to influence a person’s behavior in a relationship. What the --?!?
BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW IF THERE WILL BE ANYMORE…
Essentially, it falls under the broader “I have a headache” rationale that women are saddled with as they try to ‘weaponize’ the very act designed to express how much two people care for one another. But I have trained myself not to be bothered by such brinksmanship … after all, how do you explain a ‘drought’ within a relationsh—oh, right… you can’t! If you ain’t bangin’ your chick and if she ain’t cuttin’ a slice off for her dude, someone else will! Either way that is goes, it means you aren’t part of a couple and if you think you are, you are deluding yourself…
…and you are wasting your time.
I think that the attitude of ‘Just What I Needed’ is one where a cat ‘gets it’ and he understands that it is not going to be him BUT he doesn’t mind (much) because it comes with the territory. That is one reason I don’t feel that someone could waste my time because if I give of myself freely, then it is all good.
Yet to deliberately without ANYTHING for idiotic reason in a relationship… now that is a waste of time.