Sunday, July 10, 2011


The Sarcastic Bastard often posts things because she ‘damn likes’ whatever it is. Well, I like this song and the episode of ‘Ren and Stimpy’ that it borrows from. It reminds me of a lot of things, a lot people and places. One set of ‘people and places’ it reminds me of is Mookie Dee, back when she wasn’t more than a lil’ Mook herself and Big Mark was more of a ‘medium-sized Mark’ (have to get my high school boxing picture scanned so I can show you how I looked!

Did I mention how much I like Omaha? It is a super nice town and everyone is so friendly, and by that I mean they are a out-of-their-own-way kind of friendly as if they would be doing a disservice to their family name. I can only see good in town, not that there aren’t women with vertical stretch marks in halters or overweight men and their wobbly jowls with filled with food and mouth spewing stupidity around. Maybe one day I will make an aggregation post and see how critical I can be of ‘the Big O’, because my personal defense condition is still at 3, and prolly won’t change ANYTIME soon.

Even though the name of the song and the cartoon is ‘Marooned’, being marooned does not connote the same thing for me as it does for most people. For me, being completely alone is a precursor to my finding a potential path to personal success.

And I say ‘potential path’ guardedly. While I have not made a habit of inviting any disastrous people into my life, I have occasionally allowed people who did not completely fit the criteria I had set for becoming an intimate part of my human ‘being’.


Accounting for my own faults and flaws, a nagging trend in my previous relationships has been having my partner accept me as I am. The last time I had someone willing to do that was over a decade ago, my relationship with Tee Jay. With relationships between men and women, more specifically BLACK men and women, becoming more and more adversarial, I looked at being single the same was as how Norman Minnow saw bad television.

I believe that when a relationship works, with both parties being caring and thoughtful to one another ,supportive in whatever endeavor their partner engages in, as well as being faithful, generally behaving in the way advised by Kahlil Gibran, it is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, relationships are not held in high enough regard to where even having an ‘average’ coupling means something on the order of resembling anything on the order of functionality. And my being out of the game for over a decade means that I don’t know if my approaches or desires are even relevant in today’s climate. Right now the observing and probative scouting I have been doing has left me doubtful of finding a partner. And I am yet too vital to have to put ‘company’ at the top of my list for why I would pursue a relationship.


Not only has the ‘way the game is played’ changed, but it is simply not a priority for me to learn the subtleties of how it is conducted. There is no imperative for me to want to ‘get at’ someone. I would still be willing to take a risk if I was sure that the other party was as willing to step out into the Ultraworld with me for an adventure. But there is so much acrimony between sisters and brothers that it would make the gulf between the Repugs and the White House seem like a rain puddle.

I have to have something more than the ‘easy part’ to move my position. There needs to be something tangible, something to, dare say, for me to grab for. Really, what IS my motivation to include another person and their consciousness in my life? I am not looking for a ‘playmate’, for I am certain there are enough of those to be had.

Anywho, it made sense to talk about the various women that had been spotted on my radar… after all, it is a part of my day to day. Saw another ‘bowl eligible’ young lady last night as I cruised around the Old Market after my workout. She went across the street and hung on the corner, chatting up a street musician. I had stopped and was listening to the guys on the corner nearest to me. I listened to a song and thought they were pretty good and worth the single I flipped into their open guitar case. Then I asked them if they knew anything by The Brand New, and they all did a little ‘bro-squeal’ as that was the next song they were going to play. All in all, I enjoyed it and I have to wonder if it would have been more enjoyable a moment if I had someone to share it with, someone who may well have not been ‘in’ to the song as I was or was this the best I could hope for… because chilling with the small group of folks was NOT bad at all. And I would not have traded the time listening to the band and maybe having someone possibly roll their eyes or make some other disapproving comment about my ‘tastes’, and take away from my moment.

Defeats the purpose of being ‘in’ anything with someone, don’t you think? 


Lovebabz said...

What you believe is what you see. if you believe Brothers and Sisters are at odds with each other, then every relationship of that sort will bear that out...until YOU change YOUR mind.

If you want a relationship that is harmonious, happy, loving and joyful then have that. You can keep finding fault...excuses..reasons why relationships don't work, or you can shift your thinking and have the relationship you so desperately want. Choose a partner who wants what you want and give up trying to do nothing but whine. Choose love or stay rooted in fear. (This is not personal to I don't know you personally...I am just sayin', since this seems to be a prevailing conversation that seems to be making it's way through "our" communities)

I will never believe this myth of Bothers & Sisters so at odds that we can't come together. Not while I know we learned to read by the light of the moon, we made our way to freedom following the North Star, that Black Men were once upon a time heads of Countries and families. I remember and will never forget. So I will always have love for Brothers and swear to do my part to keep hope alive.

OK I've waxed poetic enough. I got salmon on the grill and Pinot Noir in my glass...

Tawnya said...

You know my track record with relationships is not great. I do think that it is nice to have some one to share those little moments with. To have someone when things go wrong, to talk to and get support from. I am always looking for that.

Nebraska said...

Sometimes, when one tends to over analyze every facet of a relationship or "friendship," they tend to muddle the natural flow of getting to know a person, the simplicity of just being and the thrill of discovering both differences and alikeness.
More women than not, are more attracted to men that are themselves and learn to appreciate the different things that make him so unique, even if it's not what they are used to.
You should always hold on to what you value the most in relationships and not settle for less. But sometimes, loosen up and not focus on all the reasons why relationships don't work because there are PLENTY of relationships full of love and happiness that DO work.
Just my thoughts...

Jonthy, Alice the uppity white cat's babysitter said...

Lovebabz is a wise woman Mark. I almost always agree with her viewpoint. Soul-mates are rare but keeping an open mind helps in finding peace between men and women. Not every woman has the grace of Lovebabz but some of us can see through our differences (sex, race, likes, dislikes) and I don't think it takes rose-colored glasses.
Enjoy your salmon and Pinot Noir Lovebabz!

Enjoy Omaha Mark!

Toon said...

I'm glad I'm too tired to think as much as you. I did nothing but think in my late 20s and it aged me horribly!

Have Myelin? said...

Hmmm.... I hear what Mark is saying and the others. A balance must be struck.

I do lipread conversations of "couples" I randomly spy on since I am deaf. =) Be careful what you say in public, someone may be lipreading you!

I am deeply struck by how men and women talk to one another....and there is no way I would tolerate that kind of talk from my boyfriend. I guess most people do not have very high standards in how they speak to their supposed loved ones.

Saying "Oh shut the f**k up" would buy you several nights on the sofa at our place, if not a permanent exit... yet it seems to be a common phrase between loving couples I've spied on.


DB said...

Some things can be shared with an other, some things can't. Your moment was sharing with the band. With the other it would be sharing with her, no matter what the reaction. It's a choice.

That's what I think.


Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Looking forward to you showing me Omaha.