I would like to qualify my current trend on relationships. First, none of the women who are in my life, current or recent past, have done or said anything that has motivated me to think about relationships and how they are seen in the wider society and how that view reflects in my life. Blame Book TV, Kay Hymowitz and the two women in the header for that.
No, I have not been doing well. I feel a little poorly, and my inactivity in the blogosphere reflects that my struggles. Prior to now, even when I have nothing to write about in my journal, I have been able to find the time to read and leave comments in the blogs that I subscribe to. But I haven’t even been reading journal for however long it has been that I have been hazy, maybe a week or so.
I won’t go into what has been complicating thing for me until I manage to say something to Nebraska. While this is a journal of my thoughts to express the ballast of my life, one of the things that I believe to be a drag co-efficient for me has been the feeling that I have less that a charmed life. Complaining about things when at the end of the day I feel good is a contradiction that I can’t abide in my life. The grief that I have experienced over broken promise, disappointment and loss is something I have always kept to myself… and why ‘keeping problems to yourself kid ‘cause I got my own’, is more than a pithy non-sequitur I use occasionally for effect. It is what I say to myself when it comes to dealing with my problems. Hmm, there was a cadence call, ‘there ain’t no use in lookin’ down now… ain’t no discharge on the ground now’, from basic training in the Army that speaks to my attitude about ‘things’ as well.
…ANYWHO, I WATCH TOO MUCH BOOK TV…
Left to my own devices, my way of ‘escaping’ is not to indulge myself in mindless fantasy. That is another reason I have been a PBS and public radio (since I used to listen to a lot of CBC Radio as well growing up in the Motor) have been mainstays of my weekend recreational activities. I will read a book or watch a show like 'Morgan Freeman’s Through The Wormhole' on Discovery Science, or, watch what is on Book TV!
I don’t know if there is anything behind their airing of Kay Hymowitz and Suzanne Venker talking about their recent books, but I took in a lot more than I left behind. Unlike Hymonwitz, Suzanne Venker with Phyliss Schafly riding shotgun as a co-author, and that is what made her discussion of “The Flipside of Feminism: What Conservative Women Know - and Men Can't Say”, ‘must see TV’ for me. I don’t mind risking offending some with my writing because I am seeking to add to my knowledge base. The purpose of my ‘goal for life’ is not to be narrow but to broaden my vision.
That is another conversation. While I don’t agree with either Venker or Schafly in principle, that is not to say that their arguments are devoid of merit and should force feminist to ask themselves what is their ultimate goal? I do agree with what Schafly said about victimization, as it generally holds water over a broad scope of personal, as well as social issues. I do think that there is a disconnect between what feminism is working towards and what it actually accomplishes.
"Feminisim is a structual analysis of a world that oppresses women. An idealology that patriachy exists and needs to end." – Jessica Valenti
If that is indeed this is the manifesto of the 3rd wave of feminism, I am inclined to agree with it. But it comes with a caveat. Ms. Schafly mocks how some feminists were shocked that after passing their child-bearing years that when they wanted to have a child how difficult, if not impossible that goal was. I do believe it is possible to have your cake and eat it too, but man, to walk a path that narrow takes a lot of moxie. James Franco seems to have the world in his palm. His career and his pursuits are enviable and this is where I think many hostile feminists get their panties wadded up.
Though he does not have a main squeeze publicly, there are certain difference between men living a well-rounded life than from women isn’t simply due to a specific cultural, political or social agenda. Some of it owes itself to an impossible to deny biological imperative. Whether he decides at 35, 45, or even 55, he can. On the flipside, I have spoken to several established professional women who if not past those prime years to be a mother, for whom they are quickly approaching. I think that this is what plays a part of the anger in the ‘femme’ feminists, who went to the right schools and worked their way up the corporate ladder (or whatever ladder they chose to climb) and find that after all their accomplishments and perceived success, now that they would like to be a Mother, they can’t. I think that is why feminists seem to blame the hierarchy for something that is beyond anyone’s control.
And you know what else I think that biology has done to the Carrie Bradshaw’s of the world? The social environment that spawned the ‘New Girl Order’ also had the unintended consequence of 'Lost Boys Syndrome' of men, as I think ‘Manning Up’ may hint at. Sure, girls can do a lot of things that boys can, even to the point where they do them better. But there is one thing that they can’t make men do, and that is participate in self-eradicating relationships. When I visit here for my next entry, I will pick up from here, talking about how different it is for men to step off the merry-go-round of love and relationship, and why there has to be ‘motivation’ for men now that we have been relieved of the biological imperative to procreate.